Wingnut: Noah Never Retired, You Shouldn’t Either

Greg Gianforte is a billionaire who is setting the stage to run for governor of Montana, but I suspect policy positions like this aren’t going to help him appeal to voters. He told a group at a Bible college that no one should retire because — get this — Noah never retired.

In a February talk at the Montana Bible College about how to find “godly purpose” in work, Gianforte explained why retirement isn’t consistent with biblical teachings.

“There’s nothing in the Bible that talks about retirement. And yet it’s been an accepted concept in our culture today,” he said. “Nowhere does it say, ‘Well, he was a good and faithful servant, so he went to the beach.’ It doesn’t say that anywhere.”

“The example I think of is Noah,” he continued. “How old was Noah when he built the ark? 600. He wasn’t like, cashing Social Security checks, he wasn’t hanging out, he was working. So, I think we have an obligation to work. The role we have in work may change over time, but the concept of retirement is not biblical.”

His basis for public policy is a fictional character. And the list of things that isn’t biblical is long. The microphone he spoke into when making this statement isn’t biblical either. He isn’t the first to make this argument, of course. Rabbi Daniel Lapin has made it too. But Lapin isn’t running for office. And telling the elderly that they should get off their lazy asses and get back to work because God says so is not a good way to get them to vote for you.

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  • Anna Elizabeth

    You know who else never retired? Commander Data.

    You know why Data never retired? Because he’s a character in Star Trek. Now, you good Xtians should each send me $25, and I’ll tell you more about Star Trek. :)

  • John Pieret

    Anna Elizabeth:

    You know who else never retired? Commander Data.

    Well … there was that multiple episode story where Picard was slipping back and forth through 3 time periods and Data had, if not exactly retired, left Starfleet to be a scholar at Oxford or Cambridge (which is pretty close to retirement).

    But if the good Xians will send me $20 (competition is good), I’ll tell them how they can become an android and comfortably sit around reading books for the rest of their lives.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Heretic! That was an *alternate future, Heathen! All Twue Trekkies know that Data died, was resurrected in B4’s chassis, and served as the last Captain of NCC-1701E.

    Fear not this heathen, my disciples, and send $19.99 to me, to learn the true wisdom of Data.

  • Nemo

    There’s nothing in the Bible that talks about retirement. And yet it’s been an accepted concept in our culture today

    Well, yeah. Our culture isn’t based on the Bible.

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    I prefer the earlier stories. As such, I plan to retire after working for 6 days.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    theschwa “I prefer the earlier stories. As such, I plan to retire after working for 6 days.”

    To be fair, even after He finished He couldn’t resist sticking His nose in. Later on, He even sent His kid.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    And also, thank you billionairre for telling me what I should do in my old age. Perhaps later, sir, you can tell the ladies what they should do with their uteruses, or what foods the poor should spend their SNAP on, or how minorities should behave around law enforcement.

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    Modus: “To be fair, even after He finished He couldn’t resist sticking His nose in. ”

    Yes, but that was more of a hobby. Like gardening or ham radio. Or yelling at kids to get off his lawn and keeping errant frisbees.

  • colnago80

    You know who else didn’t retire? Hister, Stalin, and Mussolini, all of whom left office feet first.

  • dingojack

    SLC – Who?

    Dingo

  • grumpyoldfart

    There’s nothing in the Bible that talks about retirement.

    “This applies to the Levites … at the age of fifty, they must retire from their regular service and work no longer. (Numbers 8:24-25)

  • Sastra

    There’s nothing in the Bible that talks about retirement. And yet it’s been an accepted concept in our culture today

    I thought God rested on the 7th day, after the real work of creating everything.

    That sort of helps make sense of the rest of the Bible, which now has God as some old retired Guy complaining about the way things used to be better, fooling around with one project after another, abandoning them when they get too frustrating or boring, and taking a lot of long naps.

  • colnago80

    Re Dingojack @ #10

    Hoo, hoo, hoo, what are you, an owl?

  • badgersdaughter

    If I could work at 600, I probably wouldn’t retire at 65, either. Maybe I’d take a sabbatical couple of years every 20 or so, but I’d be awfully bored and broke for 500+ years with no job.

  • smrnda

    Retirement isn’t in the Bible. Neither is electricity or modern plumbing or motor vehicles, so let’s see if Gianforte will put his money where his mouth is and join the Amish.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    grumpyoldfart This applies to the Levites … at the age of fifty..

    So the guys who wrote the Law gave themselves a sweet deal?

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    @9: You know who else didn’t retire? Mister Stalin…

    Fixed it for ya.

  • raven

    Jesus retired sort of at age 33.

  • dingojack

    See Numbers 4. It seems it applied to quite a number of families. (Moses’ second cousins?)

    Dingo

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    Greg Gianforte is a billionaire who is setting the stage to run for governor of Montana

    And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

  • chirez

    Forgive the imperfections in my biblical knowledge, but after the ark landed did Noah not then spend the majority of his time drunk and filthy in a cave?

  • Ysidro

    How much gold pressed latinum does $19.99 buy?

  • Georgia Sam

    Hey, I hope his victims, er, uh, followers do what he says. Keep working & paying those Social Security taxes. Keep it from going bankrupt until after I die.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    @Ysidro – 3 Micrograms, less handling,shipping, and Miscellaneous fees. You won’t even notice the monthly charges. :)

  • whheydt

    If I were sure of living and being healthy for 600 years, I wouldn’t be retired. I’d work until I had enough to live very comfortably off the interest (and with a cushion against inflation) and *then* retire. OF course, that wouldn’t be “retirement”. It’d be “investment” and Capitalism in Action.

  • caseloweraz

    Greg Gianforte, 54, is a self-made billionaire. He and his wife Susan founded RightNow Technologies, a cloud-based software firm, in Bozeman, MT. According to Wikipedia’s article on Gianforte, the company now employs upwards of 1,000 people and is allegedly Montana’s only publicly traded technology company. This article is flagged.

    In contrast, Wikipedia’s article on RightNow Technologies is written entirely in the past tense. This is accurate, because — as further research shows — the company was acquired by Oracle in 2011.

    Evidently Mr. Gianforte has retired from business. Just sayin’

  • D. C. Sessions

    And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

    That’s why they get shunted off to the Governor’s Mansion.

  • smrnda

    Not only does the Bible not mention retirement, it doesn’t mention electricity either. Will Gianforte now join the Amish? Will he swear off the potato (a food not mentioned in the Bible?)

  • mistertwo

    So are we to believe that old Isaac, so blind and hard of hearing that he couldn’t tell Jacob from Esau, was still working in the field, tending flocks, or out hunting?

  • pixiedust

    Adam and Eve started out retired. Trust fund babies, as I recall.

  • Nick Gotts

    dingojack@10,

    He means Saltin and Mullosini.