Sen. Inhofe and the Anonymous Gay Friends

There are two levels of absurd often offered by bigoted public officials. The first, of course, is “but I have black (or gay, or female, or Muslim, etc) friends!” Even more absurd is when they claim that those anonymous friends agree with their bigotry, as Sen. James Inhofe just did:

Sen. James Inhofe (R) told KJRH that the U.S. Supreme Court is “A very liberal court and we saw what happened last week,” referring to an earlier court decision allowing the Affordable Care Act to continue forward.

Adding, “They haven’t ruled right on anything in a long time,” Inhofe turned to Friday’s landmark decision making same sex marriage the law of the land, saying he has gay friends who agreed with him that it was decided improperly.

“I’ve been disappointed, and I was not surprised. I thought they would rule the way they did. I know a lot of people, actually a lot of people who are friends of mine in the gay community, who also think it was a bad decision,” he explained.

Hey, I have black friends who love sitting on the back of the bus.

I know lots of women who love having ultrasound wands inserted into them for no reason.

I have some dear Muslim friends who love being profiled and considered to be terrorists without evidence.

Dear Sen. Inhofe —

Most of us stopped having imaginary friends around age 8. You might consider growing the hell up now.

Signed,

Reality

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
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  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    “Sen. Inhofe and the Anonymous Gay Friends”

    J K Rowling has started writing political books now???

  • bmiller

    I know there are people who are conservative yet gay, even though I myself cannot comprehend the concept of a Log Cabin Reepublican. But what self-respecting gay person would be friends with the likes of this bigoted theocrat?

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    My gay friends say your gay friends are idiots.

  • StevoR

    Inhofe – in denial on so much more than just climate!

    (He has form on this too :

    http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2006/06/06/5669/inhofe-gay-marriage/

    Aaand reading tha last line there I’ve just discovered he’s even worse than I thought. Not surprised.

  • grumpyoldfart

    I know a lot of people, actually a lot of people who are friends of mine in the gay community, who also think it was a bad decision.

    You know a lot of people in the gay community — name seventeen.

  • StevoR

    @ 1. richardelguru : I’d love to see what JK Rowling would do to this storyand how it would end. Sadly, I fear the magic is really just that Inhofe’s Anonymous Gay friends can have permanently turned themselves invisible and are about as easily found as unicorns.

    Or maybe they are just so deep in the closet they can not only see Narnia but are off on the Dawn Treaders loti filled ocean..

  • dingojack

    “Most of us stopped having imaginary friends around age 8. You might consider growing the hell up now.”

    And here was I thinking Americans identified themselves as:

    70.6% Christian

    1.9% Jewish

    0.9% Muslim

    0.7% Buddhist

    0.7% Hindu

    0.3% Other world religions

    1.5% other faiths…

    😉 Dingo

  • billydee

    To be fair, wouldn’t you imagine, that, if he really did have gay friends, they would be just as stupid and bigoted as he is?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    n. Inhofe and the Anonymous Gay Friends

    Dibs on band name!

  • regexp

    None of my conservative or liberal gay friends were against marriage equality. Its the one thing that they all agreed on. There are a Ayn Rand types who believe the state should get out of marriage entirely but no one I know had an issue with ruling. And being gay I bet I know a few more gay people than Sen. Inhofe.

  • regexp

    @bmiller

    I know there are people who are conservative yet gay, even though I myself cannot comprehend the concept of a Log Cabin Reepublican. But what self-respecting gay person would be friends with the likes of this bigoted theocrat?

    You are mixing up two different viewpoints. There is believing in free market principles and there is being friends with this idiot. There is a difference.

  • blf

    You know a lot of people in the gay community — name seventeen.

    He’d have to take off his socks, and the effort of counting would cause him to forget mostall the names. And then in any case, his hewing and spewing would emit so much noxious toxic waste into the atmosphere the interview would be abandoned, and we’d never get a name.

  • moarscienceplz

    Justice Clarence Thomas (pssst – he’s black!) did just write, “Slaves did not lose their dignity (any more than they lost their humanity) because the government allowed them to be enslaved.”

    So there’s that.

    Although I’d like Justice Thomas to spend this summer bent over in a hot cotton field while an overseer liberally uses a horse-whip on him, and then repeat his remarks.

  • Donnie

    @9 Modusoperandi says

    June 29, 2015 at 12:29 pm

    n. Inhofe and the Anonymous Gay Friends

    Dibs on band name!

    Inhofe and the Anonymous Gay Friends feat. Modusoperandi ????

  • Sastra

    I know a lot of people, actually a lot of people who are friends of mine in the gay community, who also think it was a bad decision,” he explained.

    I don’t know — maybe. I wouldn’t be too sure he’s lying here. A surprising number of people really do seem to value harmony, friendliness and making a big show of being ‘nonconfrontational’ — even over principles you’d think they’d stick to for their own benefit if nothing else. But being the “nice one” who happily compromises in order to get along can apparently look like a principled stance to the determined Moderate, one courageously adopted on the assumption that the truth is always going to be somewhere in the middle and gee, isn’t it better to be sensitive and respectful to all sides?

    I would guess that for Inhofe most of the people who are “friends of mine in the gay community” have sought out his approval for some personal agenda or another on their part. Could be a need to be “nice (or “Christian”),” could be some legal bee in their bonnet, could be nothing more than “I’m friends with a real live senator and I live in a bubble.”

  • marcus

    He’s friends with Dolce and Gabbana?! He certainly doesn’t dress like it!

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    I have a lot of friends in the bigot community who think Inhofe is full of shit.

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    @ Modus,

    Sen. Inhofe and the Anonymous Gay Friends sounds more like one of those celebrity Scooby Doo episodes.

    Sen. Inhofe keeps hearing spooky noises in his office after hours, and the ghost hunters are put on the job. The only clues are puddles of Santorum found in various locations in the Senate building. After the elaborately overthought-out trap doesn’t work but the two fiends are trapped in the mud-wrestling pit.* Shaggy pulls off the wigs and we see that our anonymous gay friends are …

    Drats, it’s a two-part episode, you’ll have to tune in next week, kids.

    * How a mud-wrestling pit got in his office, I’ll never know.

  • Hoosier X

    “Yes, Senator Inhofe! You are so right about same-sex marriage … just like you are right about everything! Please calm down and don’t hurt us.”

  • http://teethofthebuzzsaw.blogspot.com Leo Buzalsky

    @4 StevoR

    Wow! That was 9 years ago already?!? Just what I needed for my birthday…a reminder that I’m getting old. :)

  • Mobius

    As an Oklahoman, I sincerely apologize.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Mobius “As an Oklahoman, I sincerely apologize.”

    I was Oklahoman, back when I was a superhero.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    modus what was your super power?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    sigurd jorsalfar, supermosey. I could saunter faster than the human eye could detect.