Bryan Fischer’s Tears Are So Damn Delicious

I said on Facebook moments after the court’s marriage ruling was handed down that I have no intention of being a gracious winner. I intend to savor every tear shed by the bigots who lost this fight and laugh my ass off at every enraged rant they spew. I think I’ll start with Bryan Fischer:

From a moral standpoint, 6/26 has become our 9/11.

On this day, June 26, 2015, five justices of the Supreme Court became moral jihadists who blasted the twin pillars of truth and righteousness into rubble. They did this by imposing sodomy-based marriage on the United States through an act of judicial tyranny.

We the people have ceased to be our own rulers and are now serfs on a plantation run by cultural elites wearing black robes who use their gavels like the slaveholders of old used whips, to lash uppity social conservatives into abject submission.

June 26, 2015 is a date which will live in infamy.

It is a day on which behavior which is an abomination in the eyes of a holy God was normalized, promoted, celebrated and imposed on an a nation built on the foundation of the Judeo-Christian tradition.

I know! Like when we allow people to eat shellfish. Or wear mixed fabrics. Or worship other gods. Or work on the sabbath. Or have premarital sex. All things that are an “abomination in the eyes” of your fictitious god. You don’t get to impose your theocratic rule. Sorry, not sorry. Buh bye.

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • busterggi

    My favorite part of cons freakin out over the court – their repeated complaint that the judges aren’t elected. That’s in the Constitution though all these “Constitutional Originalists” seem to forget that.

  • StevoR

    Bryan Fischer’s Tears Are So Damn Delicious

    Yes, yes they are. Suck shit homophobes! I’d say suck my cock but really I wouldn’t want you too – you wouldn’t be any good at it anyhow!

    Hey Bryan Fischer :

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo

    Hah! Hah!

  • StevoR

    Also 9-11? The words used after the attacks on Pearl Harbour? How unoriginal. Used for people who love each other being able to get married. Seriously? Perspective and sense of proportion?

    Oh well, again, suck shit homophobes! This is for for you

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC75aU47GRk

    Except played on the world’s smallest violion – hey, I can mix metaphors I’m drunk enough to do it and have it sound good!

  • StevoR

    t is a day on which behavior which is an abomination in the eyes of a holy God was normalized, promoted, celebrated and ..

    That supposedly all powerful holy god couldn’t do a thing to stop it and those claiming to act in his name failed miserably and looked really stupid and pathetic? Yeah. Go figure!

  • http://Reallyawakeguy.blogspot.com somnus

    Nobody imposed gay marriage on anybody. Everyone in the country is just as free to not get gay married today as they were Thursday.

  • dingojack

    We the people have ceased to be our own rulers and are now serfs on a plantation run by cultural elites wearing black robes who use their gavels like the slaveholders of old used whips, to lash uppity social conservatives into abject submission.

    Wait now.

    First you Right Wing Religious types wanted to use racist memes and tropes to keep black people subjugated, humiliated and powerless. Then you used them to keep their emerging power bounded, controlled and safe, allowing only so much ‘revolution’, just enough not to pose a threat to your power. Keeping ‘them’ in ‘their place’, safe from being seen as capable, talented, human beings in their own right (including amongst many others, the twice elected President of the US).

    Meanwhile, you turned those same cycles of oppressive and manipulative word games onto the LGBT community (as well as other groups) for the same ends…

    But having lost that argument too, through having no argument at all but those of the school-yard bully, NOW you turn the same verbal lash onto yourselves, and then falsely accuse the very people you oppressed so cruelly for wielding it —

    and you want, demand and expect us to pity you?!?

    Well tough shit.

    We give you no more than you deserve. Not hatred but laughter, not cold violence but loving care, not prurient hyper-vigilance but contemptuous non-interest.

    We’re no longer afraid of you. You’re nothing.

    Dingo

  • whheydt

    SteveR beat me to it…”A day that shall live in infamy” refers to Dec. 7, 1941. (And probably more to point, given who is using it, said by a Democratic president.)

  • Freodin

    Isn’t it the right-wingers that like to claim that slavery wasn’t so bad, was like a family between slaves and slave-owners, was the best thing that ever happned to the blacks… who were so much happier when they were slaves?

    So what are they whining about?

    Oh, I guess consistency was never their strong part.

  • theguy

    Adolf Fischsticks has advocated prison sentences for anyone who engages in gay sex. Prison sentences for anyone who advocates gay rights, or for anyone who blasphemes. The degenerate fascist murderer/torturer wanna-be needs to shut the fuck up.

  • Jared James

    Remember when the AFA fired/not fired him but let him keep his radio show, on their dime, at their station, his access to the official Twitter feed, his “personal” Twitter feed, his stationery, his stapler, and his autographed George Wallace inkwell?

    Yeah, me either. It was so long ago.

  • howardhershey

    And God will undoubtedly punish America for this abomination by sending tornados through Oklahoma and Kansas and hurricanes along the Gulf Coast.

  • thebookofdave

    On this day, June 26, 2015, five justices of the Supreme Court became moral jihadists who blasted the twin pillars of truth and righteousness into rubble.

    Fortunately, their primary target was obscured, forcing them to divert to the twin towers of bigotry and oppression.

  • Synfandel

    Mr. Fischer, we won’t go around referring to your ‘coitus-based marriage’ if you will stop using the term ‘sodomy-based marriage’. Deal?

  • dhall

    Pearl Harbor and the Twin Towers. What, nothing about the Great San Francisco Earthquake? Mt. St. Helens? The Great Galveston Hurricane? 1964 Anchorage Quake? Hurricane Andrew? Nothing?

  • khms

    From a moral standpoint, 6/26 has become our 9/11.

    For a better match, try “Vietnam”. Or if you prefer a non-war event of approximately the same time, “Watergate” will do.

    On this day, June 26, 2015, five justices of the Supreme Court became moral jihadists who blasted the twin pillars of truth and righteousness into rubble.

    I’m pretty certain it were just four. Let’s see, Roberts, Scalia, Thomas, Alito – yup, four.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Nobody imposed gay marriage on anybody. Everyone in the country is just as free to not get gay married today as they were Thursday.

    Not only that, somnus. A whole day has passed and I have yet to receive a single propoosal.

  • D. C. Sessions

    My favorite part of cons freakin out over the court – their repeated complaint that the judges aren’t elected.

    Well, to be fair they’re at least consistent. Their volcanic outrage over Shelby County was epic.

  • Al Dente

    sigurd jorsalfar @16

    Nobody imposed gay marriage on anybody. Everyone in the country is just as free to not get gay married today as they were Thursday.

    Not only that, somnus. A whole day has passed and I have yet to receive a single propoosal.

    Not only that, but my wife and I are still married to each other.

  • D. C. Sessions

    I do wish they’d tell us which of the Ten Commandments are being violated by SSM [1]. Or, failing that, devote at least as much public-rant time to the United States’ failure to enforce the ones about worshiping other gods and blasphemy.

    [1] I’ve been repeatedly told that those are the only really important ones that are still binding after the Jesus Amendments.

  • azpaul3

    You’re all missing it.

    This court decision is a punishment from god. It’s a punishment upon the fundamentalist conservative christian for being an asshole.

  • thebookofdave

    Not only that, but my wife and I are still married to each other.

    Don’t get complacent, Al Dente. Today, I woke to the disturbing realization that I was no longer married. Of course, my wife and I divorced in 1996, but that kind of retroactive effect just makes gay-marriage that much more dangerous. Thanks, Obama!

  • longship

    @6 DingoJack:

    Well played. Very well played. As is expected of you.

  • jaybee

    I think Fischer has no idea how many of his hetero audience are also sodomites, especially if one uses one of the more open definitions for the word:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodomy

    I also suspect that his sodomite listeners don’t get upset at Fisher’s words because they don’t literally know what it means. To them, it just means “perverted gay sex”.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Al Dente @18 that’s government bureaucracy for you. It will probably be 6 months to a year before we start getting our marital reassignment orders.

  • blf

    Not only that but… I just now realized I’m still in Teh Land of Frog†-eating‡ Surrender Monkeys.

     †  Not to be confusing with the inhabitants.

     ‡  Also snail-eating. But since I ate snails as part of my lunch, that clearly doesn’t count.

  • Markita Lynda—threadrupt

    I really, really hope that those whiners lose all credibility when the rest of the coitus-based practising heterosexuals realized that Not Much Has Changed.

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    I don’t know about Bryan Fischer’s tears, but a friend of mine on Facebook has posted a recipe for Scalia’s Tears:

    One 6.8 oz bottle of bitter lemon

    1.5 oz gin

    0.5 oz Campari

    Bitter, and yet so sweet. Serve in a martini glass to make a pink triangle.

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    “That supposedly all powerful holy god couldn’t do a thing to stop it and those claiming to act in his name failed miserably and looked really stupid and pathetic?” — SteveR

    Not only that, in one of the decisions before Loving reached the Supreme Court one of the judges said that God had placed the races on their different continents to prevent the abomination of interracial unions. But then He went and allowed man to invent boats and airplanes, thwarting his perfect scheme.