The Things Rick Santorum Believes

Rick Santorum has now officially claimed a bunk on the Republican presidential candidate clown bus (there’s simply too many for a car this year) and ThinkProgress has a rundown of some of the loopier things that Santorum believes. It’s a hell of a list.

Obamacare is (a) like apartheid, (b) a plot to kill the opposition’s voters, and (c) the “final death knell” of America. Santorum’s anti-Obamacare arguments regularly delve into the absurd. Following Nelson Mandela’s death, Santorum memorialized the former South African leader by noting that, like apartheid, “we have a great injustice going on right now in this country […] and Obamacare is front and center in that.” More than that, Obamacare is actuallya Trojan Horse to “get rid of” voters who oppose the government, he later argued. Worst of all, Obamacare will, according to Santorum in his 2012 campaign, be the “final death knell” of America…

Even if it survives Obamacare, “our country will fall” because of same-sex marriage. The government recognizing gay people’s love will be the downfall of America, according to Santorum. “The family is the bedrock of our society, unless we protect it with the institution of marriage, our country will fall,” hedeclared in 2011.

He believes consensual sex between gay people should be illegal. Until 2003, states were still permitted to outlaw sodomy. Though those statutes were struck down in a landmark Supreme Court case that year, as recently as 2011, Santorum was still wishing for the good old days when states could tell gay people what they can and cannot do in the bedroom. He told radio host Bradlee Dean, “[I] said this is wrong. We can’t do this, we can’t have a constitutional right to consensual sexual activity, no matter what it is.”

In Obama’s America, religious people are on “the path” to being beheaded. During a Texas town hall in 2012, Santorum predicted that America was on the road toward beheading religious people because of their faith. Discussing anti-religious sentiment during the French Revolution, Santorum argued that “we’re a long way from that, but if we do and follow the path of President Obama and his overt hostility to faith in America, then we are headed down that road.”

Sometimes I really do think there’s some secret competition going on among conservatives to see who can say the dumbest and most bizarre things and still remain politically viable.

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  • Larry

    and still remain politically viable

    They’re playing to their base. There is nothing so dumb or bizarre they can say that will hurt themselves. It’s Teh Crazy all the way down. Only by coming back to reality will cause them problems.

  • http://cycleninja.blogspot.com cycleninja

    “FINALLY! Someone who makes me look smart!”

    Marco Rubio

  • http://cycleninja.blogspot.com cycleninja

    Oh, and Ed–your favorite orangutan-haired New York egotist is making noises about running again: http://www.rawstory.com/2015/05/jon-stewart-mocks-donald-trump-in-the-gop-2016-clown-car-he-is-the-true-fckface-von-clownstick/

  • John Pieret

    some secret competition going on among conservatives to see who can say the dumbest and most bizarre things and still remain politically viable

    Unfortunately, it is neither secret nor detrimental to their political viability (at least when it comes to Republican primaries). Let’s not forget that Frothy Mix came in second in the primaries in 2012.

    Worse, only one president who served two terms has been followed by one of the same party since WWII. The clown bus is likely to produce the next president [shutter].

  • Die Anyway

    > ‘religious people are on “the path” to being beheaded.’

    Oh frabjous day! I’m off to the garage to sharpen my axe.

  • raven

    Satan’s Indoctrination Camps – The Washington Monthly

    www .washingtonmonthly. com/…/satans_indoctrination_camps035619.p…

    Feb 24, 2012 – Let’s just say for the sake of argument that Rick Santorum has … It is impossible to make any sense of Santorum’s thinking on higher education without going …..

    Satanorum has said a lot of very weird things.

    1. He is opposed to public education and higher education. He’s called the universities, houses of satan.

    2. Satanorum also has 3 degrees, BA MBA, JD that he uses to make millions of dollars.

    Guy is a flaming hypocrite and a warped sociopath.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Sometimes I really do think there’s some secret competition going on among conservatives to see who can say the dumbest and most bizarre things and still remain politically viable.

    Well, maybe someone told them about the Overton Window and they’re moving it by way of their (currently) less viable clownidates. Which will, net, put their less-insane clownidates squarely in the middle.

  • StevoR

    Discussing anti-religious sentiment during the French Revolution, Santorum argued that “we’re a long way from that, ..

    Well that part is about right and must have cost him votes and wingnut cred ..

  • StevoR

    … but if we do and follow the path of President Obama and his overt hostility to faith in America, then we are headed down that road.”

    Ah but then he fixed it. A road to France from America really? Might get a trifle wet if your car windows aren’t securely up and your undertray waterproofed and also your car made amphibious and all..

    Also chronologically and culturally a wee bit of gaping abyss right there, metaphorically a bit bigger than Vales Marineris.

  • doublereed

    Don’t forget that his major platform in a previous election was getting rid of pornography.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Oh, sure, you mock our Conservative Republican American Patriots, but do you Democrats have anybody running who is willing to stand up for imagination? No! Meanwhile, all of ours are! Even Donald Trump, who imagines he’s running!

  • cptdoom

    Guy is a flaming hypocrite and a warped sociopath.

    Hey, at least he condemned Josh Duggar, as opposed to Mike Huckabee, who has staunchly defended the family.

    OTOH, Santorum did once bring the remains of an aborted fetus home from the hospital so his other children could “mourn” it, so you’re not far off.

  • cptdoom

    Damn blockquote

  • raven

    9 controversial Rick Santorum quotes – The Week

    theweek. com /articles/479083/9-controversial-rick-santorum-quotes

    Jan 5, 2012 – Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that’s okay, contraception is okay. It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is …

    Satanorum is a walking pile of hates. One of which is birth control. The other of which is sex he deosn’t approve of, which is anything nonmarital. He thinks it should be outlawed.

    Acceptance of birth control runs 90%. Use of birth control in relevant female cohorts runs 99%.

    I’m not seeing that we need a president to supervise our sex lives. Or bring back forced child bearing, a form of slavery. OTOH, he doesn’t want to be president anyway. Satanorum wants to be a New Dark Age Pope.

  • StevoR

    @ ^ raven : Pile of hates? He’s more a frothy stinking ooze of them really isn’t he?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    “A chicken in every pot, and a government official in every bedroom!”

  • D. C. Sessions

    “A chicken in every pot, and a government official in every bedroom!”

    How do you think the former DDR had half of the population spying on the other half?

  • blf

    Circus clown cars can contain up to c.20 clowns, so the thugs could still be using one. In fact, I sort-of hope they are, since clown car interiors are stripped of everything to maximize the available space, and then filled with clowns packed nose-into-armpit. It’s a testament to the skill of real clowns that they can then extract themselves into the spotlight and make it look like they just got out of a limo.

    The thugs, who actually are using a limo, can’t even climb aboard without proving themselves skill-less. And the exit routine basically consists of throwing red meat — eventually each other — to barking hordes.

    In addition, there is a real temptation to lock the doors of the occupied kandidate klown kar, once all kook kandidacy kickoffs are finished and it contains the full set.

  • lldayo

    blf, those circus clowns didn’t have to fit heaps of bullshit and inflated egos into those cars. Those make for a lot less room.

  • freemage

    And yet, then-Senator Clinton willingly joined in on then-Senator Frothy’s campaign against the evils of pixilated porn easter eggs in video games, because everything else in the Dubya years was so hunky-dory that the Senate didn’t have anything better to do.

    (Note: I’m a ‘hold my nose and vote for the lesser evil’ person in the general election. Doesn’t mean i can’t call out the lesser evil for still being evil.)

  • annaelizabeth

    I wish Rick Frothy would just go be the bottom he so clearly yearns to be. He’d be happier, he couldn’t spout nonsense while he was performing oral, and life would just get a little easier.

  • carpenterman

    When Santorum was voted out of the Senate, he lost by 18 points. So I guess we can’t *completely* blame Pennsylvania.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Sometimes I really do think there’s some secret competition going on among conservatives to see who can say the dumbest and most bizarre things and still remain politically viable.

    You say that like there’s doubt.

  • Lofty

    raven @6

    2. Satanorum also has 3 degrees, BA MBA, JD that he uses to make millions of dollars.

    Yebbutt, he has personal experience of how evil eddication and stuff is and he wouldn’t want anyone else to suffer the same fate. (Unless they could afford it out of their own daddy’s deep pockets.)

    Ain’t he maaaarvelous?

  • felidae

    Icky Sticky Ricky wants to supplant “knowledge is power” with “ignorance is bliss”