Ben Carson = Sarah Palin

The more I hear from Ben Carson, the more obvious it is to me that he’s really just the second coming of Sarah Palin. Like Palin, he appears to write his speeches using a Wingnut Madlibs game. His speeches are nothing but a jumbled series of well-worn cliches with virtually no original cognitive content at all. The latest begins with this:

“Don’t let the secular progressives drive God out of our lives,” Carson told listeners at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference in Oklahoma City.

“We have to stop letting them bully us,” he said of secular interests. ‘We back down too easily. It’s an important part of who we are.”

How amusing. Those people are bullying us into not oppressing others in the name of our religious beliefs!

“The fact of the matter is that I believe our founders set up a system that wasn’t supposed to cater to a political class,” Carson said. “It was supposed to cater to the people.”

“We’ve gotten everything confused,” the retired neurosurgeon said of today’s political landscape.

“We’ve got to stop making everything into a political issue,” he added. “Our unity is through our strength.”

Just meaningless platitudes.

“This country has so much energy,” Carson said of U.S. fossil fuels. “It is unbelievable what God has blessed us with. Developing our energy, our fossil fuels, does not have to be at odds with people who want green energy.”

So did God “bless us” by putting a lot of fossil fuels here hundreds of millions of years ago in anticipation of our later arrival? And if he really wanted to bless us, why wouldn’t he have given us vast resources for energy production that didn’t pollute the air and water and cause massive health harms to millions of people? Wow, what a…blessing.

Carson said he saw partisan divides over the 2012 terrorist attack in Benghazi, Libya as another unnecessary schism.

“Every issue is a pro-American or an anti-American issue,” he said.

What the fuck does that mean? What the fuck could that mean?

Carson charged that a key source of disunion was the influence of special interests and outside money.

“Sever ties with special interest groups,” Carson urged politicians.

“I personally don’t have ties with any of those people,” the 2016 hopeful said. “And I’m not going to develop any of them, either.”

Carson called on voters to remember they all live in and love the same country. The overall U.S. was infinitely more important than party affiliation, he argued.

“It’s not about some elite class of us,” he said. “It’s about all of us. This country belongs to all of us.”

Pretty much any talk about “special interests” is an empty cliche. They just conveniently label any group they disagree with as a “special interest” and any group they agree with as not one. Voila!

This man has nothing of interest or intellect to say about any political issue and the few times he does venture away from just repeating platitudes, he’s completely wrong.

"Yes, I suspect you would know. Did you see that fucking rally last night? Something ..."

Trump Wars 4: A New Hope
"True, I can't think of any foreign occupations of Afghanistan that have not gone swimmingly.Oh, ..."

Breaking Down Trump’s Afghanistan Speech
Follow Us!
POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • busterggi

    Bushwah! He uses complete sentences, that alone differentiates him from Palin.

  • John Pieret

    “Our unity is through our strength.”

    Wha?

  • raven

    “Our unity is through our strength.”

    Wha?

    Oh c’mon. It’s right there in their sacred scriptures.

    War is Peace

    Freedom is Slavery

    The Truth is a LIe

    Ignorance is Strength

  • daved

    “We have to stop letting them bully us,” he said of secular interests. ‘We back down too easily. It’s an important part of who we are.”

    Backing down easily is an important part of who they are? Would that it were so.

  • ZugTheMegasaurus

    Carson doesn’t seem to realize that he would not have been included in “the people” as it was initially applied.

  • caseloweraz

    Carson: “Our unity is through our strength.”

    He’s right. United we stand; divided we fall. (“And if our backs should ever be against the wall…” Sorry) There’s safety in numbers. A house divided against itself cannot stand. E pluribus unum and all that. The fact that Carson expresses it poorly doesn’t make it false.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    “The fact of the matter is that I believe our founders set up a system that wasn’t supposed to cater to a political class,” Carson said. “It was supposed to cater to the people.”

    Note that, at the time, “the people” didn’t include Ben.

     

    “Our unity is through our strength.”

    Said Ben, framed on both sides by Norsefire flags.

  • Johnny Vector

    Carson said he saw partisan divides over the 2012 terrorist attack in Benghazi, Libya as another unnecessary schism.

    So true. On the one side, you had people saying “Here’s what happened; it’s terrible.” And on the other side you had people saying “BENGHAZI!!! Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi! Argle-bargle-morble-whoosh!”

    I just can’t see why neither side could bridge that gap.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    “We have to stop letting them bully us,” he said of secular interests. ‘We back down too easily. It’s an important part of who we are.”

    If “backing down too easily” is taking bigotry and Christian privilege all the way through to the Supreme Court and then never shutting up about it when you lose, then sure, you back down too easily.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    “… our founders set up a system that wasn’t supposed to cater to a political class,” Carson said. “It was supposed to cater to the people.”

    Yabbut the people kept arguing over everything from the appetizers to the desserts, not to mention placement of tables and color of napkins, so the system shut down its catering service and went to in-house and take-out dining only.

    “It’s not about some elite class of us,” he said. “It’s about all of us. This country belongs to all of us.”

    And with a cunning appeal to the Communist Republican faction, Carson wraps up the nomination!

  • chrislrob

    He’s a Palin. This is seen most clearly in how he continues to know nothing about the issues. Like Palin, he doesn’t think he needs to know more than he does. Political knowledge isn’t what got him here anyway. And, like Palin, he is very fond of time-burning pageant contestant-style answers “Well, when you ask me what I think about what America should do about that, I think that oftentimes we forget what the old folks used to say before the internet…” If he makes it that far, he is going down in flames at the debate. He is both politically ignorant and a poor speaker, but unfortunately for him, not as good-looking as Rick Perry.

  • scienceavenger

    “We’ve got to stop making everything into a political issue,”

    Says the man running for political office making a political speech. In other news, football coach laments the emphasis on football at his job…

  • llewelly

    Carson:

    Developing our energy, our fossil fuels, does not have to be at odds with people who want green energy.

    It’s true. We can easily upgrade coal power plants with machines that will put green coloring into the smokestacks .

  • tfkreference

    “Unity through strength” is not the same as “strength through unity.” The former describes tyranny.

  • wreck

    As John Prine once sang:

    “Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios.”

    Describes Palin and Carson perfectly.

  • Nick Gotts

    His speeches are nothing but a jumbled series of well-worn cliches with virtually no original cognitive content at all.

    That’s surely no disadvantage in the fight for the Republican nominatioon. But Carson does have one thing he’ll need to change if he’s to have any chance of winning it: the colour of his skin.

  • cjcolucci

    But nobody’s talking about starbursts for Ben Carson.