Harvey: Emancipate Us From Sodomy!

Linda Harvey, one of most deranged of all the anti-gay right-wing bigots, says that the real symbol of oppression is the rainbow flag, which those lousy gay people totally stole from God. And she wishes another Lincoln would come along and issue an Emancipation Proclamation from sodomy.

Proud homosexuals don’t love God. They take pride in disobedience. Therefore, these rebels have no right to the rainbow, period.

So, let’s demand that no more rainbow flags fly above our federal agencies. No more hateful colors on our embassies, or on the Pentagon website. And it’s time for retailers with a conscience to stop selling rainbow- adorned “gay” merchandise and show respect and sensitivity to the outcry of concerned families and parents.

Yeah, fuck their sensitivity.

If only we had that kind of leadership now in Washington as we had in Abraham Lincoln, a Republican, who delivered the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863.

We need an Emancipation Proclamation now to free America from the tyranny of sodomy.

I know, right? Remember when gay people enslaved all the straight people and bought and sold them among one another? And when they beat them and threw them in jail and forced them to commit sodomy? Yeah, neither do I. But Linda Harvey does, apparently. Hey Linda, you know how you can be free from sodomy? Don’t engage in sodomy. Voila, problem solved.

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • marcozandrini

    Hey lady (and I use that word loosely), if you don’t like sodomy, then sit down and keep you mouth closed. See how easy that is.

  • DonDueed

    But, but, not engaging in sodomy is so harrrd!

  • blf

    And [remember] when [Teh Gay] beat [Teh Straight] and threw them in jail and forced them to commit sodomy?

    In those days, the gaols were tastefully decorated and the forcing consisted of a good meal with a nice bottle of vin. Clearly unbearable torment — Where is the stripey suits, blacksnake whips, inedible goop, and heavy clunky chains that make gaol such an enjoyable and to-be-repeated experience ?

  • John Pieret

    We need an Emancipation Proclamation now to free America from the tyranny of sodomy.

    I have been personally enslaving CHristians since Friday. It involves thinking that they are assholes and then walking away.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    … no right to the rainbow…

    Dibs on show tune title for forthcoming Exorcist of Oz movie!

  • blf

    I have been personally enslaving CHristians since Friday. It involves thinking that they are assholes and then walking away.

    That doesn’t sound too effective. They are told they are aresholes — “sinners” — every Sunday. At least. If they bother to go to required tithing.

    To actually enslave xians, I suggest dressing in a fabulous style. They proves you are about to be sodomizeenslave them. Whether or not they will meekly follow, as they are trained to do, is somewhat more problematic; sticking a holey babble on hook and dangling it before their nose from a fishing rod like a carrot might do the trick…

  • dan4

    What is it with the berserk attitude of conservatives (generally speaking) towards sodomy? It’s just a sexual position, yet it seems to drive them up the friggin’ wall. Replace the word where they use it with “rape” or “murder”, and it almost always would not change the logic or tone of the sentence one bit.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Replace the word where they use it with “rape” or “murder”, and it almost always would not change the logic or tone of the sentence one bit.

    Oh, yes it would. “Rape,” for instance, causes yawns. “Murder” causes elevated pulse rates and drooling.

    Well, OK, in some cases you can’t tell about the drooling. Still.

  • dingojack

    And it’s time for retailers with a conscience to stop selling rainbow- adorned “gay” merchandise and show respect and sensitivity to the outcry of concerned families and parents.”

    Linda — firstly, imagine you’re an owner of a retail outlet. Would you lose all those potential sales? Bearing in mind that, according to the latest survey, some 70% of your customers are (at least) neutral to gay merchandise (why do you feel the need to place gay in scare quotes, and how would one define gay merchandise anyway? Are there gay toothbrushes, gay toilet paper, gay Cheerios?) Probably, based on the turn-out to various anti-gay protests of late, only a fraction of one thousandth of one percent of potential customers would even care enough to mildly offended by your so-called gay merchandise anyway. (And once they come in to complain about it, it’s the perfect opportunity to sell them some of those gay Cheerios!)

    Secondly, you want the government to be able control the products that retailers are permitted to sell? Doesn’t sound very free-market & free-speech to me. Perhaps to should re-consider your position (such as it is).

    Dingo

    ———

    Pierce R. Butler (#5) – ‘great, just what we need. Another cock in a frock on a rock’. 😉

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    @dan4

    Because some idiot in the 4th century somehow conflated a sexual position with the actual sin of Sodom, which was mistreatment of strangers. Since then, they’ve been afraid that anything other than missionary position will bring God’s wrath down on them, just like the city of Sodom.

    The Christian misunderstanding of the story of Lot and Sodom and Gomorrah has made me angry for years. While it says that mistreating strangers is bad (something I agree with.) It speaks approvingly of Lot offering his daughters up to be raped and then again speaks approvingly of incest. All-in-all, not a story that I’d want to take moral guidance from. I can be nice to strangers without all the other crap.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    You laugh now, but wait until Obama and his Congress enact the Fugitive Straight Act.

  • dingojack

    Linda – Prop-tip: if you’re afraid of sodomy, quit acting like an asshole.

    Dingo

  • thebookofdave

    I don’t know why Harvey is appealing to Lincoln. He drove hundreds of thousands of lives to their ruin in that ceaseless Republican crusade: the subjugation of states rights. Is that your role model, Linda?

  • Synfandel

    Chances are, of course, that Ms Harvey has tried, and possibly quite enjoys, sodomy. But it has to be the Biblical sodomy between one and one woman, as God intended.

  • dingojack

    Synfandel – even god thinks Linda should go take a flying fuck at herself!?!

    Dingo

  • theguy

    “No more hateful colors on our embassies”

    You hear that, South Carolina? Take down the Confederate rag!

  • John Pieret

    but wait until Obama and his Congress enact the Fugitive Straight Act.

    Modus, you are a national treasure!

  • bobmunck

    Apparently there’s a fairly widespread belief that spraying ammonia in your back yard will neutralize and disperse chemtrails 30,000 feet above you. Perhaps there’s an equivalent liquid you can spray to destroy rainbows. Windex, maybe?

  • busterggi

    Time for the Christian soldiers to pull out.

  • blf

    bobmunck@18, I’m not sure — I didn’t delve into any of the chemtrail nuttery sites to check — but I think you may be a bit off there. The sense I got from skimming the search results is the nutter’s possibly-common belief is Ammonia is somehow part of the reaction which generates the chemtrails, and/or a component of the chemtrails.

    But on to more serious matters…

    I think liquefied nutter disposes of, not only the nutters, but also the rainbows. At least until the little folk at the ends of rainbows dry off and wipe away all the smelly liquidNuttergook™. (Not sure how they dispose of the liquidNuttergook™, I suppose that may be the secret ingredient in chemtrails?)

  • anubisprime

    Seems that being so obsessed about sodomy kindda gives valid reason to assume that the bunnies are just a wee bit butt hurt by SCOTUS to such an extent that they can only bleat about the act that rendered them sore and sad!

    They were never really any good at being able to differentiate b’twixt’n’ b’tween reality and their own fetid but narrow imagination, this is just another example, just one of many with more still to come no doubt.

  • bobmunck

    blf@20 You’re quite right, my mistake. It was vinegar, not ammonia. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsdeAF_Prfo

    I don’t know how I could make such a mistake. I’m thinking maybe balsamic might be able to rid us of rainbows.

  • D. C. Sessions

    bobmunck@22:

    Dunno ’bout rainbows, but we’ll have a go at basalmic on the garden patio this summer. It’ll go nicely with the basil and other herbs, sauvignon blanc, some fresh-baked bread and mozzarella. And the best time to do that is after a monsoon thunderstorm, so we’ll watch for the rainbows to see if your recipe makes a difference.

  • thebookofdave

    Spare your balsamic for word salad, bobmunck. White vinegar works just as well, and it’s cheap enough to buy by the 30-gallon barrel. Your neighbors may complain, but rainbow and chemtrail producers won’t be able to keep up.

  • peterh

    What seems to steam these nutters is simple: they ain’t gettin’ any.

  • marcus

    Yes I was captured and forced to engage in unspeakable acts of homoloving for hours and hours and then… and then…

    Oh never mind it was just a dream… *sigh*

  • Azkyroth, B*Cos[F(u)]==Y

    But sodomy is fun D:

  • dingojack

    “(Not sure how they dispose of the liquidNuttergook™, I suppose that may be the secret ingredient in chemtrails?)”

    “Curses, you’ve discovered the secret of me lucky charms!!” – Lucky the Leprechaun.

    Dingo

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    I thought those people were AGAINST unilateral executive orders. Aren’t these some of the same people who called Lincoln’s EP “tyranny?”

    And in any case, we already have something better: actual laws, passed by elected legislators, forbidding forcible sodomy and allowing people to refuse to participate in it. And so far, there’ve been no “judicial activists” striking down such laws. So what are these wingnuts complaining about?