Flight Attendant Bravely Stop Muslim Woman From Hijacking Plane With a Can of Soda

Pam Geller might have found her new hero, a United Airlines flight attendant who courageously stopped a Muslim woman from hijacking a plane through the cunning use of an unopened soda can. Or, this might just be naked bigotry and stupidity on display.

A simple request for an unopened can of Diet Coke on a United Airlines flight left Tahera Ahmad in tears.

A Muslim chaplain and director of interfaith engagement at Northwestern University, Ahmad, 31, was traveling Friday from Chicago to Washington for a conference promoting dialogue between Israeli and Palestinian youth. She was wearing a headscarf, or hijab.

For hygienic reasons, she asked for an unopened can of soda, she said. The flight attendant told her that she could not give her one but then handed an unopened can of beer to a man seated nearby. Ahmad questioned the flight attendant.

“We are unauthorized to give unopened cans to people because they may use it as a weapon on the plane,” she recalled the flight attendant telling her.

When Ahmad told the flight attendant she was being discriminated against, the attendant abruptly opened the beer can.

“It’s so you don’t use it as a weapon,” Ahmad said she was told.

Shocked, Ahmad asked other passengers if they had seen what happened.

A man sitting across the aisle turned to her and yelled, “You Muslim, you need to shut the f— up,” she said.

“What?”

The man leaned over, looked her in the eyes and said: “Yes, you know you would use it as a weapon. So shut the f— up,” according to Ahmad.

No, dumbass, I think it’s you who needs to shut the fuck up. The airline is apologizing profusely and says it is investigating the incident. But don’t worry, folks, Islamophobia is just a myth, amirite?

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • marcus

    No, he’s right! Why, only last week I was walking down the street when some Muslin Islamo-terrotist lobbed an unopened can of soda into a crowd waiting for a bus. Of course, being the man that I am, I courageously and heroically threw myself on top of it, sacrificing my own life but saving many others from death and destruction. True story.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    To be fair, she could have shaken it!

  • colnago80

    Many of the accounts of this incident have neglected to inform the readers that the gentleman sitting next to her was handed an unopened can of beer before she made the request.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Why would anyone think a Muslim on an airplane might use a weapon? Where could such an idea come from?

  • D. C. Sessions

    Modus, I think you’ve been challenged.

  • Pianoman, Church of the Golden Retriever

    maybe she was worried about forcing other passengers to take a sip. Diet soda is pretty nasty tasting.

  • sugarfrosted

    @6 I disagree, but that’s what my parents had around the house, which I used to sneak. (Diet Pepsi is bad though.)

  • cptdoom

    Why would anyone think a Muslim on an airplane might use a weapon? Where could such an idea come from?

    So we should ensure straight men have no access to weaponry because they have a high probability of using weapons to threaten, maim and kill people?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    colnago80 “Many of the accounts of this incident have neglected to inform the readers that the gentleman sitting next to her was handed an unopened can of beer before she made the request.”

    How is that an issue? Beer is perfectly safe. If anything, it made the passengers safer, as it’s a known Muslin repellent.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    … as it’s a known Muslin repellent.

    I am confused by this. I know Jews are forbidden to mix fabrics, but I don’t know whether that applies to Muslims as well. Also, soda is not a fabric.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Reginald Selkirk, soda is a fabic additive. It’s whatever the opposite of a non-stain coating is.

  • zenlike

    grumpyoldfart says

    Why would anyone think a Muslim on an airplane might use a weapon? Where could such an idea come from?

    Well, grumpy, it might surprise you but there are actually people out there who think that just because a handful of muslims have done this, then every single other muslim out there is a risk, even though there are a billion muslims out there. This is called bigotry.

    You might want to rephrase your comment because in it’s current phrasing it reads like that. Don’t know if that was your intention.

  • Artor

    Pam Geller might have found her new hero… Or, this might just be naked bigotry and stupidity on display.

    Umm… isn’t naked bigotry & stupidity Geller’s thing? I don’t see how those two propositions are remotely contradictory.

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    Just give me a Pepsi please. Just one unopened Pepsi. And she wouldn’t give it to me!

  • eric

    Since the airlines lose money on soda but make money on beer, I can totally understand why in reality they might not have the same “open before you hand it to them” rule for both. But that’s an economic decision, it has nothing whatsoever to do with safety or security. Though I guess it makes sense for the beer too, as there is probably some different licensing requirements for serving alcohol vs. selling it ‘to go.’

  • abear

    Are there a lot of people that say there is no such a thing as islamophobia or bigotry against Muslims?

    I know there is such a thing as apologists that label justified criticism of Islam as islamophobia as a dishonest debating tactic but I can’t recall anyone claiming that muslims never face prejudice.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Which sect(s) of Islam employ(s) female chaplains?

    Artor @ # 13: … isn’t naked bigotry & stupidity Geller’s thing?

    No, she usually wears clothes when doing those things.

  • caseloweraz

    Yes, an unopened can (of soda or beer) can be used as a weapon. It might be slightly more effective than a closed fist. Assuming the fist belongs to an ordinary joe, not a martial arts expert.

    On the other hand, an opened can of diet coke can be deadly given a supply of Mentos.

    More seriously, if someone is determined to start whacking other passengers on a plane, the trays they serve food on are even better than unopened cans.

  • Saad

    zenlike, #12

    Don’t know if that was your intention.

    It was.

  • raven

    C’mon forget the coke can and food tray weapons.

    I not too long ago carried a large rock through airport security in my carry on. It was a nice rock, one of the types that people pick up and take home on vacations.

    They took it out very carefully using gloves, looked at it, said nice rock, and handed it back to me.

    OTOH, I’m not taking any more rocks through airport security. I’m not sure what the penalties are for rock smuggling but I’ve got cats to feed.

  • eric

    @20: and if you ever develop knee problems, you’ll be allowed to carry on your shillelagh oops no club oops I meant cane.

  • garnetstar

    I was wondering what the actual cause of concern was, since the flight attendant was willing to give the woman an open can of soda. The weapon must therefore be……the pull tab? They’re thinking that the tab from a can of soda is a weapon? It doesn’t come off the can anymore, it sort of folds back, that really lowers the ability to cut someone’s throat with it.

    Well then, who needs all those expensive automatic rifles? You can stockpile weapons just buying soda by the case.

  • scienceavenger

    I could attribute this to bigotry more easily if the airlines didn’t have such an absurd standard for what constitutes dangerous materials. If 4 oz of hair gel is too dangerous to bring on the plane, why not an unopened can of coke? This passenger is only slightly more loopy than they are.

  • Saad

    scienceavenger, #23

    I could attribute this to bigotry more easily if the airlines didn’t have such an absurd standard for what constitutes dangerous materials.

    “The flight attendant told her that she could not give her one but then handed an unopened can of beer to a man seated nearby.”

    (from the article)

  • Lady Mondegreen

    This passenger is only slightly more loopy than they are.

    How is she loopy?

  • tbp1

    Hell, you can take knitting needles on an airplane. At least my wife has always been able to. And she uses the circular kind, which besides the stabbing potential would make a dandy garotte. She’s petite but could easily hand them off to me (I’m not exactly a bruiser, but fairly big and strong).

  • EnlightenmentLiberal

    I’m with garnetstar. My mind is still reeling how anyone could equate the pull-off tab of a can of soda with a weapon. And that’s the most plausible explanation of the series of events as described to me.

  • dingojack

    I know.

    I was innocently driving down the road the other day with an open fifth of scotch on the passenger seat and the cops stopped me – while all these other drivers were driving past with open cans of soft drinks! It’s anti-anti-Muslim discrimination I tells ya!

    Or perhaps there was something else going on?

    Dingo

  • http://www.pixelated-reality.com Alareth

    Today at work a woman in a Niqab bought a water filter for her refrigerator.

    Should I have called in a swat team?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    tbp1 “At least my wife has always been able to. And she uses the circular kind, which besides the stabbing potential would make a dandy garotte…”

    Back when I was an actor on the stage in the 19th century, I worked with Dandy Garotte. Lovely girl, taken too soon by her twin addictions: Kellogg’s Flakes and falling off high things. Mostly the latter, I assume.

  • John Pieret

    I’m sure that woman could have used the soda can to batter down the cockpit door and taken over the plane. Too bad that Lufthansa pilot didn’t think of soda cans.

  • Anri

    Clearly, they should have just handed out unopened cans to everyone on the plane, then everyone would have been equally well-armed, resulting in either:

    1) the perfect peace that comes from an excess of weaponry, or

    2) a rightly-deserved beatdown of the minority person.

    Whichever you pick, it’s The American Way!

    (note: the above post may contain trace levels of sarcasm. Handle at your own risk. Risk levels are scientifically tested to be 35% below the universal benchmark of an unopened soda can.)

  • eric

    @22 and @27: the proscription against unopened cans seems to indicate they don’t want it to be used as a heavy bludgeoning object, not that they have a problem with small sharps like pull-tabs (do those even exist any more?).

    Given that the policy makes no sense from a security perspective but lots of sense from a ‘making money’ perspective, I’m guess the airlines do it to make money and use security as a mere excuse.

  • garnetstar

    @33 Really? That’s what they’re worried about?

    But soda cans are so thin-walled, even I can crush one in my fist, what an idea that you could bludgeon someone! I could kill more people with blows from my MacBook’s charging brick.

    Well, you live and learn! I’ll be sure to watch out for that now.

  • http://cheapsignals.blogspot.com Gretchen

    Really? That’s what they’re worried about?

    But soda cans are so thin-walled, even I can crush one in my fist, what an idea that you could bludgeon someone! I could kill more people with blows from my MacBook’s charging brick.

    Well, you live and learn! I’ll be sure to watch out for that now.

    This made me laugh, couldn’t help it. Some friends and I used to play a game, a long time ago, where if you were made to wait somewhere you challenged each other to pick the most unlikely item in the area and explain how you could use it to kill someone. This sounds so much like that.

  • EnlightenmentLiberal

    @eric

    I guess that explanation is about as plausible – it’s about the same amount of ludicrous. Come now – they’re worried about bludgeoning weapons when they’re on an airplane with baggage? My question would simply be “srsly?”.