Rabbi Lapin Godsplains Why Women Get Periods

Rabbi Daniel Lapin is Glenn Beck’s favorite far-right Jewish wingnut and it’s not hard to figure out why. Lapin routinely says things that are so inane that only Beck could find them anything but laughable. Now he tells the ladies all about why they get emotional during their period, in response to a Nicki Minaj song.

After Beck brought up his concerns about society’s tendency to mix images of sex with images of death, Lapin explained that this was exactly why God prohibited anyone from touching a woman for seven days during her monthly period in Leviticus 15, since sex represents life while a menstrual period represents death.

As Lapin put it, “the good Lord created men with an infinite capacity to produce seed at almost any age whereas he chose to create women with an absolute finite limited number of eggs. And so the loss of an egg every month, for any sensitive woman, is sad because it’s one less opportunity for life. And so foolish and insensitive people say, ‘Oh, it’s just a hormonal imbalance,’ it isn’t; it’s a genuine, authentic sadness which suffuses any sensitive woman at the loss of an egg.”

Beck, of course, was blown away by this revelation.

“Wow, I’ve never thought of it that way,” he said. “It is actually a God-given sadness.”

See ladies, God wants you to be sad because you don’t turn each and every egg into a baby. And that’s why you’re totally dirty and unclean during your period and can’t be touched. Don’t you feel better now?

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Chiroptera

    You know what often makes me sad? Listening to men talk about women.

  • Blattafrax

    Given that human ovaries contain a few million eggs and one single ejaculation contains about 10x that number of sperm, the “explanation” isn’t even close to rational*.

    * Although rational is a relative term here, given that we have to assume the existence of a god personally interested in making people suffer for following the design specifications.

  • dingojack

    So Wabbi Wabbit – If a women collects her egg after ovulation and keeps in in the freezer she could avoid ‘God-given sadness’. Got it!

    @@

    Dingo

    ———

    Why clueless, fanatical religious men (out of all men) think they’re even vaguely qualified to talk about the real world experiences of women (or anyone outside their make-believe fantasy world for that matter) is completely beyond me!

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    So that’s why kids are so happy during the Easter Egg Hunt!

  • John Pieret

    the good Lord created men with an infinite capacity to produce seed …

    And an infinite capacity to be stupid …

  • Michael Heath

    Chiroptera writes:

    You know what often makes me sad? Listening to men talk about women.

    Well from the perspective of women and humanity in general, sure. But from a purely selfish standpoint, I grade better on the curve based on this sort of behavior by other men.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Silly Rabbi….

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    To bad Monty Python isn’t around any more. They could do a follow-up to their classic song entitled. “Every egg is sacred.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk

  • anat

    Oy, this reminds me of the conversation I was required to have with a rabbi’s wife before getting married. We were living in Israel, where only religious weddings can be officially performed (the secular option requires international travel – especially complicated for us at the time because my husband was in the midst of his military service, but also would have complicated things with extended family, especially one of my grandmothers). So I was supposed to listen to this woman who had no training in anything in particular explain the practices regarding ‘family purity’ (‘taharat hamishpaha’).

    So apparently during the woman’s period and the 7 following days the husband and wife live in ‘two separate circles’ and this is supposed to totally make sense, because during this time the woman has ‘an excess of hormones’. I debated whether I should inform her that the bleeding is actually precipitated by a drop in estrogen and progesterone levels, but decided I just wanted to get out of there asap.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    “Wow, I’ve never thought of it that way,” he said.

    So it must be true?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    anat “‘taharat hamishpaha”

    Also Yiddish for “drum solo”. True story.

  • Al Dente

    why God prohibited anyone from touching a woman for seven days during her monthly period

    So menstruation is when women produce cooties.

  • marcozandrini

    I guess the rabbi never heard of “red wings”!

  • nymphaea

    I and most of the women I’ve known feel/felt happy or relieved to get our periods. Guess we’re not “sensitive” (i.e., Real Women) enough!

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  • http://marniemaclean.com MissMarnie

    it isn’t; it’s a genuine, authentic sadness which suffuses any sensitive woman at the loss of an egg.

    Note the qualifier. Any woman who doesn’t feel sad is clearly an insensitive shrew. Well, if the shrew fits… I don’t recall ever being sad as a result of my period. There are lots of different kinds of discomfort I’ve felt but sadness is definitely not one of them; at least no more or less so than I’d experience any other day of the month.