Savage Blames The Gay on…Seat Belts. Seriously.

People ask me often how I manage to not go postal while trolling the right wing fever swamps every day for material to write about. The primary reason is because some of it is so monumentally absurd that it makes me laugh. Like Michael Savage blaming The Gay on — wait for it — seat belts.

At one point, a listener called in to share with Savage his theory that seat belt laws and restrictions on public smoking are meant to condition people for greater limits on their freedoms, Savage agreed, linking those laws to recent strides of the LGBT community.

“How did the gays and lesbians get us in such a lock-grip where we accept to whatever they do to us now as just another incremental destruction of our civilization? It started with the seat belt,” Savage said. “I grew up in a time where there were no seat belts, then there were seat belts but they were sort of optional because you had them around your lap and the cops couldn’t see if they were on you, then the government figured out a shoulder strap where the cops could see that they were on you. So everyone now automatically puts a seat belt on; automatically now everybody checks themselves no matter what the pervert says to them, no matter what the sick sisters in the colleges do to their children, they say, ‘I’m not going to say anything because I have to wear the seat belt around my mouth.’”

I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.

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  • Synfandel

    Handcuffs and ball gags, maybe…but seat belts?!

  • outraged

    I have a friend who is a far right nutter. Listens to Rush, Savage and always has Fox news on. He never wears his seat belt because “liberals” want him to. He doesn’t recycle or use led light bulbs for the very same reason.

    I look at it as Darwinian. Wearing a seat belt is probably the single biggest thing you can do to keep yourself alive, but the more right wingers that don’t, the less likely they are to pass those inferior genes on.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Ergo, Ralph Nader started it all 50 years ago – wearing those fuddy-duddy suits as the ultimate disguise!

  • Tony! The Queer Shoop

    I feel like climbing aboard the Titanic and proclaiming ‘I have the power!’ Instead I shall use the power of teh gay for good.

  • dingojack

    Xenophon, Herodotus, Plato, Martial and Juvenal all mention homosexuality.

    Who knew the ancients used seatbelts?

    Dingo

  • raven

    Good way to win a Darwin award.

    An old college friend recently went over the handlebars of his bike late at night. And hit his head. A passerby found him unconscious.

    He wasn’t wearing a helmet!!!

    He was in a coma for a long time. And now has serious brain damage. He might get better but will never get well.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    SEATBELTS?!! THATS RIDICULOUS!!! THE PROBLEM STARTED WITH BRAKES!!!

  • gardengnome

    Cos’ nothing shouts ‘freedom’ like ramming your face through a windscreen!

  • theguy

    So mandated seat belts = tyranny, but putting gay people in prison = civilization. Only a drooling fascist piece of shit such as Shitage could argue that. You think DerpDog will argue that Shitage is somehow better than us again?

  • sugarfrosted

    This is the difference between freedom and freedumb.

  • eric

    I like how allowing more people to get married is a greater restriction on freedom. Paging Mr. Orwell…

  • http://composer99.blogspot.ca composer99

    I would say that this has got to be the ne plus ultra, the acme, the epitome of slippery slope fallacies.

    But I’m sure 5 minutes of searching on Google would prove me wrong, and so will some post Ed puts up within the next month.

  • abb3w

    No, no; seatbelts are far too late a development. Clearly it could have started no later than the unconstitutional tax on individual incomes passed during the War of Northern Aggression.

    Real ‘Merikans should immediately stop obeying speed limits and stop wearing seatbelts.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Dingo

    “Xenophon, Herodotus, Plato, Martial and Juvenal all mention homosexuality.

    Who knew the ancients used seatbelts?”

    Course they did! Chariots were very dangerous (remember all those poor guys in Ben-Hur?)

    It’s a little known fact that both Spartacus and Jesus got into their final troubles with the Roman authorities because they repeatedly refused to wear a seat belt!!

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Could it be that these Fascist Cultmongers are realizing that all Same-Sex marriage will lead to are more weddings, many of them both tasteful and fabulously lavish, and that many normal citizens will realize that the Cultmongers are hysteric hate-pushers, not worth listening to, and this might just break the back of organized Cultism in the USA?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    abb3w, it was before that, when, in an early form of Gun Control, Fort Sumter confiscated ammunition from Southern Patriots.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kemibe kevinbeck

    “People ask me often how I manage to not go postal while trolling the right wing fever swamps every day for material to write about. The primary reason is because some of it is so monumentally absurd that it makes me laugh.”

    I really have wondered this myself. I admit that I have occasionally just waited for the sounds of automatic gunfire to start erupting from the general vicinity of Grand Rapids.

    “How did the gays and lesbians get us in such a lock-grip where we accept to whatever they do to us now as just another incremental destruction of our civilization?”

    I’ve never listen to Michael Savage, so I had no idea how frankly incoherent he is. I realize that transcripts of audio will introduce questionable syntax into even the most eloquent speakers’ output, but this guy is nothing but a sputtering volcano of word salad. And I hate it when these assholes resort to the royal “we” like this. No, Michael, maybe the gays and lesbians have *your* mind i a lock-grip because you’re an intolerant shitstain bursting with manufactured outrage with a side of legitimate paranoia. *I* retain all the freedoms I ever have despite what you believe are the best efforts on the part of the homos to convert me into your worst mincing-and-prancing nightmare. The hell.

  • lldayo

    No, the problem obviously started all the way back when God forbid eating the apple, thus making the first restriction on our rights. So, obviously gay marriage was caused by him.

  • justsomeguy

    This is an aspect of the argument from authority. If some things can be good or true simply by merit of being spoken or done by the authority, then it follows that some things can be bad or false simply by merit of being spoken or done by the anti-authority. Ignore evidence and common sense; seat belts are bad because liberals think they’re good.

  • Trebuchet

    I would say that this has got to be the ne plus ultra, the acme , the epitome of slippery slope fallacies.

    (My bold) I originally read that as “the acne”. I kind of like it that way.

  • http://denkeensechtna.blogspot.com Deen

    “I grew up in a time where there were no seat belts, then there were seat belts but they were sort of optional because you had them around your lap and the cops couldn’t see if they were on you, then the government figured out a shoulder strap where the cops could see that they were on you.”

    Wow, the stupidity, it hurts. Does he really think the reason for the shoulder his so that the police can see if you’re wearing it? Clearly he wasn’t paying attention while growing up, otherwise he’d have known that three-point seat belts were around long before it became mandatory to actually use them.

  • dingojack

    richardelguru – it was the total lack of gay Egyptians that killed Tutankhamun!

    Trebuchet/composer99 – well if it were the nadir, the minimum, the lowest stationary point the whole ‘slippery slope’ thing would hardly be a problem, would it?

    Dingo

  • busterggi

    NO MODUS, THE WHOLE THING STARTED WHEN LIBERALS INVENTED STOPPING, REAL AMERKANS JUST KEEP ON GOING!

  • Al Dente

    Before seat belts there was government mandated auto safety glass. If you don’t have the freedom to get cut to ribbons in a crash then life isn’t worth living.

  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    so will some post Ed puts up within the next monthday or two at the most.

  • https://plus.google.com/101060696320014364594 Darren VanDusen

    Well, down here in Texas every person riding in a car (van/truck etc) must wear a seat belt. Guess that scares the shit outta the right wingnuts when they realize how much power the gays have in this state!!!

    Odd though–you can ride a motorcycle without a helmet.

  • blf

    Back in the goode olde dayen, when Emperors were Emperors, slaves and women and children were property, and the lions never went hungry, it was common practice to have your slave or other property held in a convenient position for your guests and you to, ah, “enjoy”. This required other slaves to hold the property in proper position. The holding slaves were known as slavenropen, and later slavebelts. Over time this became seatbelts, thus proving, by entirely fictional and rather icky etymology, that seatbelts are caused by Teh Gay. When processed by a wingnut it naturally becomes reversed, ergo, Teh Gay is caused by seatbelts.

  • D. C. Sessions

    He was in a coma for a long time. And now has serious brain damage. He might get better but will never get well.

    But he’s now qualified for a much better career as a right-wing talk host.

  • robertfoster

    And lets not forgot those insidious children’s car seats. They’re designed by liberals to suppress freedom of movement and the desire to live free of government interference. They turn kids into docile, slavish followers, not rugged individualists who scoff at danger.

  • lorn

    If wearing a seatbelt turns you gay … let’s just say you are wearing it wrong.

  • Zmidponk

    I grew up in a time where there were no seat belts, then there were seat belts but they were sort of optional because you had them around your lap and the cops couldn’t see if they were on you, then the government figured out a shoulder strap where the cops could see that they were on you.

    Just another level where he’s wrong. It was actually car manufacturers that came up with the three-point seatbelt, because lap belts were causing spinal injuries, and they were getting sued because of that.

    lorn #30:

    If wearing a seatbelt turns you gay … let’s just say you are wearing it wrong.

    Or maybe wearing it right…

  • grumpyoldfart

    Savage knows his audience well.

    (American and thick as a brick.)

  • Rob

    @2

    I look at it as Darwinian. Wearing a seat belt is probably the single biggest thing you can do to keep yourself alive, but the more right wingers that don’t, the less likely they are to pass those inferior genes on.

    Unfortunately they tend to breed early and often.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Darren VanDusen “Odd though–you can ride a motorcycle without a helmet.”

    Which is fine, since motorcycles don’t even have helmets. Well, maybe in Florida.*

     

    * Take that, Florida!

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Sounds to me like the argument is this — the govt first made us wear seatbelts, then forced us to stop smoking as part of a fiendish plot to get us all used to mindlessly obeying whatever is it the govt wants us to do so that one day …. one day … it would be a piece of cake for them to force us all to get gay married and have to take it up the ass.

    But I could be wrong as I’m not fluent in wingnut.

  • dingojack

    MO – ’cause if all those non-Floridian motorbikes did have helmets – you bet your bottom dollar TehGayz would be out there busily polishing them*

    😉 Dingo

    ———

    * sorry ’bout shoving that whole helmet thing down your throat

  • whheydt

    Re: kevinbeck @ #17…

    He’s not using a “royal we”. He’s using an “editorial we”. The third category of people who get to sue “we” is anyone with a tapeworm.

  • whheydt

    Re: whheydt @ #37…

    /g/sue/s//use/

  • marcus

    @ ^ What is this “we”? You got a mouse in your pocket?

  • https://plus.google.com/101060696320014364594 Darren VanDusen

    Good point Modus! Maybe more should wear helmets. There has been way too many motorcycles dying way too early in life. All this needless two-wheel death could be prevented.

  • dingojack

    Marcus — he’s just excited to see you!

    Dingo