Bakker Exploits ISIS Fears to Sell Survival Supplies

In the old days, Jim Bakker scammed his followers by selling them memberships in the resort he built, which landed him in prison for many years. Now he’s out and he’s got a whole new scam: survival supplies. He hosted a conference for preppers last week and did everything he could to sell fear in order to sell supplies:

“So many in the inner-city for some reason hate the police,” Bakker said. “If the police are gone from one day, just suddenly gone, we are going to have anarchy, we are going to have the greatest hell on earth because the gangs will take over. And it’s time to be ready, it’s time to be prepared, it’s time to be informed.”

He added that “the group called ISIS and others have already established themselves in the United States of America and they are waiting for the final signals.” Bakker’s guest, Rick Joyner, confirmed that he had seen such calamities take place in a dream he had, which Bakker pointed to as further proof that people should call in to purchase packets of survivalist food such as macaroni and cheese, veggie burgers, chili and oatmeal.

Gotta love that. “If the police are gone from one day, just suddenly gone” — because that’s totally gonna happen. Maybe they’ll all be raptured. Bakker is still a con man, but he’s now found a legal scam to push.

“Jim Bakker spells his name with two Ks because three would have been too obvious.” — Jeff Stilson

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  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    “So many in the inner-city for some reason hate the police,”

    For SOME reason. I have no idea what that reason could be. I don’t think anyone knows. Just one of life’s great mysteries…

  • Pierce R. Butler

    City police are the ones who keep “the group called ISIS and others” from attacking the USA?

    Then we don’t need those Army/Navy/etc guys any more: tell the Gayspiracy to issue them all pink slips!

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    “Honey, the police are gone.”

    “And the gangs?”

    “They’ve taken over.”

    “And ISIS?”

    “They’ve established themselves in our country.”

    “Well, thank goodness we’ve got all this chili.”

  • kantalope

    ISIS members are known for their ability to hide out in plain site. They are probably in your backyard right now — sneaky bastages.

    Why do ‘urban’ folk hate the police? I forget.

  • karmacat

    ISIS in my backyard? Damn. I thought they were just big rats

  • colnago80

    ISIL in the backyard? Look under the beds.

  • caseloweraz

    Bakker’s guest, Rick Joyner, confirmed that he had seen such calamities take place in a dream he had, which Bakker pointed to as further proof that people should call in to purchase packets of survivalist food such as macaroni and cheese, veggie burgers, chili and oatmeal.

    How irrational is this? Let me count the ways.

    1) If ISIS “established itself” inside our borders, that would be a problem. It would hardly be a calamity, meaning something that is difficult or impossible to handle.

    2) I don’t think the mere presence of ISIS members is the kind of think Bakker and Joyner are hallucinating about. What they imagine has not happened — and it will not happen.

    3) Joyner’s dream isn’t proof of anything other than the fact that Joyner had an apocalyptic dream. Perhaps he overdid the mac and cheese the night before.

    4) Survivalist food packets are what we need to deal with a takeover by ISIS? Not hardly.

    5) I hope these examples are not typical of the selections on offer. Surely things like rice, dried beans, canned fruits and vegetables would make more sense as survival supplies.

    And I’m probably over-analyzing this nonsense.

  • theDukedog7 .

    “Conference for preppers”

    Isn’t that a Global Warming conference?

    Isis Apocalypse, Global Warming Apocalypse, whatever.

    At least ISIS is real. It hasn’t been absent for the last 18 years.

  • theDukedog7 .

    Global Warming psychos calling other people “preppers”.

    :)

    You can’t make this up.

  • Larry

    Hearty home-cooked food

    For when the shit goes down and the burgers at MickeyDs just won’t satisfy and, damn it, you want a home cooked meal like mama used to make when you were in lock down in your backyard fall-out shelter waiting for the Rooskis to launch the big one. And at $1/day per meal, you can’t go wrong.

  • Michael Heath

    Jim Bakker’s becoming famous on the PTL show he and his wife hosted was my introduction to the idiocy of conservative Christians. I was a pre-teen and hard a time accepting how popular he was given his own idiocy. How could such a person be so popular? How could they believe his shit?

    Since then I’ve seen his style not only get amped up, but spread to the Republican party and become a defining attribute of that party’s voting base.

  • theDukedog7 .

    Cost associated with ISIS preppers: packets of mac and cheese, etc.

    Costs associated with Global Warming preppers: $2700 trillion (with a “t”) by 2001.

    https://thespeechatimeforchoosing.wordpress.com/2012/03/28/the-heavy-cost-of-the-global-warming-hoax/

  • theDukedog7 .

    …by 2100.

    All that CO2 is making it hard for me to concentrate.

  • daved

    All that CO2 is making it hard for me to concentrate.

    No, that’d be the voices in your head.

  • theDukedog7 .

    What I love about the loon left is the smug stupidity– just after howling about the earth burning up and polar bears dying and the need to transform the world’s economy and governance according to the fever dreams of a few corrupt scientists, you mock a few silly ISIS preppers.

    And you think you’re not preppers?

    You guys really are a show. Too bad you have already proven, via eugencis, the DDT hoax and the Overpopulation psychosis, that you are capable of killing millions of innocents.

  • colnago80

    Re Egnorance @ #15

    What I love about the loon left is the smug stupidity

    What I like about right wing fascist ratfuckers like Egnorance is the arrogant and ignorant stupidity demonstrated in every blog comment he submits. Just for openers, AGW is a hoax, restriction of DDT use based on a hoax, overpopulation a hoax, evolution a hoax.

    At least the banned Don Williams supplied some levity to this blog and was often good for a laugh with his conspiracy theories. Egnorance’s conspiracy theories are less amusing then AIDS.

  • LightningRose

    $1100 for a years worth of food for two? That’s only $.50 per meal. Maybe I should check it out.

  • theDukedog7 .

    @LightningRose:

    [$1100 for a years worth of food for two? That’s only $.50 per meal. Maybe I should check it out.]

    And with the earth heating up, you won’t even have to cook.

  • busterggi

    Has anyone ever told the people who buy this crap that even the best MRE’s have an expiration date with four years considered a good shelf life?

    Ever eat a stale MRE – trust me, you don’t want to.

  • Rick Pikul

    Ever look up the cost of not dealing with Human Induced Rapid Global Overheating?

    Here’s a hint: What happens when you have a quarter million starving people in China while the only sizable area with improved crop productivity is just over the Russian border? (Chinese government estimates are that a three degree temperature rise will cost them 20-30% of their food production.)

    Here’s another: What happens when Pakistan’s water supply dries up? (Note that most of their water comes from India with the current treaty placing 100% of the impact of flow reductions on Pakistan.)

    All while spending almost as much because you still have to do things like replace those power plants. Not that your figure is at all reflective of reality, about the only things you can believe from Lord Monckton are that his name is Christopher and he really is a Viscount.

  • zenlike

    theDukedog7 . says

    What I love about the loon left is the smug stupidity

    Projecting much?

  • LightningRose

    tdd7: “And with the earth heating up, you won’t even have to cook.”

    It’s pre-cooked, moron.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002686842900 ChristineRose

    It’s a rebranded bucket from another supplier.

    To get 50 cents a day, you need to exclude the $720 worth of shipping (an additional 28 cents per day)

    The day in question has 435 calories worth of food.

    http://www.foodstoragereviewer.com/jim-bakker-food-storage-bucket-review-and-info/

    http://www.foodstoragereviewer.com/know-jim-bakker-old-mill-inn-love-gifts/

    You can do something similar for yourself by buying beans and grains and pasta and dry milk in bulk. You will have some trouble getting the freeze dried vegetables at a good price I guess. It doesn’t look like ol’ Jim’s brand has a lot of veggies anyhow. Maybe you can have a garden out by the fallout shelter.

  • Kermit Sansoo

    For anyone who wants to see what “18 years of no warming” looks like in a graph, here ya go:

    https://tamino.wordpress.com/2015/05/13/catch-22-no-1/

    .

    That’s NASA data, or course, those fuzzy-headed liberals who want to get rich by stealing DukeDog7’s lunch money. Somehow. Because the government has no other way to get our money. In the meanwhile, US right wing low information voters are addicted to fear of gays, brown people, Musselmen, and children who don’t take them seriously. They give money to people like Bakker over and over and never seem to realize that they have gotten nothing in return.

  • grumpyoldfart

    After the show he laughs and laughs and laughs.

  • carpenterman

    Say, what’s Tammy up to these days? Her own line of cosmetics, maybe?

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    And with the earth heating up, you won’t even have to cook.

    And you can stop whining about gay wedding cakes, since they’ll bake themselves.

  • dan4

    @26: “Say, what’s Tammy up to these days?”

    She passed away in 2007, you numbskull.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    dan4, so what’s she been doing since then, you lug nut?

  • dan4

    @29. Las time I checked, corpses don’t “do” anything because they’re, you know, corpses…you lug nut.

  • sundiver

    First time I saw the Bakkers on TV back in ’82 I thought they were an SNL skit. After a few minutes it began to dawn on me that the assholes were for real, and I realized they were just two more arguments for atheism. When I found out about the scam theme park and that one bunch of religidopes I was acquainted with had lost thousands of dollars on it I laughed. I hope pukedog and Dan4 are stupid enough to blow a few thousand on this new scheme.

  • carpenterman

    Ah. I did not know Tammy Faye died in 2007. Now I feel kind of bad about the cosmetics crack.

    Actually, no. No I don’t.

  • Lady Mondegreen

    Re Tammy Faye:

    She got better. Though she remained a Christian, (and, sadly, while battling cancer got scammed by and helped spread Kevin Trudeau’s snake oil,) she apologized to the gay community. Via Wikipedia:

    Despite her background in Christian fundamentalism, Tammy Faye became a gay icon after her parting from PTL, appearing in Gay Pride marches with such figures as Lady Bunny and Bruce Vilanch. She supported the LGBT rights movement, including same-sex marriage.[15] She was benevolently referred to as “the ultimate drag queen,”[16]  and said in her last interview with Larry King that, “When I went — when we lost everything, it was the gay people that came to my rescue, and I will always love them for that

  • Lady Mondegreen

    Oops. “She got better”– I didn’t think about how that would sound in context. I wasn’t trying to be snarky about the fact that she died. I meant, she recovered from being a bigot, and made amends.