Wiles: God May Shoot Giant Fireball at Us Over Gay Marriage

Every wingnut in the world, it seems, is warning us that God will punish the United States severely if the Supreme Court overturns state bans on same-sex marriage, but none of them will say specifically what will happen. The deranged Rick Wiles will at least say it will have something to do with fire, the holy spirit told him.

According to Right Wing Watch, Rick Wiles had very bad news for Mat Staver of Liberty Counsel on his “Trunews” program yesterday, saying “If the Supreme Court dares to defy Almighty God one more time, I’m telling you it will be the last time.”

“I believe I am speaking under the unction of the Holy Spirit,” Wiles explained in a perfectly reasonable tone. “I’m telling you there will be swift, sudden and devastating consequences for the United States of America. America will be brought to its knees, there will be pain and suffering at a level we’ve never seen in this country.”

“The word that I hear in my spirit is ‘fire.’ I do not know if it refers to riots or looting or war on American soil or a fireball from space. I simply know that a sweeping, consuming fire will come across the United States of America and this country will be charred and burned.”

I’m voting for the fireball from space. That would be awesome.

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POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • John Pieret

    Well, after 4 years of drought, the fire season in the west could be pretty bad …

  • colnago80

    I’m surprised the whackjobs aren’t blaming the riots in Baltimore on same sex marriage.

  • http://www.electricminstrel.com Brett McCoy
  • StevoR

    LOL! Classic.

    So .. Deep cover Liberal revealed then?

  • StevoR

    Wonder if Wiles is just smart enough to have heard of the El Nino effect we’re experiencing according to NOAA and understood the implications of what that means in terms of droughts, heatwaves and, yes, mighty big and potentially really devastating forest fires ..

  • robertfaber

    From Genesis 18, the part every wingnut in America seems to skip:

    Abraham Pleads for Sodom

    16 When the men got up to leave, they looked down toward Sodom, and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way. 17 Then the Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do? 18 Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him.[a] 19 For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”

    20 Then the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.”

    22 The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the Lord.[b] 23 Then Abraham approached him and said: “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? 24 What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare[c] the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? 25 Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”

    26 The Lord said, “If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.”

    27 Then Abraham spoke up again: “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes, 28 what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city for lack of five people?”

    “If I find forty-five there,” he said, “I will not destroy it.”

    29 Once again he spoke to him, “What if only forty are found there?”

    He said, “For the sake of forty, I will not do it.”

    30 Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What if only thirty can be found there?”

    He answered, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.”

    31 Abraham said, “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?”

    He said, “For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it.”

    32 Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?”

    He answered, “For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it.”

    33 When the Lord had finished speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham returned home.

    So God doesn’t destroy a place for its sodomy as long as there is a tiny fraction of people who are righteous? Whew. With so many wingnuts declaring America to be a Chrisitan nation, I’m pretty sure we’ve met the threshold, and they should kindly shut the fuck up.

  • colnago80

    Re Brett McCoy @ #3

    Boy, was I asleep at the switch. Brayton blogged about this asshole the other day.

    http://goo.gl/yN8Cwu

  • caseloweraz

    @Robertfaber:

    I think they’re using the Conservative Bible, which records verse 33 as follows:

    When the Lord had finished speaking with Abraham, he turned to leave. But Abraham called out to him, saying, Wilt thou spare it for five righteous people? Then the Lord became wroth, and He declared, Enough, pesky patriarch! The deal’s off. I will only spare the city if a majority of its people follow my law. And Abraham returned home dejected.

  • caseloweraz

    By the way:

    20 Then the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.”

    This does not sound like omniscience to me.

  • wreck

    ““The word that I hear in my spirit is ‘fire.’ I do not know if it refers to riots or looting or war on American soil or a fireball from space. I simply know that a sweeping, consuming fire will come across the United States of America and this country will be charred and burned.”

    I think he’s worried about the country being overrun by flaming gayhomos.

  • dugglebogey

    These wingnuts really want somebody to shoot their something all over them, that’s for sure.

  • http://www.facebook.com/DocMonkey mickwright

    I’m voting fireball, too, particularly a five-mile-wide Hadouken, since their god is down, right, fierce.

    …And in a lifetime of good-natured naughtiness, that joke is the first thing I’ve ever felt the need to actually repent for.

  • StevoR

    @10. Wreck : A literal flambe Alaska then maybe?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baked_Alaska#Variations

    After all, it combines fire and spitit and America .. what aPallin prospect eh?

    Or maybe its Gods way o’ tellin’ him that his side of homophobic hatred is just being shot down in flames ..

  • StevoR

    Or maybe god ‘s tellin’ ‘im to lighten up and have a fireball cinnamon whisky (http (double dots) // en (dot) wikipedia (dot) org/ wiki / Fireball_Cinnamon_Whisky )

    Incidentally, astronomically speaking, mere fireballs by definition burn up and are just spectacular sources of awe and wonder and joy in the sky.

    Meteorite and bolide impacts OTOH, those you need to worry about! Just ask the residents of Chelyabinsk – what did they do? Oh yeah, Russia is fucking homophobic and they got all the big impacts wa-aay back to Tunguska and Sikhote-Alin. I wonder what the message may be there?

    As for the dinosaurs , boy must they ever have been gay! Course god tookhis sweet time smitin’ ’em -only hundreds of millions of years! 😉

  • grumpyoldfart

    He’s just poking fun at his audience. Seeing how far he can push the silly buggers before they cry “Enough.” And all the while laughing at their imbecilic gullibility.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    God May Shoot Giant Fireball at Us

    Sure enough, it rose in the East this morning, about 6:00am.

  • Larry

    A whole lot of people will have some ‘splainin to do when nothing happens.

  • vmanis1

    The conclusion is obvious. God hates the US much more than Canada.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    He’s got a point. As I keep saying, “Remember what happened to Canada”.

  • blf

    I’m voting for the fireball from space.

    Well, the out-of-control ISS supply mission Progress M27-M should be reentering the Earth’s atmosphere in about a week’s time — fall zone unknown — so there may indeed be some fireworks. Little-to-no debris is expected to survive / land, however, so fireworks’s about all that is anticipated. Very unimpressive for angry sky faeries.

  • sugarfrosted

    God cast missile into the darkness. It misses and hits a church in Oklahoma.

  • Chiroptera

    Okay, so now the wingnuts have moved away from thinking the real world is an episode of Superfriends and now think we live in a video game?

  • tbp1

    Doesn’t God, being all omniscient and stuff, already know the outcome and what, if anything, he will do in response?

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    I think the “fire” he feels in his spirit is probably hemorrhoids.

  • peterh

    @ #24:

    Well, he claims to be “under an unction,” which is a salve or palliative . . . . .

  • mithrandir

    God cast missile into the darkness. It misses and hits a church in Oklahoma.

    I guess the darkness must have some pretty high spell resistance.

  • dingojack

    What? God’s going to torch ‘Touchdown Jesus’ — again?!?

    Dingo

    ———

    Wasn’t Donald Sutherland’s portrayal of the Christian god in Backdraft fantastic?

    Such masterful understatement. @@

  • vereverum
  • anubisprime

    Bit late on the prediction stakes, seems that Russia has already met the lord thy gawd’ and Wiles info is so last year…

    perverts tremble everywhere

    That must be something to do with Russian well known support and encouragement for same sex marriage and the LGBT community in general….that will show ’em…and that nancy boy Putin!

  • http://healthvsmedicine.blogspot.com cervantes

    Rather odd that the many European countries in which same sex marriage is legal have yet to be destroyed.

  • dingojack

    Luckily god will be just shooting ‘a fireball’ this time; in the 1860’s it was the comin’ of the lawd!

    {then there weren’t napkins enow}

    Dingo

  • chris69

    I would be much more worried about god sending “Spaceballs” our way.