Duigon: God Put Dinosaurs Somewhere Else

Lee Duigon, a Christian Reconstructionist, has a slightly different take on the existence of dinosaurs than his fellow young earth creationists. While most of them claim that humans and dinosaurs lived together in harmony, Duigon says that God put dinosaurs somewhere else so they wouldn’t hurt us.

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that God created dinosaurs.

No one that we know of has ever seen one, and our interpretations of the fossils are subject to never-ending revision. But still, those great big bones had to fit together some way. Maybe someday we’ll figure out what any dinosaur was really like.

The difficulty is that dinosaurs are nowhere specifically mentioned in the Bible. Oh, and another difficulty–they don’t exist anymore.

We are, however, assured that God created the heavens and the earth and all that is in them, so that would include dinosaurs. We are also taught that God pronounced His creation good: therefore dinosaurs, at least in His eyes, were good.

I think you will agree that T. rex and his playmates would be a little much for us to handle. So God removed dinosaurs before the human race multiplied and spread throughout the earth.

Again, the Bible doesn’t get into this. That doesn’t mean we can’t prayerfully consider the matter and use our brains for something more than cooking up mischief.

This is what passes for using one’s brain among the YECs. How amusing. But wait…what about the flood and the ark? The Bible says God ordered Noah to take two of every kind of land animal on the ark. So wouldn’t that have to include those dinosaurs that lived somewhere else? Maybe he’ll use his brain again and come up with more ridiculous speculation.

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  • wreck

    “That doesn’t mean we can’t prayerfully consider the matter and use our brains for something more than cooking up mischief.”

    Yeah, you could ignore mountains of evidence, prayerfully consider the matter and use your brains for cooking up unmitigated bullshit.

  • criticaldragon1177

    Ed Brayton,

    Hmmm… and where exactly could God have put the dinosaurs that our ancestors wouldn’t have noticed them? I mean the only place that human being wouldn’t have noticed them walking around by now, would be on another planet.

  • dhall

    According to many scientists, birds are dinosaurs, which means dinosaurs are still with us. Other scientists believe that birds are their closest descendants. Regardless, this guy would have a hard time explaining where “somewhere else” is, considering that dinosaur fossils have been found on every continent, including Antarctica. So, any definition of “somewhere else” that means on earth would have problems. It’s amazing how far some people will go to preserve their precious belief system rather than just accept reality.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    God put them where Adam and Eve wouldn’t notice them. Underground.

  • OverlappingMagisteria

    “The Bible says God ordered Noah to take two of every kind of land animal on the ark. So wouldn’t that have to include those dinosaurs that lived somewhere else?”

    Well, duh! God moved the dinosaurs to a different planet, so that they wouldn’t be harmed by the flood. Space Dinosaurs!

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    We are also taught that God pronounced His creation good: therefore dinosaurs, at least in His eyes, were good. I think you will agree that T. rex and his playmates would be a little much for us to handle. So God removed dinosaurs before the human race multiplied and spread throughout the earth.

    He sent them off on the “B” Ark, I guess…

  • John Pieret

    Re the ark and dinosaurs:

    Maybe he’ll use his brain again and come up with more ridiculous speculation.

    They already have one: God rounded up juvenile dinos for Noah to put on the ark.

    What I want to know is how the koalas got from Ararat in Turkey to Australia and how a string of eucalyptus trees stretching all that distance managed to survive a year-long flood.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    Speaking of which, has anyone heard from that Gibbons guy? Did he ever find that live sauropod he swore he could find in the Middle East?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    John Pieret “What I want to know is how the koalas got from Ararat in Turkey to Australia and how a string of eucalyptus trees stretching all that distance managed to survive a year-long flood.”

    They rode on kangaroos’ backs. And the kangaroos stored eucalyptus leaves in their pouches.

  • https://plus.google.com/101060696320014364594 Darren VanDusen

    I read statements like this and all I can think of is “what a pile of shit”. Almost as big as the pile of shit would have been on the ark.

  • lldayo

    @10 Darren VanDusen

    C’mon, use your brain. There were eight people on the ark. Two could feed the animals with the enormous feed storage that was easily available with that large of a vessel. Two could shovel the shit off the side using wheelbarrows and ramps up to the top of the boat. One was in charge of entertainment (taking the dogs out of their pen to play fetch, giving the cats balls of yarn, letting the mice scare the elephants, etc…). One was in charge of grooming (the male lion’s brush had especially long bristles for that mane). One made food for the crew and cleaned their rooms. The last one prayed constantly for someone to believe their story.

  • Hoosier X

    The dinosaurs have been trapped on an elevator for 65 million years. Somebody call building management!

  • D. C. Sessions

    What makes you think that koalas can’t live on manna?

  • rietpluim
  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    lldayo, +1 internet.

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    dhall@3, the Creationist explanation for how fossils got all over the place would be same as for how the Grand Canyon looks like it’s millions of years old when the Earth is only six thousand years old: The Flood did it! The Flood killed all those creatures, and then the waters swirling around the Earth scattered their bones all over the place.

  • grumpyoldfart

    The thing that makes me laugh is that millions of Americans believe such piffle.

  • eric

    @3: I think the latest research shows birds appear in the Jurassic, the middle period of the three dinosaur-containing periods. They predate triceratops. So while they are descended from some type of dinosaur they are probably more properly thought of as contemporaries of many dinosaurs, both having a common early-dinosaur ancestor.

    @2: Hey, at least creationism is making theoretically testable predictions now. If we go to Alpha Centauri and find dinosaurs, I will provisionally accept the Duigon theory of Creationism.

  • peterh

    “The difficulty is that dinosaurs are nowhere specifically mentioned in the Bible.”

    The real difficulty is that a large proportion of reality – as in most of it – is nowhere specifically mentioned in the bible.

  • sugarfrosted

    I know where the dinosaurs are, they’re in the center of the earth. I read it in a book.

  • frankgturner

    @ Raging Bee #6

    The one with Bigfoot and the abominable snow man and the unicorns and elves and dragons right?

  • coragyps

    “We are also taught that God pronounced His creation good: therefore dinosaurs, at least in His eyes, were good.”

    Like those good Guinea worms…..

  • dannorth

    @grumpyoldfart

    “The thing that makes me laugh is that millions of Americans believe such piffle.

    Scares the shit out of me, and I’m not american.

  • llewelly

    The ancient dinosaurs (except birds, which are still with us) were only allowed to roam the Earth until it was time for humans to be cast out of the Garden of Eden. Then, God ordered the dinosaurs (except birds) to build spaceships, and fly away to another solar system.

    So, that’s where they went. They do visit now and then, but secretly, because God ordered them not to interfere. In fact, God has had to punish quite a few delinquent visiting dinosaurs, who are guilty of being seen and starting a number of religions, including Mormonism, Scientology, Danikenism, Raelianism, Ickeism, and so on.

  • Nemo

    @criticaldragon1177 #2:

    I mean the only place that human being wouldn’t have noticed them walking around by now, would be on another planet.

    That is actually what Duigon implies in the full piece.

  • weatherwax

    Almost as good as the last theory I heard: That dinosaurs are just lizards, but because of the fall they don’t live long enough to get that large anymore. Let that gecko live a few more years, they’ll grow into Tyrannosaurus.

    #7 John Pieret: “What I want to know is how the koalas got from Ararat in Turkey to Australia…”

    I heard a new theory just the other day. A giant volcanic eruption blasted animals all over the planet. No, really…

  • Ex Patriot

    This just blew the top off my stupidity meter, going to have up the scale another 1000 points because I am sure some other nut case will come up with something even more stupid than this. Naturally the dino’s are not in the babble because the goat herders that wrote it had no idea they even existed, they probably didn’t even know the world existed over 50K from where their mothers squatted down and dropped them on their heads when they were hatched.

  • dingojack
  • John Pieret

    Weatherwax:

    OMG! You’re right! From Phyllis Schlafly’s idiot son, Andy’s Conservapedia site:

    The Post-Noachian Flood Volcano Theory comes from the example of Krakatoa, which, in 1883, erupted and destroyed most of the island, thus remaining lifeless for many years. Still the same life that was there before the eruption eventually came back. It is possible that volcanoes in the Mount Ararat region were able to transport the smaller animals over much greater distances than the animals could get just by walking.

    There aren’t enough desks to head!

  • Damien McLeod

    Like all good religious folk he’s totally insane, believes in sky-fairies, ancient superstitions, etc, so, what he wrote in surprising at all.

  • caseloweraz

    OverlappingMagisteria: Well, duh! God moved the dinosaurs to a different planet, so that they wouldn’t be harmed by the flood. Space Dinosaurs!

    Star Trek Voyager did an episode about this: “Distant Origins”, in which the dinosaurs had evolved to high intelligence and migrated to the Gamma Quadrant. They had spaceships better than the Federation’s, but still held on to their creation myth.

    I can’t help but think this was an ironic comment on Christian myths at some level.

  • caseloweraz

    John Pieret: There aren’t enough desks to head!

    True that. But look at it this way: If we survive, we’ll be able to smash through armor plate with our foreheads. Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind.

    /snark

  • https://plus.google.com/107095827599382907783 NS Alito

    John Pieret @8 “What I want to know is how the koalas got from Ararat in Turkey to Australia and how a string of eucalyptus trees stretching all that distance managed to survive a year-long flood.”

    This was pointed out to you years ago: a ride-on moa

  • https://plus.google.com/107095827599382907783 NS Alito

    D’oh! Learning the difference between “Post Comment” and “Preview” buttons (just like this morning learning the importance of pushing the ON button when making coffee).

  • weatherwax

    John Pieret: It’s obvious that’s why koalas don’t have tails. They lost them on re-entry.

  • dingojack

    Nah – the Koalas flew here!

    Duh!

    Dingo

  • yoav

    It wasn’t god, it was the silurians and it was on a spaceship.