Creflo Dollar: All My Money Belongs to God

Creflo Dollar, the televangelist con man who has become staggeringly rich by fleecing his credulous flock, says there’s no such thing as the prosperity gospel and that he isn’t really filthy rich because all of the money he has really belongs to God.

After coming under fire for asking 200,000 people to donate $300 or more each to raise $65 million to help his ministry purchase a luxury jet last month, popular televangelist Creflo Dollar, who is widely reported to be worth an estimated $27 million, has declared that “there is no such thing as the prosperity gospel” and the money in his pocket belongs to God.

“When we talk about prosperity, and people say it’s the prosperity gospel, there is no such thing as the prosperity gospel, it’s the gospel of grace. The money in my pocket is not mine, it’s God’s,” said Dollar, in a promotional clip for an episode of “Your World With Creflo” where he speaks with pastor Gregory Dickow of Life Changers International Church.

“It came from Him. He is the source behind everything we have that is good. He loves to be trusted; He loves to be the one that you lean on. He loves to be the one that you rely on and He wants to be the one that you lean on and rely on first,” continued Dollar in the clip.

Well that’s damn convenient for you, isn’t it? And yet, according to your own fucked up theology, if you’d give that money away, God would give it back to you a hundred fold and you’d have even more of God’s money to buy mansions and private jets with. The fact that you don’t shows that you know you’re full of shit.

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  • http://atheist-faq.com Jasper of Maine

    Wait… just where have I heard that rationalization before, just before someone is sent to federal prison?

  • busterggi

    I smell a Ham.

  • John Pieret

    Creflo, Jesus called and said that, if it’s his money, give it all to the poor … in case you never got as far in your Bible studies as Matthew 19:21.

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    Hey Creflo, I just spoke with God and he said he’d lend me $5 million of that $27 mil you are holding for him, thanks.

    Also, how do you report God’s money on your 1040? Do you take any portion of that as personal income?

  • anubisprime

    Well that god is a handy card to have up the sleeve cos his mere summoning gets his minions all sorts of bonuses and extra’s and takes the fall for the cash flow leaving his most important staff to enjoy the trappings of such wealth…..imagine that.

    Does god pay income tax?

  • sh3baproject

    @3 are you implying he has actually read the bible?

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    Creflo Dollar: All my base are belong to God.

  • John Pieret

    sh3baproject:

    Sometimes my tongue gets seriously stuck in my cheek …

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001345954729 Gwynnyd

    Just to be on the safe side – to make sure that god’s money is only being used for things god wants it to be – there should not be a problem with making it be a two-signature account with Creflo as one signer and god as the other on every check. Just bring god to the bank and have him sign a signature card. No problem, right?

  • Al Dente

    The money in my pocket is not mine, it’s God’s

    God just lets him use it however he likes.

  • raven

    Why does god need money?

    As the most powerful being in the universe, he can just poof money into existence any time he wants.

    For that matter, instead of buying stuff, he can just poof stuff into existence. Want a new planet with more beaches? No problem, Poof!!!

  • Al Dente

    Didn’t Kent Hovind try the “ain’t my money, it’s God’s” defense at his tax evasion trial? It appears the IRS and judges take a different view as to who owns the money.

  • mikeym

    For that matter, instead of buying stuff, he can just poof stuff into existence. Want a new planet with more beaches? No problem, Poof!!!

    OTOH, if you prefer fjords to beaches, you should ask Slartibartfast, instead.

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    Creflo Dollar, who is widely reported to be worth an estimated $27 million, has declared that “there is no such thing as the prosperity gospel”

    Not the gospel part anyway.

  • http://helives.blogspot.com heddle

    there is no such thing as the prosperity gospel, it’s the gospel of grace.

    That, stand-alone, is absolutely correct. Now if the dipshit behaved as if he meant it all would be dandy.

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    This shit gets better and better:

    I can dream as long as I want to. I can believe God as long as I want to. If I want to believe God for a $65 million plane, you cannot stop me. You cannot stop me from dreaming. You can’t stop me from dreaming. I’m gon’ dream until Jesus comes […]

    If you think a $65 million plane was too much, if they discover that there’s life on Mars, they gon’ need to hear the Gospel and I’m gon have to believe God for a $1 billion space shuttle because we got to preach the Gospel on Mars. I dare you to tell me I can’t dream. I dare you to tell me I can’t believe God […]

    http://thegrio.com/2015/04/22/creflo-dollar-response-jet-fundraiser/

  • grumpyoldfart

    This bad publicity might frighten a few of the more timid members of his flock, but the vast majority will actually put a bit more than usual on the collection plate next Sunday.

    They work it out like this: If Creflo is a con-man then I have been a fool for giving him money all these years. But I am not a fool ( therefore Creflo is not a con-man ) so I was right all along when I gave him my money. In fact I’ll give him a little more this week, just to prove that I’m on his side.

  • kenn

    “the televangelist con man”

    Is there any other kind of televangelist?

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    “I throw all the money up in the air, and the lord takes what he wants and I keep the rest.”

    Anyone reading this blog who hasn’t seen the “Marjoe” documentary: I highly recommend it.

  • Crudely Wrott

    All the money is God’s, Creflo? Really?

    Well, then, you should show the strength of your faith to it and to your flock as well as to the rest of the world.

    Might I suggest offering up a burnt offering?

    I’m sure that it would dearly love the sweet smell of your money wafting up into the sky.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    “When we talk about prosperity, and people say it’s the prosperity gospel, there is no such thing as the prosperity gospel, it’s the gospel of grace…”

    I’ve heard libertarians say shit like this when some blather-point of theirs gets debunked: “That’s not libertarianism, true libertarianism is something totally different from what this or that libertarian just said that you just debunked!”

    If it quacks like a bogus self-serving religious con-game…

  • dingojack

    My Dear Creflo – The Istituto per le Opere di Religione called – God wants his money back

    (He’s not going to turn you into the police for theft – he’s got some braver punishments in mind for you).

    Dingo

  • slc1

    Ah, Raging Bee just can’t resist taking a shot at libertarians, even though Creflo isn’t one.