Maggie Gallagher is Pretty Much a Terrible Person

Marco Rubio was recently asked if he would attend the wedding of a loved one who was gay and marrying someone of the same gender. He gave an entirely reasonable answer that you take part in such events for those you love even if you think they’re making a bad choice:

“If there’s somebody that I love that’s in my life, I don’t necessarily have to agree with their decisions or the decisions they’ve made to continue to love them and participate in important events,” he told the interviewer, Jorge Ramos. “Ultimately, if someone that you care for and is part of your family has decided to move in one direction or another or feels that way because of who they love, you respect that because you love them,” he said.

Rubio compared it to attending “second marriages” after divorce, which the Catholic Church teaches are attempts to consecrate adultery. “If someone gets divorced, I’m not going to stop loving them or having them a part of our lives,” he said.

Maggie Gallagher said that Rubio answered that question with “great dignity and kindness.” And then she offers her answer, which contains neither of those things:

Here’s what I think. We are born male and female, and marriage is the union of husband to wife that celebrates the necessity of the two genders’ coming together to make the future happen. I know you don’t think that. I know the law no longer thinks that. But I have staked my life on this truth.

The problem for me in celebrating your gay wedding, as much as I love you, is that I would be witnessing and celebrating your attempt not only to commit yourself to a relationship that keeps you from God’s plan but, worse, I would be witnessing and celebrating your attempt to hold the man you love to a vow that he will avoid God’s plan. To vow oneself to sin is one thing, to try to hold someone you love to it — that’s not something I can celebrate.

And I would be party to the idea that two men can make a marriage, which I do not believe.

On your happy day you should be surrounded by people who can honor your vow and help you keep it. I can’t do that.

“Porneia” is a word in the Bible that has been much mistranslated. But I think it means a sexual relationship that cannot by its nature become a marriage. That’s why Christ said that marriage is forever, unless it is porneia.

I understand that you might well want to rupture our friendship over this, my honest view. I choose to love you both and keep you in my life.

But let us somehow against all odds find a way to love each other as we are, and not how each of us would wish the other to be.

I know that sounds like kindness. It pretends to be kindness. But it is anything but. You can’t just say flowery words and expect to be taken seriously when your actions belie those words. Does Gallagher also refuse to go to the weddings of divorced people? I highly doubt it. Does she refuse to go to the weddings of those from different religions? I highly doubt it. Does she refuse to go the weddings of people who commit any of the thousands of “sins” mentioned in the Bible? Of course not. So she is, in fact, singling out gay people for her judgment. Despite all the pretense of love and caring, she is motivated by bigotry. And there is no kindness in bigotry.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • hoku

    I’m just stunned Rubio took a reasonable position.

  • Chiroptera

    But I have staked my life on this truth.

    I realize that this is probably meant as a rhetorical flourish, like baroque curlicues around a printed invitation or something, but, still, this sounds nuts.

    I mean, yeah, it’s pretty easy to “stake your life” on something when your life isn’t in any danger at all.

    Also, I would think that “hate gays” would be pretty small potatoes even in right wing, evangelical circles. I mean, it seems to me, at best, a “derived truth” (in wingnut world) from more important principles which are far more worthy of “staking one’s life.”

    But then, I have never understood how gay hating became the most important tenet of conservative Christianity. It seems to have become even more important than Christ dying for our sins.

    I know that sounds like kindness.

    Maybe it would have sounded like kindness at one point in my life. But now I can read between the lines too well, and I see no kindness at all in it.

  • dugglebogey

    Presumably she would feel the same way about a person marrying an atheist.

  • dugglebogey

    Look, the GOP really doesn’t give a damn about homosexuality or gay marriage at all.

    They see it as a tool to win elections. As long as they can point at faggots and say to xtians “THEY’RE TRYING TO DESTROY YOUR RELIGION” they will continue this calculated program of hate.

    Until it starts to backfire on them so badly that it costs them more votes than it gets them, they will always pander to christians. And since the gullibility of those people is obvious, they will do this using fear.

  • RickR

    I’ve had Porneia. It’s a casserole you make with all your old, leftover porn. I substitute panko for regular bread crumbs because I like the topping extra crispy.

  • brucegee1962

    Until it starts to backfire on them so badly that it costs them more votes than it gets them,

    …at which point, we will suddenly discover via Fox News that they’ve always been the party of gay marriage — in fact, they were in favor of gay marriage while those nasty Democrats were trying to block it.

    They’ve mastered The Pivot from the civil rights days. We can also expect to see it once global warming becomes undeniable. When you specialize in low-information voters, you get to re-write your own history for every generation.

  • Sastra

    “Pretending to be kindness” is bread and butter for practically ALL spiritual belief systems. If it actually was kindness it wouldn’t need the shaky faith-based claptrap structured on top of the dubious supernatural framework. A genuine heartfelt concern for others only needs others to care about — and a heart.

    Instead, they weave a story about an ultimate perfect state of existence and focus their main concern on upholding that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001548104064 jimatkins

    Dugglebogey in #4 nails it. If you go back to half a century ago, what was Nixon’s Southern strategy about? Moving the white conservative Southerner to the conservative party by playing to their biases. As a political strategy, it was brilliant, moving the South and Southwest into the Republican fold for two generations. Demographics and the accelerating changes in attitudes about racism, bigotry and religion have the Red states beginning to see the end of the run, hence the laughable attempts at blatant Gerrymandering in North Carolina and other states. The arc of history bends…

  • gshelley

    Did she say anything about the second marriage part? Or if she would attend a secular wedding? Or a Hindu or Muslim one? Or a Catholic one?

    Is she being consistent here, or has she just singled out same sex marriages for special treament?

  • peterh

    “But I have staked my life on this truth.”

    Um . . . no, you actually haven’t and it actually isn’t.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1017276335 Strewth

    I’m willing to be very charitable and say what she was trying to get across was ‘I admit I can’t keep my religion to myself, so rather than make a scene I’d just not go to the wedding, because it’s their day and they deserve support not me bitching.’

  • raven

    Maggie Gallagher makes at least two errrors.

    1. That we care about her interpretation of her magic book of mythology. We don’t.

    2. That she has any moral, ethical, or legal right to tell other people who they should marry. She doesn’t.

    If you don’t want to get gay married, the solution is obvious. Don’t get get married. And leave the rest of us alone.

  • raven

    Are there gay people living on my road? Sure, it is a long road.

    Are they married? Got me, I don’t know or care one bit. It’s none of my business and I have better things to worry about.

    This is why the christofascists are losing. Other people’s marriage choices are, None of their business!!! And don’t effect them.

    They’ve come up with dozens of reasons why it is their business and how it effects them. All of which are simply wrong and laughable. I’m not worried that your nonexistent monster god is going to destroy the USA because he loves you and hates us.

  • John Pieret

    I would be party to the idea that two men can make a marriage

    So, if SCOTUS does what everyone, including you, expects, are you going to leave the US and give up your citizenship? Otherwise, you will be “party to the idea that two men can make a marriage” every bit as much if you go to a gay wedding.

    But I have staked my life on this truth

    No, you made a career out of bigotry and are now having buyer’s remorse. You want to be compassionate but just can’t bring yourself to admit that your life up until now has been a waste.

  • colnago80

    I wonder how the holier then thou Gallagher would feel if one of her born again friends refused to attend her wedding because she had a child out of wedlock?

  • scienceavenger

    We are born male and female [no we aren’t], and marriage is the union of husband to wife [no it isn’t, and never has been] that celebrates the necessity of the two genders’ coming together to make the future happen[not necessary, study some medicine].

    Wow, a trifecta of falsehoods in one sentence. Impressive. [applause]

    I can understand how they can make absurdly false statements on complicated or nebulous subjects. But I fail to udnerstand how they can get away with stating falsehoods that anyone with open eyes can see are crapola.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    hoku “I’m just stunned Rubio took a reasonable position.”

    ITS LIKE HE DOESNT EVEN WANT TO WIN THE PRIMARY!!!

  • cptdoom

    The irony, of course, is that Gallagher is in a mixed-religion/mixed-race marriage with a Hindu man of Southeast Asian descent, but never seems to give any credence to the beliefs of those who would be offended by her lifestyle choices.

    We are born male and female, and marriage is the union of husband to wife that celebrates the necessity of the two genders’ coming together to make the future happen.

    And in Gallagher’s world, all men are exactly the same as all other men and all women are exactly the same as all other women and there’s no variation in gender identity or gender expression. In the real world, the variability on those two traits is evident if you simply walk down the street.

  • raven

    Presumably she would feel the same way about a person marrying an atheist.

    Or a Protestant, Mormon, Democrat, or Jew.

    One of the ways cults keep going is by promoting endogamy.

    The bible colleges don’t actually teach much of anything. They are mostly a way for young people to meet other young people from the same cult. BYU is one big Mormon marriage market and they all know it.

    PS: It does work the other way around too. What would you (plural) do if your kids converted to fundie-ism and married a…fundie xian? What horror!!! (It does happen but it is rare.)

    I would have had to just try to deal with it as best I can. It’s their life, they own it, and can make their own decisions. Never came up.

  • caseloweraz

    Maggie Gallagher: Here’s what I think. We are born male and female, and marriage is the union of husband to wife that celebrates the necessity of the two genders’ coming together to make the future happen.

    There it is again: the unfounded claim that if same-sex marriage receives the sanction of the Supreme Court, humanity will inevitably — at some future, unspecified point — cease to exist.

    It grows tiresome.

  • eric

    I would be witnessing and celebrating your attempt to hold the man you love to a vow that he will avoid God’s plan.

    So, I take it you don’t watch swearing-in ceremonies and citizenship/naturalization award ceremonies, where people swear to support and defend the first amendment (well, the Constitution, of which it is a part)?

  • noe1951

    “But let us somehow against all odds find a way to love each other as we are, and not how each of us would wish the other to be.”..of course, I don’t mean you and me – that would be silly.

  • Michael Heath

    Maggie Gallagher writes:

    The problem for me in celebrating your gay wedding, as much as I love you . . .

    I’m supremely confident that Ms. Gallagher is unwilling and incapable of loving a gay person. So her hypothetical here is absurd.

  • busterggi

    ““Porneia” is a word in the Bible that has been much mistranslated. But I think it means a sexual relationship that cannot by its nature become a marriage. ”

    So when is she going to finish her translation of the rest of evey word ever used? Since she rewrites meanings as she goes along maybe she means the opposite of what her words appear to mean.

  • Cal

    I think the shorter answer in her case is that she would not have been invited to attend.

  • raven

    ““Porneia” is a word in the Bible that has been much mistranslated. But I think it means a sexual relationship that cannot by its nature become a marriage. ”

    Doesn’t mean that at all. It seems to mean something like forbidden sex. FWIW, a huge number of “porneia” do become marriages. Very few people are virgins at marriage any more.

    Porneia – New Testament Greek Lexicon – King James Version

    www. biblestudytools. com/lexicons/greek/kjv/porneia.html

    Learn about Porneia using the New Testament Greek Lexicon – King James Version in … Definition. illicit sexual intercourse. adultery, fornication, homosexuality

    It’s once again another case of, “Let’s Make Stuff Up and claim it is in the bible.”