Poor Ann Coulter — No One Reacts to Her Anymore

One of the problems with being a ridiculous troll person is having to constantly one-up yourself. If wild exaggerations, distortions and lies are your stock-in-trade, you have to keep pushing the envelope. And now my former colleague Annie Lowrey reports that Ann Coulter is disappointed that she has largely lost her ability to get attention by being a textual shock jock.

Nobody is paying attention to Ann Coulter, and she does not like it.

“They’re ignoring me now!” Coulter wails, sitting in a conference room at the National Press Club in Washington as a large crowd filters in to hear her promote her new book, ¡Adios, America!.

“I haven’t been on CNN yet, because I was made up, my hair was done, I was mic’ed up, I was walking to the set,” where Don Lemon was anchoring, she said. “He was doing a full hour on the Doogans or whatever their name is,” she said, referring to the Duggars. Given the interest in one Duggar son’s confession of molestation, the network ended up bumping her segment. “The next night, ‘We’re going to do all Doogans again.’ And then the next week, it’s the cop who yelled at a girl in a bikini! And then it’s Bruce Jenner!”

This is the lament of a woman who became a national political celebrity by stoking outrage — who rose up alongside the cable-television networks and conservative talk-radio, needling liberals and flattering conservatives with a potent mix of hilarity, bombast, and the occasional dash of racism. This is the lament of a woman who has written an outrageous book, one immaculately designed to piss off half of America, or more. This is the lament of a woman living in a time of outrage, outrage that spreads viruslike on Twitter, television, and Facebook. This is the lament of a woman who has found herself unable to capitalize on that outrage…

But thus far, Coulter has found herself struggling to annoy, enrage, and otherwise provoke the mainstream media or the left. Bloggers have left her alone. Twitter has left her alone. The networks have left her alone. “Nobody will debate me!” she said. “There’s been no ABC, NBC, CBS for me on this book! This is my 11th New York Times best-seller. I write them myself! I research them myself! I’m the female Bob Woodward! If I were a liberal, I couldn’t write another book, I’d be so busy collecting awards! I’d be posing for the cover of Vanity Fair!”…

That is the thing about Coulter: It has long been obvious that the provocation is deliberate, and the persona at least in part an act. Coulter bristles a little at this when I suggest it. “I’m not trying to stoke outrage,” she said. “If there were no liberals in the world, I would write the exact same book. If there were no media in the world, I would write the exact same book. I want to keep it interesting for my readers, and interesting for me!” But a few breaths later, she admits that she “loves arguing,” and says that it was much more fun to be a partisan media figure a decade ago, back when her antagonists on the other side took the bait. “Liberals decided it’s much better not to play outraged with me anymore,” she said. “I sell lots of books that way.”

Good. Ignore her and let her preach only to a choir of very sad people.

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  • colnago80

    As I have stated many times on this blog, a former boy friend of ole Annie was quoted as saying that she didn’t believe 90% of the crap that comes out of her word processor or her mouth. She does it because it is profitable. As they say, follow the money.

    Her current problem is that she is reluctant to compete with folks like Michael Savage who are the darlings of the Reich wing these days. It’s a tough world out there and the competition is fierce.

  • http://www.holytape.etsy.com holytape

    Here other problem is that she titled her book, ‘ ¡Adios, America!’. Real Americans ain’t readin’ no foreign words. If American was good enuff for Jesus, its good enuff for me.

  • tbp1

    I’m only exaggerating slightly when I say I was a little surprised to discover that she is still alive.

  • caseloweraz

    “They’re ignoring me now!” Coulter wails, sitting in a conference room at the National Press Club in Washington as a large crowd filters in to hear her promote her new book, ¡Adios, America!

    Ann Coulter is going to leave the country? She’s heading south of the border to some Spanish-speaking regime? ¡Ojala!

    Yeah, I know; that’s just wishful thinking. But her book sales are falling, yes? Anyone have the numbers?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    tbp1 “I’m only exaggerating slightly when I say I was a little surprised to discover that she is still alive.”

    Sure, but she’s always been dead inside.

  • caseloweraz

    Colnago80: She does it because it is profitable.

    Indeed she does, and I wonder (slightly) what she’s done with all the profits she’s racked up over the years.

  • doublereed

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.

    I’m pretty that’s an Onion article title: “Troll Sad That Nobody Feeds Her.”

  • blf

    The Reptilian replacement for the original Ms Coulter made a mistake and got itself noticed. This so annoyed the Trilateral Comission, Illuminati, and other usual suspects they arranged Benghazi as a distraction so the replacement Reptilian could itself be replaced…

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Ever since my doctor put me on that new anti-histamine a few years ago I never react to anncoulter any more either.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    Who needs Ann Coulter when we have Sarah Palin doing the same schtick with more intelligence and authority since 2008?

    Seriously, can Ann Coulter see Russia from her house? I rest my case.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    “Nobody will debate me!” she said. “There’s been no ABC, NBC, CBS for me on this book! This is my 11th New York Times best-seller. I write them myself! I research them myself! I’m the female Bob Woodward! If I were a liberal, I couldn’t write another book, I’d be so busy collecting awards! I’d be posing for the cover of Vanity Fair!”…

    Holy crap, is she even serious? She sounds like she’s literally parodying herself.

    “If there were no liberals in the world, I would write the exact same book. If there were no media in the world, I would write the exact same book…

    Did she just admit she makes shit up about liberals and the media regardless of what happens in the real world?

  • caseloweraz

    Coulter: “If there were no liberals in the world, I would write the exact same book.

    Funny, I don’t think books like Godless: The Church of Nobody on Earth or How to Talk to No Person (If you Must) would sell at all well.

  • sharonb

    Well, the bloom is off the rose, so to speak. All she has left is the thorns.

    80% of her appeal to the RWNJ patriarchy was was the starbursts.

    They don’t find dried husks that arousing.

  • Lady Mondegreen

    This is my 11th New York Times best-seller. I write them myself! I research them myself!

    Yes, and conservative organizations buy them in bulk and give them away, which is how they become best sellers. As I’m sure this dishonest hack well knows.

    http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2010_12/027281.php

  • coffeehound

    “I write them myself! I research them myself! “. She says, as though her “research” is something to be proud of, like a 3 year old pointing at her accomplishment floating in the bowl. And how much work is it to quote yourself, anyway?

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    But, but… she wrote the book all by herself! All her parents did was type it up!

  • http://robinlionheart.blogspot.com/ Robin Lionheart

    “a potent mix of hilarity, bombast, and the occasional dash of racism”?

    I’ve seen bombast and racism, but am not coming up with any examples of hilarity. Like what? (Hey, it’s not completely impossible. You wouldn’t know it now, but Dennis Miller used to be funny sometimes.)

  • dingojack

    Coulter: “If there were no liberals in the world, I would write the exact same book.”

    So what are you saying Ann? If not for sane people pointing out the glaring idiocy of egregious falsehoods you are pleased to call ‘writing’, you’d write exactly the same bullshit over and over, secure in the ‘knowledge’ that the rubes will ‘buy it’ (Except, they don’t, do they Ann? They have to give your ‘books’ away, for doorstops, props for wonky tables, stands for pot-plants and the like. And now they can’t even to manage to do that.)

    Time to retire to Mexico, Ann. (It’s cheaper and you need to save the pennies…)

    Dingo

  • skinnercitycyclist

    Robin Lionheart @17, I think the word “hilarity” is used advisedly here. Here prose attempts humor, but since she is usually punching down, it just comes off as mean and deeply unfunny. “Hilarity” to me kind of implies mindless laughing and smiling such as game-show hosts engage in. Sounds like Coulter to me.