Klingenschmitt Warns Against Smoking the Devil’s Weed

Our old friend Gordon Klingenschmitt, who lives in Colorado where growing, smoking and selling marijuana is completely legal warned the handful of people who watch his ragtag internet “TV show” against smoking pot because they’ll be “devoured by the devil.”

Colorado state Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt is not pleased that voters in his state voted in 2012 to legalize marijuana, telling “Pray In Jesus Name” viewers this week that people who use pot are inviting “a demonic spirit of drunkenness” into their bodies.

“When you begin hallucinating, I’m told, and you begin seeing these images,” he said, “you’re having apparitions and you are seeing and interacting with and welcoming to rule your heart a demonic spirit of drunkenness. That’s not recreational. It’s evil.”

Klingenschmitt said that before using pot, one should ask oneself: “Do you really want to be devoured by the devil?”

For a lot of people, Gordon, I suspect smoking pot is the only way they can listen to your perpetual idiocy without losing their minds.

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  • bbgunn

    That man sure can harsh a mellow.

  • John Pieret

    When you begin hallucinating

    You mean like when you think God is talking to you?

  • Artor

    I wonder what weed Dr. Chaps is smoking? Mine has never made me hallucinate. I rely on LSD for that.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Back when i had my growth spirt, my parents called me Devil’s Weed. The courts did, too, but that was later.

  • dingojack

    I’d say his program would be ideal to watch when stoned*. Who would want to watch it straight?

    Dingo

    ———

    * in fact I’d guess a large proportion of his audience are watching stoned, it disinhibits the restraint of the ‘point-and-laugh’ urge

  • http://cycleninja.blogspot.com cycleninja

    Ed, is Republican Party of Colorado still trying to get him yanked from office?

  • erichoug

    I am so sick and tired of getting lied to about weed. I remember sitting in the gym in 7th grade, in Katy Texas, and listening to the shaved ape with a speech impediment that they had teaching health class tell us the most ridiculous things about weed.

    “Weed is 100% addictive.”, “Once you start smoking weed, Guaranteed you will end up a criminal junkie robbing your grandparents at gunpoint”, “One Marajuana cigarette has more cancer causing material than 100 packs of cigarettes.”

    I have never smoked weed in my entire life, seriously not even once, but I am STRONGLY in favor of legalization and normalization. Mainly because I don’t like being lied to.

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    I’m surprised he isn’t claiming that patriotic county sheriff have the authority to arrest people for pot possession in contravention of state law, because Constitution.

  • Die Anyway

    “smoking the devil’s weed”… sounds like a euphemism for a BJ.

  • marcus

    dingo @ 5 I think I might prefer a little B B King instead.

    The King is dead, long live his legacy. A great man has passed.

  • Michael Heath

    cycleninja writes:

    Ed, is Republican Party of Colorado still trying to get him yanked from office?

    Just the opposite. They quietly restated his committee assignment: http://www.colorado.gov/cs/Satellite/CGA-LegislativeCouncil/CLC/1251634987731.

  • Donnie

    For a lot of people, Gordon, I suspect smoking pot is the only way they can listen to your perpetual idiocy without losing their minds.

    sounds like a great ‘Kids in the Hall’ youtube skit.

    1. Get your friends together

    2. Get some pot

    3. Hook up a camera

    4. Put on Gordo’s show

    5. YouTube yourself watching his show and making comedy gold comments about Gordo’s stupidity while getting high

    .

    .

    .

    99. Profit!

  • Michael Heath

    erichoug writes:

    I remember sitting in the gym in 7th grade, in Katy Texas, and listening to the shaved ape with a speech impediment that they had teaching health class tell us the most ridiculous things about weed.

    “Weed is 100% addictive.”, “Once you start smoking weed, Guaranteed you will end up a criminal junkie robbing your grandparents at gunpoint”, “One Marajuana cigarette has more cancer causing material than 100 packs of cigarettes.”

    When Andrew Sullivan was blogging, one of his regular themes was to feature high functioning humans who smoked MJ.

    Of course these anecdotes don’t prove that regularly smoking MJ is harmless or even beneficial. But it does falsify the claim that MJ always causes ruin.

    The biggest related lie I recall was that Bob Marley died of brain cancer because he smoked dope.

    Instead he died from skin cancer where he was at much higher risk then normal because: he was half-white, lived in a sunny climate where he spent much of life outdoors, didn’t protect his skin from the sun, and chose not get aggressively treated once his toe was diagnosed with a particularly malignant type.

  • abb3w

    He seems to be confusing cannabis sativa for datura stramonium.

    I had an anthropology professor who had quite a lot of experience with psychotropics from his graduate fieldwork (and reportedly later). He taught a class on Carlos Castaneda’s work which was popular with stoners and people wanting a fairly easy A. He tended to give a little cautionary speech about various popular drugs — marijuana being mellow and adding nice flavor to brownies but being hell on your motivation, LSD being great colors when taken but hard to find reliably, shrooms tasting terrible and the trip probably not worth the hassle, tobacco being underrated both mystically and as a cancer hazard, cocaine and heroin being a heck of a ride but nasty to get off from, and so on.

    He consistently concluded with “But whatever you do, do not fuck with the Devil’s Weed. Castenada lived through it, but you probably won’t.” Apparently, datura is nasty stuff.

  • marcus

    Donnie @ 12 I had a friend who was in “Kids in the Hall”. They actually did something very similar. They would video-tape old movies and variety shows shows and do voice-overs, hilarious. They would have had a field-day with Brother Chaps.

  • eric

    Devil went down to Boulder, he was looking for some weed to smoke.

    It’d been a while since that demon vile had had himself a good toke.

    When he came across this young man, rolling a doobie nice and stiff

    And the Devil jumped up on a bristle pine stump and said, “Boy let’s gamble for that spliff

    You probably didn’t know it but I’m a weed smoker too

    And if you care to take a dare I’ll just make a bet with you”

    “Now you roll a pretty good fattie , boy, but give the Devil his due

    I’ll bet a fine kilo against your soul I can roll a fattie better than you”

    Sticky icky in the Rockies, go boys go

    The Devil’s been seen with Ralphie the Buffalo

    Students in the forests picking at weed

    Klinghoffer’s mind has gone to seed

  • busterggi

    Genesis 1:11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.

    1:12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

    1:29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

    So Yahweh was a lying hound according to the first book of the bible.

  • marcus

    Eric FTW!

  • dingojack

    So who invented bananas?

    Checkmate Yahweh!

    Dingo

  • carpenterman

    ‘… a friend of the devil is a friend of mine…”

    Satan always gets the best weed.

  • Die Anyway

    No stems, no seeds,

    That you don’t need.

    Acapulco Gold is…

    Bad ass weed!

  • Lady Mondegreen

    He consistently concluded with “But whatever you do, do not fuck with the Devil’s Weed. Castenada lived through it, but you probably won’t.” Apparently, datura is nasty stuff.

    abb3w, I think your professor confused Casteneda with Wade Davis. Casteneda used peyote.

  • Lady Mondegreen

    Whatever it is Klingenschmitt’s smoking–I’ll pass, thanks.

  • Lady Mondegreen

    Castaneda, that is.

  • dingojack

    Fruity Gordo’s smoking Carlos Castaneda?!?

    *Whew* that’s some strong shit!

    😉 Dingo

  • thebookofdave

    Gordo, shorter version: Demon weed gives Satan the munchies.

  • abb3w

    @22, Lady Mondegreen

    abb3w, I think your professor confused Casteneda with Wade Davis. Casteneda used peyote.

    That seems unlikely.

    Castenada’s acquaintance with Don Juan was accountedly started by trying to find out about Peyote, but most of Castenada’s own described experiences largely involved use of Datura, and Don Juan himself apparently preferred some manner of psilocybin mushrooms. Excerpt from The Teachings of Don Juan:

    Don Juan used, separately and on different occasions, three hallucinogenic plants: peyote (Lophophora williamsii), Jimson weed (Datura inoxia syn. D. meteloides), and a mushroom (possibly Psilocybe mexicana). Since before their contact with Europeans, American Indians have known the hallucinogenic properties of these three plants. Because of their properties, the plants have been widely employed for pleasure, for curing, for witchcraft, and for attaining a state of ecstasy. In the specific context of his teachings, don Juan related the use of Datura inoxia and Psilocybe mexicana to the acquisition of power, a power he called an ‘ally’. He related the use of Lophophora williamsii to the acquisition of wisdom, or the knowledge of the right way to live.

    Peyote was the first one used, but with minimal shamanic and ceremonial trappings — more as a test of character than a ritual. Much of the first book and almost all of the later books focus on the other two, with considerable ritual elements. Another excerpt:

    In don Juan’s teachings, there were two allies. The first was contained in the Datura plants commonly known as jimson weed. Don Juan called that ally by one of the Spanish names of the plant, yerba del diablo (devil’s weed). According to him any species of Datura was the container of the ally. Yet every sorcerer had to grow a patch of one species which he called his own, not only in the sense that the plants were his private property, but in the sense that they were personally identified with him.

    Don Juan’s own plants belonged to the species inoxia; there seemed to be no correlation, however, between that fact and differences that may have existed between the two species of Datura accessible to him.

    The second ally was contained in a mushroom I identified as belonging to the genus Psilocybe; it was possibly Psilocybe mexicana, but the classification was only tentative because I was incapable of procuring a specimen for laboratory analysis.

    Of course, there’s considerable debate as to how much of Castenada’s work was merely the product of his own imagination, and even whether the entirety was an academic fraud. As such, I can’t exactly recommend reading it for yourself. Still, if you’ve time to kill, it’s usually not hard to turn up a copy at a used bookstore; or you can page through the portions available on Google Books and via Amazon.com preview to verify for yourself how accurate my characterization of the work is.