Beck Claims 10,000-17,000 Pastors Ready to Die

Glenn Beck, ever the melodramatist, is holding a conference this week called “Future Conference: What You Thought Was Coming … Is Here Now.” It’s being hosted by far-right megapreacher Jim Garlow at his church. And — cue the dramatic music — they’ve got thousands of pastors prepared to die over…well, something.

Garlow’s conference is coming at the perfect time, Beck said, because society is about to collapse and America needs passionate pastors who are willing to give up their lives if necessary in the fight against the coming persecution of Christians. Fortunately, the Black Robe Regiment that he and David Barton established a few years back has managed to cobble together at least 10,000 pastors who are willing to do just that.

“The number in the Black Robe Regiment is about 70,000 now,” Beck said. “The number that I think will walk through a wall of fire, you know, and possible death, is anywhere between 17,000 and 10,000. That is an extraordinary number of people that are willing to lay it all down on the table and willing to go to jail or go to death because they serve God and not man.”

Garlow was in complete agreement, saying that the necessity of being willing to die is “honestly where we are.”

“We’ve come to that moment,” he said. “People like you and me and, thank God, many others are digging in very deeply and laying the benchmark of where we’re going to stand on these issues.”

“You’re going to see these 10,000 to 20,000 pastors begin to stand up,” Beck promised, “and say ‘it doesn’t matter if I lose my church, it doesn’t matter if I lose my building, it doesn’t matter if I lose my life, I will not sit down!'”

The more the Christian right bigots claim that we’re headed toward some huge culture clash over gay marriage that will lead pastors to be arrested or Christians rounded up or whatever the hell they’re claiming today, the more I laugh. They really are building this up to be some defining moment, convinced that they’re like priests who took on the Nazi regime in Germany and Italy. And it’s really quite silly.

Here’s what’s going to happen if the Supreme Court upholds same-sex marriage in three weeks: Some gay people are going to get married. The Christian right will throw a massive temper tantrum and then it will fizzle out. And everyone will move on with their lives. Beck will then be forced to find some other story about which to send himself into a frenzy of hyper-emotional and hyperbolic rhetoric, which he will no doubt easily find. And in a few years, the subject will be as uncontroversial and irrelevant as interracial marriage is today.

So you boys just go on gesticulating wildly and putting on this public show of courage in the face of a non-existent threat. And I’ll just keep on laughing at you.

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
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  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    I love the smell of martyrdom in the morning. It smells of… victory!

  • raven

    Beck has made dozens of statements like this over the years.

    None of them have ever come true.

    This one won’t either.

    FWIW, a lot of xian sects, Mainline Protestants mostly, don’t have a problem with…gay marriage. Beck and Jim Garlow don’t speak for all xians or all xian ministers.

  • dingojack

    Oh Glenny — how’s that whole Second American Revolution getting along?

    Weren’t millions touted to turn up — and in the end there was less than 200?

    At that rate you’ve got about one or perhaps two pastors (at the very best) who are ready to ‘walk through fire‘ (in reality just turn up and wander vaguely around carrying misspelt signage and getting the point n’ laugh treatment).

    Oooh, that’s just soooo impressive!

    Dingo

  • raven

    Fortunately, the Black Robe Regiment that he and David Barton established a few years back has managed to cobble together at least 10,000 pastors who are willing to do just that.

    “The number in the Black Robe Regiment is about 70,000 now,” Beck said. “The number that I think will walk through a wall of fire, you know, and possible death, is anywhere between 17,000 and 10,000.

    Oh. It’s David Barton.

    I’d be surprised if the Black Robe regiment even exists much less has more than a few members. And even more surprised if they can do anything more than spout nonstop hate.

  • marcus

    “We’ve come to that moment,” he said. “People like you and me and, thank God, many others are digging in very deeply and laying the benchmark of where we’re going to stand on these issues.”

    I’m not even sure what all that really means but…

    Keep digging boys, just keep on digging…

  • dingojack

    Glenny — I thought you railed against those ‘black robed tyrants‘!

    Dingo

  • Trebuchet

    Here’s what’s going to happen if the Supreme Court upholds same-sex marriage in three weeks: Some gay people are going to get married. The Christian right will throw a massive temper tantrum and then it will fizzle out. And everyone will move on with their lives. Beck will then be forced to find some other story about which to send himself into a frenzy of hyper-emotional and hyperbolic rhetoric, which he will no doubt easily find. And in a few years, the subject will be as uncontroversial and irrelevant as interracial marriage is today.

    Just like they’ve forgotten about abortion, which the court legalized in 1973? Sorry Ed, they’re not going away that easily.

  • Akira MacKenzie

    Willing to die? For years, the Right would have me believe that American liberals were soft, cowardly, pacifists who piss themselves at the sound of gunfire and faint at the sight of blood. Now we’re bloodthirsty ideological thugs chomping at the bit to slaughter “Bible-believing Christians?”

    This falls into the category of “MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MINDS!”

  • wpjoe

    I’m a little confused. Where is the fire that these guys are planning to walk through? What death do they think they will face, and from whom? How are people going to lose buildings?

  • John Pieret

    Just you wait! When the pink-jack-booted Gay Gestapo marches into your town you’ll be grateful for the brave pastors selflessly throwing themselves on the glitter grenades!

  • corporal klinger

    Ed writes:

    “… convinced that they’re like priests who took on the Nazi regime in Germany and Italy. …”

    Few, very, very few did.

  • Doc Bill

    The same thing was said about the Boy Scouts when the membership policy changed in 2013. You’re going to lose 50% of your membership, they said. All of the churches are going to uncharter, they said.

    What actually happened was nothing, that is, nothing statistically from the annual membership and unit count fluctuation. Sure, we lost a few charters from conservative churches, mostly Baptist, but we found other organizations, and churches, willing to charter those units.

    What the critics fail to realize about the Scouts is that the policy was changed by a 61-to-39 percent vote of the membership, not the executive board; the membership! No activists, no pressure groups, no threats – just a representative slice of American society.

  • Doug Little

    Wow they really, really hate gay people with a passion that borders on fanatical.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    passionate pastors

    Dibs on romance novel title!

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Doc Bill @ # 12:

    … policy was changed by a 61-to-39 percent vote of the membership…

    Hmm, same percentage as in the Ireland referendum. Why does the Evil Gay Conspiracy keep rigging votes to the same proportion?

    … just a representative slice of American society.

    Nope: a not-so-representative slice with many overt gays and friends-of-gays previously excluded.

  • busterggi

    “The number that I think will walk through a wall of fire, you know, and possible death, is anywhere between 17,000 and 10,000. ”

    Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Doug Little “Wow they really, really hate gay people with a passion that borders on fanatical.”

    Actually, passion annexed fanatical in 2003.

  • dingojack

    Doug Little. – their main weapon is fear, fear & surprise. Their two main weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency. Their three main weapons are fear, surprise, a ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical hate of Tehgayz… &etc.

    Dingo

  • Die Anyway

    It’s easy to take the martyrdom pledge when

    (1) the necessity is unlikely or nonexistent

    (2) no one in authority is really taking names, and

    (3) even if you were actually called upon to give your life and you bailed, there’s no one to enforce any kind of penalty.

    Oooh, item 3 gives me an idea. The DFTCW Martyrdom Enforcement Corps. Our motto: “Making sure that martyrs meet their maker.”

    Excuse me while I go to the garage to sharpen my axe.

  • DaveL

    With the Roman Catholic clergy aging the way it is, I’m surprised they couldn’t find more who were “prepared to die.”

  • Big Boppa

    Q: What do you call 10,000 to 17,000 pastors ready to die (for something…?)

    A: A good start.

  • Big Boppa

    J Pieret @10

    [P]ink-jack-booted Gay Gestapo

    Oh dear….they’re going to clash with the Lavender Shirt Brigade.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Some of us remember the war in Vietnam, when priests (and monks) really did die in protest, generally by dousing themselves in gasoline and lighting a match. Ugly, but better than napalm.

    So if these “brave souls” are as true to their values as those Buddhists were, there’s plenty of gasoline in the USA and more than enough matches. Or, alternately, if they don’t, we have a clue how they stand up to little bald guys in orange robes.

  • moarscienceplz

    Then they should die, and reduce the surplus population (of pastors).

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    And in a few years, the subject will be as uncontroversial and irrelevant as interracial marriage is today.

    Remember that Cheerios commercial a couple of years ago that featured an interracial couple and their biracial daughter? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/31/cheerios-commercial-racist-backlash_n_3363507.html

    In forty years people are still going to be losing their shit over same-sex couples.

  • eric

    Beck started a web page for his black robe regiment and evidently got about 70k hits or likes or follows or something. He’s assuming everyone who signed up for his web site is an actual priest, and he’s inferring some sizeable percent will die for his cause. I expect both numbers are greatly inflated.

  • Alverant

    #19

    Yes, I am perfectly willing to give up my life to prevent time-traveling dinosaurs armed with laser cannons from taking over Chicago. (If they want to take over Indiana or if they’re cloned and therefore not time travelers, that’s a different story.) Where’s my praise?! Don’t I deserve praise for being willing to give up my life defending all of you?!

  • jaybee

    OK, all these brave members of the Black Robe Regiment who are willing to sacrifice everything in the name of Christianity, how many are willing to get on a plane, fly to Nigeria, or Iraq, or Somalia and stand up and defend your faith?

  • howardhershey

    How exactly, other than intentional suicide like Buddhist monks, are these pastors going to meet their death? Do they think that sitting in at court houses to block all marriages is going to bring in police ready to shoot-tp-kill? Being mostly white, they probably couldn’t provoke the police to shoot them even if they formed a mob and committed arson and shot people at a gay bar! In Texas or Alabama they might not even be risking arrest.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    They’ll all be dead or in prison, like poor Ted Nugent.

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    Howardhershey@29:

    “Do they think that sitting in at court houses to block all marriages is going to bring in police ready to shoot-tp-kill?”

    It will if all the ministers are unarmed black teenagers.

  • birgerjohansson

    Ready to die?

    I recall the 1980s TV comedy “Oops, Apocalypse” wher th British* prime minister has a brillin idea to create a million new jobs: Convince a million volunters to jump down the white cliffs of Dover, thus creating a million new vacancies.

    If Beck can convince a million Republicans to jump down…er Grand Canyon, there will be a lot of new vacancies.

    * (And John Cleese played a very cool terrorist)

  • sundoga

    17000 dead pastors – what a way to improve the world!

  • benedic

    I will personally pay for a dozen to go to Syria now to protect us.

  • Childermass

    That thou doest, do quickly or shut the **** up.

  • https://plus.google.com/101060696320014364594 Darren VanDusen

    Nice reference Dingo!

    “possible death”?? well I guess anything is possible with god (or something like that)

  • Kermit Sansoo

    willing to go to jail or go to death because they serve God and not man.

    .

    Pat Tillman died for humankind*, not God. And he wasn’t expecting an “eternal reward”.**

    .

    * Or his tribe, at least, I’m not sure which.

    ** By the time I was thirteen I was getting tired of hearing about Jesus’s “sacrifice”. According to their story, he suffered for some hours, then two days later was resurrected and was soon the number two entity in the universe. Would Napoleon have turned down that offer?

  • dingojack

    moarscienceplz (#24) — I have a modest proposal – why not feed the Pastors to the poor?*

    If, as the resident christianist apologists suggest, they’re ‘gonna outbreed any losses’ then, like the poor, the poor’s food source will always be with us.

    😉 Dingo

    ———

    * with meatballs and Pastor-sauce, of course!

  • shadowwalkyr

    The numbers might not be exaggerated. When there are vast sums of money to be made by telling people you’re willing to take a risk, and the risk is mathematically zero, volunteers may not be hard to find.