Jennifer LeClaire Identifies the Evil Spirits of May

Jennifer LeClaire, editor of Charisma News, really cracks me up. She just casually rattles off some of the most ridiculous nonsense as if it were just obvious to all. Like this column, where she says that demonic activity increases in the month of May and explains why.

Every year between Lent and Resurrection Day, Jezebel’s witchcrafts wreak havoc on believers and unbelievers alike. After Resurrection Day, the spiritual climate clears up—until May.

If you live in a region where false Mary worship is rising, you’ll notice that Jezebel’s witchcrafts rise again in May. That’s because of the traditional “May Crowning” ritual that takes place to honor the Virgin Mary as “the Queen of May.”

Essentially, this means there is a hyper focus on devotions to Mary. There are two problems with this. First, Mary doesn’t want or expect our devotion—she wants and expects us to worship the Son of God, Jesus. Second, by treating Mary as an idol we’re empowering the spirit of Jezebel…

The Bible talks about Jezebel and her witchcrafts (2 Kings 9:22). The spirit of Jezebel is the same as Asherah (also known as Ashtoreth). The Old Testament Jezebel’s father, Ethbal, was the high priest of the goddess Ashtoreth, the queen of heaven. Can you connect the dots? Mary is not the queen of May, but Jesus is the king of Kings. If we’re going to build an altar to anyone, it should be to our Lord and Savior, not His earthly mother.

I’ll leave you with this: Witchcraft can cause you to grow weary in well-doing and even faint if you don’t know what you are dealing with—and how to battle it.

And what happens when she gets weary? Try a little tenderness.

"Okay ... what's a Journey?I get it a band but ...Maybe someone could him a ..."

Paula White and Jim Bakker, Together ..."
"Nope. I **WANT** them stupid and willing to be in others' faces.Makes it shooting fish ..."

Cernovich: Charlottesville was Government Plot to ..."
Follow Us!
POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • wreck

    “Can you connect the dots?”

    I did. And they spelled WHACKALOON.

  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    May Day celebrations aren’t approved by Charisma News?

    Shocked! Shocked I am to see prudery in that establishment!

  • blf

    false Mary worship

    (1) What is false Mary worship?

    (2) What is true (as in not-false) Mary worship?

    (3) WTF, for that matter, is “Mary worship“?

    (4) Or indeed, what or whatever is the “Mary” that can be worshipped?

    Citations needed!

  • donkensler

    blf @ #3

    Catholics of course! Agents of Satan they are I tell ya! With all the nicey-nice protestant fundies are showing towards catholics these days, it’s refreshing to see someone who can let her catholic-hating freak flag fly

  • Kengi

    Astrology for Christians…

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    @blf

    One of the many disagreements between Protestants and Catholics is how they regard Jesus’ mother. The Catholics raise her to the level of a saint or greater. This chaps the fundy’s collective asses. LeClaire is appealing to anti-Catholic sentiment with a dog whistle by referring to “false Mary worship.”

    That whole screed had me imagining LeClaire standing in front of a green-screen weather map, with demon isobars and little imp icons. “It looks like there’s a high witchcraft front settling into eastern Oklahoma. Folks there should put on an extra layer of demon-screen and stay indoors as much as possible.”

  • Nemo

    I like how she avoids using the word “Easter”.

  • raven

    Can you connect the dots?

    Sure, no problem.

    Jennifer LeClaire is a babbling idiot.

    She is making up most of this, taking isolated quotes from the magic book and making them into stories. IIRC, Jezebel was just a human and has been dead for 2500 years. Even by the low fundie xian standards, there is no such thing as Jezebel’s spirit.

    She might mean demons or satan, the all purpose fundie xian explanations for everything. It’s so confusing, you need an interpreter from FundieSpeak to English.

  • blf

    donkensler & ArtK, I am well aware of the non-existent Mr Carpenterson’s non-existent mother, allegedly named “Mary”, as being treated differently in different cults. The point I was trying to illuminate was the fictional nature of the story, its not-relevant points, and whole absurdity of the claims.

  • Erp

    “between Lent and Resurrection Day”

    Does she even know that Lent ends just before Easter (either the Thursday before or the day before depending on which Western liturgical church tradition she is using)?

  • StevoR

    Well the “May Queen” does have powerful friends in a Led Zeppelin :

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHFxncb1gRY

  • raven

    I’ll leave you with this: Witchcraft can cause you to grow weary in well-doing and even faint if you don’t know what you are dealing with—and how to battle it.

    Is that all?

    In times past, witchcraft could turn people into frogs and all sorts of truly dramatic other things. Call lightning bolts from the sky. Whither crops. Spin straw into gold. Cure the sick. Elect Republicans. Making people weary is so pathetic, it doesn’t even cross the line into supernatural powers.

    I got weary just trying to figure out what Jennifer LeClaire was saying.

    ….and how to battle it (witchcraft).

    This usually means sending money to the xian Wizard of your choice, i.e. Televangelists, etc.. I’m sure Jennifer LeClaire would like to help you battle witchcraft for a fee.

    I’ll do it for free though. There are no real witches and witchcraft doesn’t work!!!

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Well, as long as she’s being rational about this.

  • dingojack
  • Dunc

    May Day celebrations aren’t approved by Charisma News?

    Shocked! Shocked I am to see prudery in that establishment!

    I’d love to see their reactions to how we celebrate the start of May here in Edinburgh: with a gigantic pagan fire festival. (I’ve chosen a video which doesn’t seem to feature any obvious nudity. Which was something of a challenge…)

  • anubisprime

    The dumbfucks that believe in this crap deserve her.

  • StevoR

    @raven : But .. it turned me into a newt!

    .. I got better.

  • raven

    Encyclopedia of American Loons:

    And to emphasize, LeClaire is not just your standard bigot. LeClaire is incoherently insane, in the manner of Cindy Jacobs, and appears to believe that she actually physically engages with demons and their black witchcraft out to get her for her faith, just like in the documentary The Exorcist.

    There clearly is something wrong with LeClaire. For a writer, she can’t write anything understandable without putting it through Google Translator.

    AFAICT, she uses terms like “jezebel’s spirit”, gay spirit, spirit of gayness, spirit of science, etc.. because using demons and satan makes her sound even crazier.

    She lives in a dark and murky world where satan and demons are everywhere doing stuff that she doesn’t like. Voting Democrat, having fun, going to parties, enjoying life, spending time with friends, family, and pets. While not worrying about demons, satan, witchcraft, Space Reptiles, Orcs, fairies, Elves, or Sauron.

    Apparently in LeClaire’s world, you are supposed to spend your time afraid of invisible entities who are always attacking you. This is just primitive superstition, something straight out of 3,000 years ago or so.

  • dingojack

    Dunc – this is how we do it… sorry no nudity here either, just some middle-aged men in sensible plaid skirts…

    :) Dingo

  • John Pieret

    Gee, I wonder where theDukedog is. He seemed quite upset when I raised this before.

  • John Pieret

    As an ex-mackerel snapper myself, I never got the impression then that we were “worshiping” her but “veneration,” I suppose, can look like that. It is a timely reminder to the “Christians” that are wingnuts and have temporarily banded together in wingnut causes, such as abortion and anti-gayness, that the long knives are hidden just inches away if they succeed in trashing the Constitution.

  • Michael Heath

    The circular argument that the Bible is the inerrant word of God because the Bible says so opens up the door to all sorts of absurd arguments by all biblical inerrantists, not just the Charismatics.

  • dingojack

    JP – I think Dog is stuck behind Jon-Jon is the “getting one’s ass gift-wrapped before it’s handed back to you” queue. He could be a while, Jon-Jon’s almost a total ass…

    Dingo

  • Broken Things

    I’ll leave you with this: Witchcraft can cause you to grow weary in well-doing and even faint if you don’t know what you are dealing with—and how to battle it.

    And all this time I thought it was Republicans.

  • llewelly

    raven:

    Apparently in LeClaire’s world, you are supposed to spend your time afraid of invisible entities who are always attacking you. This is just primitive superstition, something straight out of 3,000 years ago or so.

    That’s right! In these enlightened modern times, we take a rational approach to our fears, and address them with sophisticated policies such as the Patriot Act …

  • frankgturner

    Is LeClaire the same nut who years ago was telling people not to read or watch the Harry Potter novels because they promote witchcraft? (I loved hearing JK Rowling respond that it was just entertaining fiction and that the accussor needed to read the disclaimer).

    .

    Typical wingnut not being able to distinguish fiction from reality. Heard this song and dance before. (We all know the steps to this line dance ever so popular at right wing clubs, it’s more popular than the Electric Slide!).

  • gardengnome

    “First, Mary doesn’t want or expect our devotion”

    No, she knows her place in the christian family heirarchy…

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com WMDKitty — Survivor

    Witchcraft can cause you to grow weary…and faint

    Yeah, when you really get in to the rituals, during the warm months, it can be exhausting and dehydrating. An experienced witch keeps a LOT of drinks on hand…

  • billyeager

    Oh wow, the comments section over there is . . .well it appears mainly to be about vociferously arguing over how many angels can fit on the head of a pin kinda deal.

    As for the article:

    See an error in this article? Send us a correction

    Ummm, well, where would I begin?

  • busterggi

    “the goddess Ashtoreth, the queen of heaven”

    Things haven’t been right since she dumped Yahweh for being a total dick.

  • eric

    Why would they rise in May when the celebration is on the 1st? Wouldn’t the demonic activity culminate at the festival?

    I can’t help thinking that this is not only anti-Catholic but also anti-European socialist. While the US doesn’t celebrate May day, many other countries do and the celebrations can be linked to honoring workers.