Donald Trump: New Messiah for Christians

Fake “journalist” David Brody of the Christian Broadcasting Network did an interview with Donald Trump, in which Trump declared himself to the champion of Christians everywhere. And along the way, he repeated the same ridiculous lie he told at the Iowa National Security Action Summit (without challenge from Brody, of course).

David Brody: Conservative Christians are concerned about the deterioration of this culture. They are concerned about the marriage issue. What is your message to them on religious liberty and on religious freedom? What are your thoughts about that? What is your message to them specifically?

Donald Trump: Well, it’s a very big message. As you know, I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. Most people don’t know that. They have no idea. I’m proud of it. I’m very proud of it.

One of the things I learned this weekend being in Iowa, I met with a lot of national security experts and everything else, that if you’re a Christian living in Syria you can’t come into this country. Yet, if you are a Muslim living in Syria, who are not under attack, they can come in.

But we have Christians being beheaded all over the world by ISIS. In Syria and in Iraq, in particular, those Christians can’t come into this country.

You say what you want but this is really something. That’s a lack of respect for us. If you’re a Muslim, you can come into the country very easy. If you’re from Europe and you’re a Muslim, you can come in. But if you are from Europe and you’re a Christian you can’t come in…meaning it’s almost impossible.

Except that’s all total bullshit. There is nothing preventing Christians from Syria or Iraq from getting refugee status in the United States, any more than any other group. We don’t grant asylum to nearly enough refugees, but it has nothing to do with whether they’re Muslim or Christian. He didn’t “learn” that in Iowa, he swallowed a lie and continues to repeat it.

The Christians are being treated horribly because we have nobody to represent the Christians. Believe me, if I run and I win, I will be the greatest representative of the Christians they’ve had in a long time.

Well there you go, Christians. You’ve been waiting for your savior to return and he’s right there. Who would have guessed Jesus would come back as a thrice-married buffoon who trades his wives in for younger models every 10-15 years and has the worst combover in the known universe?

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Nemo

    What is your message to them on religious liberty and on religious freedom?

    So… those are two different things?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Imagine his surprise when they turn on him after they realize he’s advocating for allowing swarthy foreigners in to the country.

  • raven

    If that is the best the xians can do, they are well and truly doomed.

    And oddly enough, Donald Trump is a huge improvement on the usual vaguely humanoid toad fundie xian leaders.

    What does US xianity really need these days? Younger women, older whiskey, and more money. I’m sure their new marketing campaign will be a huge success.

    PS I didn’t know Jesus was into gambling. Hmmm, maybe he was a more interesting god than I thought. They might as well put slot machines into all their churches.

  • some bastard on the internet

    Nemo @1

    What is your message to them on religious liberty and on religious freedom?

    So… those are two different things?

    One is when people like Trump can tie a heretic to the pyre. The other is when they are allowed to untie themselves. Not sure which name goes where, but religious fundies want more of the first, and less of the second.

  • carpenterman

    I used to be a Presbyterian. Trump is just one more reason (if any were needed) to never go to church again.

  • Larry

    Isn’t there some sort of biblical law against the wearing of unnatural fibers (on the head)?

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Donald Trump hasn’t set foot in a church since his first wedding.

  • StevoR

    @ ^ sigurd jorsalfar : Really ? How do you -and the rest of us – actually know that?

    Donald Trump: Well, it’s a very big message. As you know, I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. Most people don’t know that. They have no idea. I’m proud of it. I’m very proud of it.

    What? Trump is very proud that people don’t know he belongs to the Protestant, Presbyterian faith? Geez, what a great outspoken champion of religion he must be!

  • StevoR

    The Christians are being treated horribly because we have nobody to represent the Christians.

    Nobody eh? I find that rather incredible – in the literal meaning of those words i.e. not credible or believable at all.

    I wonder what the likes of Rick Perry “Frothymix” Santorum and Huckabee would have to say about that comment?

  • spacejunkie

    He is not the Messiah , he is a very naughty…entitled asshat.

  • StevoR

    @ ^ spacejunkie wins the thread and internets.

    Dammit, why didn’t I think of that one. (Kicks self.)

  • busterggi

    Resurrected from the dead? Well that explains his hair.