Beck: I’m the New Martin Luther King

Last week, Glenn Beck bleated on incessantly about how he was going to make a huge announcement this week and telling his followers, “I believe my entire life has led to this point.” Like his many previous announcements of this type, it turned out to be self-aggrandizing bullshit. Guess what? He’s going to be the Martin Luther King of those who oppose gay marriage.

But there is more to the effort than simply providing relief to the victims of ISIS, as Beck is personally launching a speaking tour of churches in order to wake up Americans to the threat posed by things like gay marriage and to train them to carry out boycotts, civil disobedience, and nonviolent resistance … and just like Martin Luther King, Beck will be kicking this effort off in Birmingham, Alabama.

“If you think there is trouble now, what happens when the Supreme Court decides to say that homosexual marriage is the law of the land?” Beck asked. “Will this administration then force our churches to comply? Will you be forced to violate your own faith? We must together wake the most powerful force on earth: the people of God.”

“I’m going to begin,” he continued, “where Martin Luther King began. On 8/28, I’m going to be in Birmingham, Alabama in a church just down the street from where Martin Luther King began his historic stand against Bull Connor … We are going to begin to gather like-minded people and we are going to begin to train ourselves for non-violent resistance and civil disobedience. We’re going to begin to train ourselves for boycotts and sit-ins. We’re going to do all of the things that we thought were too radical or too hippy-like to do because we have to understand that we are now David and Goliath has all of the power. But we all know how that story ends.”

Oh yes, we know how all Glenn’s stories end. They end up being bullshit. How many times has he made these grand pronouncements of future plans because God has told him to save the world? Remember when he announced that he was tired of politics and was going to change the culture from within with his new movie company, which will produce films that would transform the country? The result was a Man on the Moon show on the 4th of July that was like a slightly higher tech version of a crappy junior high school drama club production.

Remember when he told the world that he had proof that a Saudi student who was injured in the Boston Marathon bombings was the one who planned and funded them? And he told the FBI that if they didn’t come clean in three days, the next week he was going to reveal their lies to the world. The next week came and…nothing. He didn’t have a damn thing. And now he’s being sued for his lies about a totally innocent man.

Remember more than two years ago, when he announced plans to build a massive $2 billion complex called Independence Park, where people could live and it would be totally self-sustaining and would include a theme park and a “national archive” where people could send their kids to learn about the “real” history of America as a Christian nation from his buddy David Barton? Hey, whatever happened to that idea?

Seriously, this guy is a carnival barker and the attraction he wants you to pay to see is him. That’s all he is.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • John Pieret

    going to change the culture from within with his new movie company, which will produce films that would transform the country?

    Yeah, what ever happened to Warrior Santa Clause or whatever it was called?

    But there is no need to insult carnival barkers.

  • sundiver

    George Lincoln Rockwell is closer to the truth…..

  • wreck

    “Will this administration then force our churches to comply?”

    Umm, no.

    “Will you be forced to violate your own faith?”

    No again.

    “We’re going to begin to train ourselves for boycotts and sit-ins.”

    Boycotts and sit-ins don’t seem to be all that difficult. How big of a moron are you if you need training? (Oh, right, a Beck-sized moron).

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Finally, Glenn Beck is going to stand up and be against the thing that he’s for.

     

    I told you Liberals that blockading all the churches would backfire!

  • scienceavenger

    And teh 9/12 initiative, whatever happened to that?

  • Donnie

    Martin Luther….just not the King part.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    I can’t wait for his “I have a nightmare” speech.

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    We all have a hero narrative going on in our heads. Unlike Beck, the rest of us realize that it’s just stories that we tell ourselves. He believes his, or at least vocalizes it.

  • John Hinkle

    @Modus

    What’s really going on here is Beck got wind of the balance sheets of orgs like the FRC, and as we get closer to a SCOTUS ruling, found that they are making massive amounts of cold hard cabbage. Now he’s slapping his forehead and wondering why he didn’t jump on the bandwagon earlier.

  • MikeMa

    Maybe we can trade tax exempt status for not forcing his churches to perform gay weddings. Might as well make his nightmare come true.

  • John Pieret

    Wasn’t he proclaiming a while back that he doesn’t even know anybody who is anti-gay. So he is going out to campaign against gay marriage?

  • https://plus.google.com/101060696320014364594 Darren VanDusen

    ” I believe my entire life has led to this point.” WOW. How profound Counselor Troi.

    Alabama?? Shouldn’t he start somewhere else if he wants to be the next MLK? I get the connection but the analogy is backwards. King put himself in the firing line (so to speak). How would starting in the deep south be even remotely difficult?

    David?? I guess if you want to be a polygamist who sends an innocent man to his death just to steal his wife, then okay, go be David.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Maybe Beck and the rest of his stoopid cultists could go on a hunger strike until all the bad LGBTQA+ people like me go away.

    I really think that might work, Mr. Beck.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Anna Elizabeth “Maybe Beck and the rest of his stoopid cultists could go on a hunger strike until all the bad LGBTQA+ people like me go away.”

    A hunger strike? What a ridiculous thought! We don’t have that kind of time!*

     

    * Take that, problematic levels of obesity in the population!

  • scienceavenger

    We’re going to begin to train ourselves for boycotts and sit-ins.

    Boycotts I get, but sit-ins? Sit-ins are for people forbidden to go somewhere (say blacks circa 1959 and certain lunch counters) who brave the immoral wrath of the authorities by sitting in the forbidden area anyway. But Beck and his anti-SSM crowd aren’t forbidden from going anywhere. Whatever will they do? Can’t you just see a teary-eyed Beck with a sit-in sign and a small cadre wandering endlessly looking for a place to protest?

  • Hoosier X

    If he REALLY wants to impress people with his wingnuttery, he should be aspiring to be the Anne Frank of marriage inequality.

    He should be reaching for George Zimmerman levels of asshattery.

    By evoking MLK Jr, he’s only up to Newt Gingrich.

  • John Pieret

    scienceavenger:

    Sit-ins are for people forbidden to go somewhere (say blacks circa 1959 and certain lunch counters) who brave the immoral wrath of the authorities by sitting in the forbidden area anyway.

    They can also be used to block others from going somewhere. I could see them pulling a sit-in at a clerk’s office to keep the gays from getting marriage licenses.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Sit-ins? What do they look like, hippies?

  • Anna Elizabeth

    @John Pieret – and *I* can see Federal troops breaking those sit-ins.

  • MikeMa

    @Modus:

    Sit-ins,

    Gatherings of mildly fragrant, long haired, wild-eyed, semi-educated humans willing to occupy space they are not (generally) welcome in. Eventually food, water and are supplied and the (now) well fed hippies leave, declaring victory.

  • MikeMa

    ‘and blankets’

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Actually, I have the start of a plan:

    What if, if Mr. Beck and his skunk-fucking inbred ilk sit-in and disrupt people getting their marriage licenses, there were a fund that would not only let the couples being blocked get their license in another state, but help them throw their wedding, reception, and all in a friendlier state?

    This way, the couple gets a great occasion, the skunk-fuckers lose, and the inbred skunk-fucking state loses revenue and tax gain?

  • dannorth

    If anybody has a firehose to lend I’m willing to help train Beck and company to face them as the demonstrators had to in MLK’s time.

    Just trying to help.

  • azpaul3

    I have a dream that one day this nation’s Christians will rise up and live out the true meaning of our creed: “We hold Leviticus as truth and self-evident, that a man not be allowed to lie with man as they would a woman.”

    I have a dream that one day in the bakeries of Colorado, the sons of former bakers will once again be able to sit down at the sales counter and refuse a gay cake.

    I have a dream that one day even the state of Alabama, a state sweltering with the heat of federal injustice, sweltering with the heat of Supreme Court oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of Christian freedom to impose our bigotry.

    I have a dream today!

  • dingojack

    “… My hate-filled petulant child-god has let me go to the top of the equality mountain, and I have looked over. And I have seen the bigotry promised land.

    I may not get there with you – I might like Glenn Beck’s Black Robed Tyrants, super-duper secret clubhouse* page, and be joining his couple of ‘martyrs’ engaging in some half-assed, under-attended, ineffective sit-in at some bakery in Hicksville, Alabama – but I want you to know we, as bigots, will finally wallow there!”

    If MLK had been on the wrong-side of the marriage equality debate.

    @@ Dingo

    ———

    * no steenky girlz allowed!!

  • dingojack

    [I’ll try that again, shall I?]

    “… My hate-filled petulant child-god has let me go to the top of the equality mountain, and I have looked over. And I have seen the bigotry promised land.

    I may not get there with you – I might like Glenn Beck’s Black Robed Tyrants, super-duper secret clubhouse* page, and be joining his couple of ‘martyrs’ engaging in some half-assed, under-attended, ineffective sit-in at some bakery in Hicksville, Alabama – but I want you to know we, as bigots, will finally wallow there!”

    If MLK had been on the wrong-side of the marriage equality debate.

    @@ Dingo

    ———

    * no steenky girlz allowed!!

  • kenn

    Seriously, this guy is a carnival barker barking mad.

    FIFY.

  • reddiaperbaby1942

    So if he’s going to engage in civil disobedience, I guess he’s not going to marry a guy. Pity — it might have been fun to see that.

  • reddiaperbaby1942

    All of everyone’s life has by definition led up to the current moment. That’s how time works. (Except in “back-to-the future” stories and some science fiction.)