The Latest Wingnut GoFundMe Account

It seems the Christian right is just loving GoFundMe. The latest one to put up a fundraiser on the site is Susan Hemeryck, the woman who tore down a Satanic display at the Florida state capitol in Tallahassee. She wants people to give her lots of money so she can continue to fight Satan:

My name is Susan Hemeryck, and I was arrested in Tallahassee, Florida on December 23, 2014 for standing against Satan when he tried to stake his claim on Christmas and in our State Capitol. His followers, members of The Satanic Temple, attacked Christianity and desecrated our holy celebration of Christ’s birth by placing a “grossly offensive” satanic display in the same spot where the Nativity had been removed just hours earlier. Children coming to the Capitol on Christmas Eve hoping see baby Jesus saw only Satan instead. The Satanic Temple is also trying to place satanic books in Florida public schools and a life-size statue of Satan in Oklahoma.

The charges against me were dropped, but the Satanists are threatening retaliation for next Christmas, and they are also moving forward with their agenda to entrench Satan in America’s government halls and in our public schools. This is a hate group, whose actions can be compared to the Nazis displaying a swastika at Hanukkah, or the KKK erecting a burning cross on Martin Luther King day.

The public expression of our Judeo-Christian faith is part of our American heritage, because it is upon these principles that America and her Constitution were founded. Not only is it wrong for an atheistic and/or satanic minority to attempt to impose its values upon the faithful majority, it is deadly dangerous for us to allow Satan a place in our public square. Our nation is already walking in darkness; once we let Satan in, unopposed, we will not be able to shut the door against the evil which follows. This is a line we cannot cross. NOT NOW, NOT EVER!!

I lost my home and my job because I took a stand against this evil, and I need a little help with personal living expenses. I also have a wonderful attorney, Michael Bauer, who has stood by me through all of this, and we need your help in taking the next step in our efforts to legally keep Satan out of our Capitols and out of our schools. Won’t you please help us to stand firm and hold the line against Satan? By the grace of God, and with your prayers and support, let’s cast Satan out of America and back where he belongs!

She’s raised almost $3000 in a week. Speaks volumes about this country, don’t you think?

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Chiroptera

    …a “grossly offensive” satanic display….

    Funny thing is, if I were writing about that incident, I’d use quote marks there, too.

    (Even if I were writing, I’d probably lift my hands off the keyboard and make the exaggerated quote mark motion with my fingers while rolling my eyes.)

  • http://atheist-faq.com Jasper of Maine

    The thing says:

    Satan howls loudest when he hurts…we must be doing some good!

    I really do loathe this reasoning, no matter who does it (I hear it from our side occasionally)… that if the other side is complaining, that means you’re doing something right.

    How can that not be applied to a range of bad things? “Our slaves are complaining that we’re enslaving them, so we must be doing good!”

  • Larry

    Late in her life, she has apparently discovered her true calling as a grifter. All through the power of jebus! Can I have an amen?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1360322113 aaronbaker

    $3000.00 in a week? Down with Satan!

  • Ichthyic

    “The charges against me were dropped, ”

    why?

  • hunter

    It took her a whole week to raise $3000? Someone dropped the ball.

  • jahigginbotham

    Did she really lose her job (what was it?) and home? I can’t find any info on that and hesitate to take her word.

  • caseloweraz

    I think she did, but well before her protest in Tallahassee.

  • caseloweraz

    Hemeryck: The Satanic Temple is also trying to place satanic books in Florida public schools and a life-size statue of Satan in Oklahoma.

    How big is a “life-size” statue of Satan? I thought he was a spirit. Also, according to that Doctor Who episode, Satan (or a being who looks like the popular conception of Satan) is about a hundred feet tall.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    $3000 shows me that most Americans like porn and cheeseburgers a lot more than they are scared of the prince of darkness.

  • http://www.stupiddinosaurlies.org/ OwossoHarpist

    “I’m a harpist who’s trying to raise funds to buy a concert harp. Can you help me?”

    *crickets*

    “Help! I’m persecuted! Send me money!” or “I’m at war with Satan! Send me Money!”

    *huge mass flood of cash coming in*

    A whole lot of wrong to this scenario! Should be the other way around!

  • Pierce R. Butler

    … a “grossly offensive” satanic display in the same spot where the Nativity had been removed just hours earlier.

    Except that it hadn’t, and the person who had set up and maintained the Christian nativity display very graciously expressed gratitude for the Satanic display having brought more people to the Capitol who saw her manger scene as well.

  • dugglebogey

    Lets all get together and start a christian based go-fund-me web site. Like christianmingle, but for these “victims of discrimination” to use. Is that a billion dollar idea or what?

  • blf

    a life-size statue of Satan in Oklahoma.

    How big is a “life-size” statue of Satan?

    With a bit of luck, big enough to cover all of Oklahoma. It believe it is to be installed Monty Python cartoon foot style, with a nice resounding SPLAT!

  • John Pieret

    She’s raised almost $3000 in a week. Speaks volumes about this country, don’t you think?

    Hey, that pizza place got $800,000 in a few days. The bloom may be off this rose.

  • Randomfactor

    Like that pizza parlor’s jackpot…you can always count on the generosity of gullible bigots, bless their low-information pointy heads.

  • lldayo

    How dare this perfectly capable person ask for handouts instead of getting a job! As a right winger she’s kind of being hypocritical in regards to the whole anti-welfare movement. I’ll bet she doesn’t record the $3000 as income for tax purposes either.

  • Michael Heath

    lldayo writes:

    How dare this perfectly capable person ask for handouts instead of getting a job! As a right winger she’s kind of being hypocritical in regards to the whole anti-welfare movement.

    Well, if she keeps Satan away then she’s performed her advertised service. Validating services were effectively rendered; now that’s going to be tough.

  • Moon Jaguar

    How big is a “life-size” statue of Satan?

    Interestingly, it’s exactly as tall as Ted Cruz.

  • petemoulton

    Thanks for the chuckle, Moon Jaguar!

  • matty1

    Tell me more about these Judeo Christian nativity displays. Do many synagogues have them

  • Lady Mondegreen

    Children coming to the Capitol on Christmas Eve hoping see baby Jesus saw only Satan instead.

    I can’t stop grinning at this.

  • rietpluim

    @Jasper of Maine #2 – Satan howls loudest when he hurts. Yeah, and we’re supposed to believe that Susan Hemeryck is not hurt at all.

  • dcsohl

    The right-wing loves to wale on the social net, saying that it encourages dependence on the government. Funny how they have nothing to say about sentiments like this one:

    Children coming to the Capitol on Christmas Eve hoping see baby Jesus saw only Satan instead.

    That’s some serious governmental dependence there, if a government office is the place you go expecting to see Jesus and not, say, a church.