How the Worldnetdaily Cracked Me Up Today

The Worldnetdaily is a constant source of entertainment for me, as my readers well know. So what did they say that cracked me up today? This headline: “Did McDonald’s just sign its own death warrant?” Hmmm. What could this be about, I wondered? Oh, you’re gonna love it.

Has Ronald McDonald just signed his own death warrant?

Just one day after WND broke the news that former White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs – who claimed to be the one who put President Barack Obama’s birth certificate online – has been hired as McDonald’s top mouthpiece, the story unleashed a flood of more than 700 comments, mostly from Americans vowing to never eat at the restaurant chain again.

Calling Gibbs “highly respected” and “talented,” McDonald’s President and CEO Steve Easterbrook on Tuesday named the ex-Obama aide as executive vice president and global chief communications officer.

Easterbrook said the addition of Gibbs brings “experience and outside perspective to McDonald’s as we build a more modern, progressive burger company.”

“Returning excitement to our business proposition and brand is foundational to our turnaround plan, and Robert … will play critical roles in bringing this strategy to life,” he added.

Gibbs became a household face during the national controversy over Obama’s eligibility to be president, and said he personally was responsible for putting Obama’s birth certificate on the Internet.

That’s right. Their “story” is that a lot of people commented on their other story and railed about birther bullshit, saying that they won’t eat at McDonald’s anymore. And they think that means McDonald’s “signed their own death warrant” by hiring Gibbs. They think a few of their thinking-impaired readers vowing not to eat at McDonald’s is going to bring down a company whose market cap is over $90 billion. Yeah, wake me up when that happens.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    I assumed it had to do with a home invasion gone wrong by the Hamburglar and possibly Grimace. Mayor McCheese’s botched cover-up, too.

  • John Pieret

    700 comments, mostly from Americans vowing to never eat at the restaurant chain again.

    Well, at least the move may have saved a few mouthbreathers from early heart attacks.

  • http://healthvsmedicine.blogspot.com cervantes

    Well, as a card carrying member of the Professional Left, I’d be inclined to boycott McDonald’s myself, but I would never consider eating there in the first place. check here if you don’t know what I’m talking about.

  • Mr Ed

    Conundrum, not eating at McDonald’s could lower a person’s BMI and blood sugar requiring fewer doctors visits and prescriptions. This in turn would lower the cost to the individual’s health care insurer. If enough people boycott McDonald’s then Obama Care would look more successful.

  • Kevin Kehres

    I’m actually a fan of their new chicken sandwich…so…I guess I’ll pick up the slack.

  • http://healthvsmedicine.blogspot.com cervantes

    Sorry for some reason my link didn’t take. Proffessional left.

  • busterggi

    Screw Ronald McDonald, the Ham Burgler is back!

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    I’m more disinclined to eat there because of their labour practices, but to each their own.

  • Al Dente

    But if McDonalds goes under then where will children get cheap toys to lose in the sofa? Won’t anyone think of the children?

  • Alverant

    They do know Ronald McDonald is a fictional character right? As such it can’t sign anything.

  • Die Anyway

    Really? There are actually 700 people who care who McDonald’s communication officer is? My bet: 699 of them don’t follow through.

  • dhall

    Could they take down the Burger King along with Ronald McDonald? Both of those characters are creepy.

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    Wow, nearly 700 whiners? In wingnut arithmetic, isn’t that like at least one million? Or did they already apply the arithmetic and the actual number was 1 guy who thought the article was about global warming?

  • dannorth

    @ Mr Ed

    “Conundrum, not eating at McDonald’s could lower a person’s BMI and blood sugar requiring fewer doctors visits and prescriptions. This in turn would lower the cost to the individual’s health care insurer. If enough people boycott McDonald’s then Obama Care would look more successful.”

    Nah, they’ll go at Chickfilla instead and order extra trans-fat to maximise their medical bills

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    But if the wingnuts all boycott McDonald’s and drive it out of business where will they eat the next time they march on Washington and drive Obama out of the Whitehouse?

  • tbp1

    So the fact that they make crappy, mostly unhealthy food that is largely produced in ways that are ecologically unsound and unsustainable isn’t a problem? Or the fact that they treat their workers like dirt? It’s who they hired as a PR guy?

    And they had a whole 700 people complaining—wow! I’m sure McDonald’s top leadership is shaking in their boots.

    Honestly, I’d love to see them go out of business, but I don’t think this is going to turn out to be the death knell.

  • raven

    the story unleashed a flood of more than 700 comments,

    700? Is that all?

    700 out of a US population of 319 million isn’t even a rounding error.

    You could get more with a story that McDonalds is sourcing their pixie dust from free range fairies.

  • grantly

    “What could this be about, I wondered? Oh, you’re gonna love it.”

     

    You’re right. I’m lovin’ it.

  • Nick Gotts

    Well I for one will never eat at Macdonald’s again!

    Of course, I’ve never eaten there yet…

  • dingojack

    Raven – now if the story was where McChew-n-Spew sourced their ingredient: ‘Angel Dust‘…

    :) Dingo