‘End-times Expert’ Criticizes Other ‘Experts’

The Worldnetdaily reports that an “end-times expert” — sounds a lot like an expert on garden fairies, doesn’t it? — is criticizing other “end-times experts” who make what he thinks are unsupported claims about how the hallucinations in the book of Revelation relate to modern events.

Mysterious sounds have been reported around the world, and many witnesses are likening them to the trumpet blasts described in the biblical book of Revelation.

WND reported on the phenomenon that has been puzzling people in Britain, Ukraine, the U.S., Germany and Belarus.

The reports have prompted new speculation about the end times.

But several authors who have addressed that subject in their books say a good dose of caution is appropriate, concluding the sounds may be a spiritual warning rather than a literal announcement of the end of days.

Pastor, talk-show host and author Carl Gallups, who used the symbol of the trumpets of Revelation as the basis for his exploration of the end times in “Final Warning: Understanding the Trumpet Days of Revelation,” says believers should be wary of hoaxes.

“Of course, some would expect an author who has written a book about the ‘trumpet days’ of Revelation to be absolutely giddy about the reported phenomenon of mysterious trumpet sounds coming from the sky at various locations around the world. However, the opposite is true,” he said.

“There is room for a lot of scientific, common sense and biblical skepticism in this matter. Even though I love to point out scriptural connections to current geopolitical events and their possible prophetic correlations, I am not a wild-eyed sensationalist. I consistently strive to give an objective and biblically balanced explanation of sensational and unusual claims. I approach these kinds of claims with investigative and biblical caution.”

In related news, the Long Island Medium says you shouldn’t trust all those other fake psychics, only Real Psychicstm like her. There’s a really easy way to tell whether verses in the Bible refer to events in the modern world: They don’t.

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  • Synfandel

    “biblical skepticism”

    “biblically balanced explanation”

    “biblical caution”

    I think he’s trying here for biblical oxymoron.

  • whheydt

    Trumpeter swans?

  • Nemo

    Also, if these mysterious noises actually occurred, why has no one but WND reported it?

  • claytoncar

    How many end times books can you write? And be many times can you be wrong?

  • caseloweraz

    Mysterious sounds have been reported around the world, and many witnesses are likening them to the trumpet blasts described in the biblical book of Revelation.

    Which suggests an easy way to freak certain people out…

    The reports have prompted new speculation about the end times.

    But there’s nothing novel in speculation about the “end times,” and prompting more of it is probably not worth the effort.

  • caseloweraz

    Pastor, talk-show host and author Carl Gallups…

    If only he had a relative whose first name or nickname was “Gish.” I know; that’s too much to hope for.

  • caseloweraz

    Nemo: Also, if these mysterious noises actually occurred, why has no one but WND reported it?

    Ah, but there are other reports:

    WND: Numerous videos are posted on YouTube from across the globe, with people wondering just what is causing the strange phenomenon.

    They even provide one example. (I didn’t watch it.) Of course there are videos of Bigfoot and alien autopsies on YouTube as well, so I use the word “reports” in a colloquial sense.

  • raven

    How many end times books can you write? And be many times can you be wrong?

    It’s at least 3. Harold Camping. He did get it almost right in the end. When he died, his world ended.

    Just about all of the fundie leader vaguely humanoid toads have been wrong at least once. Robertson, Hagee, Glenn Beck, etc.

    Most likely it’s infinite. They’ve been wrong about this for 2,000 years so its nothing new. Even god himself in his jesus meat suit got it wrong.

  • blf

    How many has Hal Lindsey (who is apparently still churning them out) written? I don’t recall if he invented any actual dates (like Camping did) or not, but he’s been freaking out and babbling doom and gloom and things that go “BOO!” in the night for many many decades now.

    (I found a copy of The Late, Great Planet Earth at a family member’s house once, and actually read — or more accurately, giggled — my through it. Fortunately, I don’t recall any of it now.)

  • peggin

    In “Good Omens”, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett gave the best explanation ever for the hallucinations in the book of Revelation — one of their characters thought of St. John the Divine of Patmos as “a nice chap, if a bit too fond of odd mushrooms.”

    I wonder if there could be a similar explanation for the people hearing these “mysterious sounds”.

  • busterggi

    “Mysterious sounds have been reported around the world, and many witnesses are likening them to the trumpet blasts described in the biblical book of Revelation.”

    Divine fart noises?

  • rietpluim

    Actually, I am an expert on garden fairies. I can tell with great certainty that they do not exist.

  • aziraphale

    My reading of Revelation is that when those trumpets sound, no-one will be in any doubt about it. Like this:

    Revelation *:7 The first angel sounded his trumpet, and there came hail and fire mixed with blood, and it was hurled down on the earth. A third of the earth was burned up, a third of the trees were burned up, and all the green grass was burned up.

  • aziraphale

    Sorry, that should be Revelation 8:7. Keyboard trouble.

  • Lofty

    There have been many complaints about loud trumpet noises in my city. After due deliberation the state transport authority ordered that the horns on the new electric trains be turned down.

  • bmiller

    aziraphale: IT IT THE END TIMES.

    We are having a four year drought, and with the irrigation restrictions all the grass will indeed by burned up! Along with a lot of trees if there are forest fires!

  • sugarfrosted

    It’s not really hallucinations, it’s ancient coded political satire. It’s just totally lost on the modern reader, including Christians.

  • raven

    Wikipedia Hal Lindsey:

    In a later book, titled, The 1980s: Countdown to Armageddon,[19] he indicated that he believed it was possible that the battle of Armageddon could take place in the not too distant future, stating,

    “the decade of the 1980s could very well be the last decade of history as we know it.”.[20] He noted again that there is no reference to the U.S. in Bible prophecy. He listed a few scenarios that seemed plausible to him at the time: (1) A takeover by communists, (2) destruction by a surprise Soviet nuclear attack, or (3) becoming a dependent of the 10-nation European community.[21] The book was on the NY Times bestseller list for over 20 weeks.

    Planet Earth – 2000 A.D., published in the early 1990s, states that Christians should not plan to still be on earth by the year 2000.

    Hal Lindsey is sort of an obscure false prophet these days. He has written a number of best sellers including The Late Great Planet Earth. All of which were completely wrong.

    If the xians really followed their magic book, he would have been stoned to death as a false prophet. And they would dig up his bones and stone them again.

    PS Odd factoid. I’ve never met a real Apocalypse Jesus is coming back any day xian, that I know of anyway. They must spend a lot of time in their bunkers. Not that I’m complaining about this lack.