Wingnut Pastor: Gays Will Force Us to Have Sex With Them!

Ah, the hysteria is really hitting a fever pitch now. David Barton welcomed Tim Brooks, a pastor from Arkansas, on his Wallbuilders radio show and Brooks declared that gay people won’t stop until they can force Christians to have sex with them, just like that fictitious story from the Bible.

On “WallBuilders Live” today, Arkansas pastor Tim Brooks spent most of the program saying that America today is just like Sodom and Gomorrah in which militant gays seek to force Christians to participate in their sin.

“Here is the only thing that will satisfy this agenda, and it’s very clear: participation,” Brooks declared. “We want you to come out of your house and participate with us … Lot never tried to force his lifestyle on them, he never even brought that up. They are trying to force their lifestyle on him, come out and have sex with us, have to participate. They’re going to force participation and that’s what we’re seeing around the country.”

Brooks went on to cite a similar story from Judges 19 to warn that it becomes “unsafe when the homosexual agenda takes over a city.”

Oh hell, that’s nothing man. You just wait. Next comes polygamy, then bestiality. They’re going to make you have sex with dogs and goats and stuff too. It’s all right there in the fine print of the Supreme Court ruling last week.

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  • Knight in Sour Armor

    Ok… this sort of thing makes me wonder: do they really believe this nonsense? Or is Poe’s Law in effect?

  • Mobius

    Who in the world would want to have sex with these people?

  • Nemo

    He wishes.

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    Yet again, a supposedly straight fundamentalist obsessing over gay sex more than any gay person around.

  • scienceavenger

    Lot never tried to force his lifestyle on them, he never even brought that up. They are trying to force their lifestyle on him, come out and have sex with us…

    So Lot instead sent his daughters out to be gang raped, in the spirit of an old George Carlin joke: “Do what you want to the girls, but leave me alone.” Because that’s so much better.

  • colnago80

    In other news, Obama has announced that the US embassy in Havana and the Cuban embassy in Washington will shortly be open for business, indicating a resumption of diplomatic relations. This should really cause the Reich wing whackjobs like Barton heartburn and frothing at the mouth.

  • raven

    Who in the world would want to have sex with these people?

    They use their personalities as a form of birth control.

  • dingojack

    I heard they had to throw to a record because all that pleading and begging by Pastor Tim not to have hot sweaty man-sex with him was too much for Barton and they just had to do it right there, right then.

    Then santorum appeared…

    😉 Dingo

  • John Pieret

    They’re going to make you have sex with dogs and goats and stuff too. It’s all right there in the fine print of the Supreme Court ruling last week.

    I’m not sure if this makes that funnier or less so:

    Tom DeLay appeared on Newsmax TV yesterday, where he told host Steve Malzberg that, just as he had predicted, all Hell is now breaking loose because of the Supreme Court ruling striking down gay marriage bans. Things are now so out of control, DeLay said, that he even knows about a “secret memo” from the Justice Department aimed at legalizing “12 new perversions,” including bestiality and pedophilia.

    “We’ve already found a secret memo coming out of the Justice Department,” DeLay claimed. “They’re now going to go after 12 new perversions, things like bestiality, polygamy, having sex with little boys and making that legal. Not only that, but they have a whole list of strategies to go after the churches, the pastors, and any businesses that tries to assert their religious liberty. This is coming and it’s coming like a tidal wave.”

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/tom-delay-knows-secret-doj-memo-legalize-12-new-perversions-including-bestiality-and-pedophi#sthash.VuQ17OKZ.dpuf

  • http://Www.metalmischief.com YOB – Ye Olde Blacksmith (Social Justice Jaegerkin)

    They’re going to force participation

    I guess I’d be fine with that if it wasn’t for all the damned glitter and fabulousness.

    I’m a middle aged white guy from Texas. There is only so much fabulousness I can take.

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    @John Pieret

    Ah yes, the “secret” evidence that, for some reason, can’t be shown to the public. But we can certainly trust DeLay to always tell the truth. He’d never like about something like that and they couldn’t put it on TV if it wasn’t true. Right?

  • http://Www.metalmischief.com YOB – Ye Olde Blacksmith (Social Justice Jaegerkin)

    We’ve already found a secret memo coming out of the Justice Department,”

    They found it next to the Trumpster’s secret plan for ISIS and Beck’s secrets and etc.

    You’d think they would be publishing the shit out of a memo like that and it’s source, and yet nothing. Hmmmm… I’m starting to think they fib a little sometimes.

  • Knight in Sour Armor

    Well it would be nice if we opened the door for non-misogynous polygamy for the polyamorists out there that want it. If we’ve opened that door, so be it.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    “Here is the only thing that will satisfy this agenda, and it’s very clear: participation,” Brooks declared. “We want you to come out of your house and participate with us …

    In the good old days the Catholic Church was the only institution that forced participation in gay sex, but now the entire government is in on it, just like in Canada. When will we libs ever learn that equality doesn’t work?

  • grumpyoldfart

    My god-fearing greengrocer very sensibly slices all cucumbers purchased by women – otherwise who knows what they will get up to.

  • sharonb

    More examples of CONSERVATIVE liars lying. It is a sacrament of their churches.

  • dingojack

    grumpyoldfart – PIKER!

    He should refuse to sell them any cucumbers for fear they might —

    Make sandwiches [shudders in horror!]*

    Dingo

    ———

    * Then he should whine and set up a GoFundMyBigotry account when the Ebul Gubberment forces him to sell them or be fined [Shudders again in horror, clutches pearls] for breaking discrimination law he’d rather ignore. [faints, misses fainting couch, coils on floor!] @@

  • briandavis

    It sounds like Tom Delay pointed his browser at doj.xxx instead of doj.gov.

  • abb3w

    Apparently someone doesn’t understand that’s not what the idiom “Blow me” is intended to convey.

  • Die Anyway

    > “Next comes polygamy, then bestiality. They’re going to make you have sex with dogs and goats and stuff too.”

    Oh Ed, now you’re just teasing me.

    As for polygamy, why not? It’s the same “consenting adult” thing as any other relationship. More complicated? Sure. We might need to require a pre-nuptial agreement with certain legal language, but that might not be a bad idea for monogamous marriages too.

  • ‘smee

    DIngo @ 8: then santorum appeared LMAO… literally!

    YOB @ 10: Glitter is the worst! It gets everywhere, and last time it gave me such a rash!

    Dingo @ 17: [faints, misses fainting couch, coils on floor!] Why would there be coils on the floor? Of what? IS there some kink here that I’ve not been told about? WE MUST KNOW! (if only to protect the children!)

    Die Anyway @ 20: Polygamy is bad… because it is! If there are two men, then that means I might see a willy! (ick) If there are two women, they might like each other more than me and DIVORCE ME!

    Besides, Americans barely fit into king size beds as it it! We’d have to convert the entire basement into a mattress just to get some space! And who is going to clean those sheets, hmmm?

  • D. C. Sessions

    Ok… this sort of thing makes me wonder: do they really believe this nonsense?

    I’m sure some do. Far more don’t really trust it, but it’s a confirmatory fairy tale that hits all of the right primitive buttons. Revs the old motor, and — this is the best part — zings the dopamine leaving them wanting another fix.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Knight in Sour Armor “Ok… this sort of thing makes me wonder: do they really believe this nonsense?”

    They don’t have to believe; they only have to “believe”. Consider it a tribal marker, denoting “Us” and “Them”.

     

    “Or is Poe’s Law in effect?”

    The Supreme Court did decide it was Constitutional…

     

    Nemo “He wishes.”

    He leaves an appletini outside his door and everything!

     

    John Pieret “12 new perversions”

    Band name!

  • dingojack

    MO – they don’t have to actually believe — just as long as they say it’s ‘sincerely held’ the court’s will never seriously ask.

    ’12 New Perversions Before Breakfast’ – the new eau de boudoir from MO Industries PTY. LTD

    Dingo

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    having sex with little boys

    There is so much that is so telling in that phrase. They only worry about little girls when a trans woman wants to use a public washroom (and oddly enough, they rarely seem to worry about little boys using the same public washrooms as all those sexual predators lurking around).

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    John Pieret “12 new perversions”

    Band name!

    I call drums.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    The story mentioned in passing from Judges 19 is really gross.

    Short version: a man from the Levite tribe retrieves his straying concubine from her father’s house, attempts to return home with her, but at nightfall cannot find an inn in the town of Gibeah. An old man invites them into his house, but a crowd of “certain sons of Belial” gathers outside the door “… saying, Bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him.” The host offers them his own daughter and the traveler’s concubine, whom they then “know” all night; in the morning the traveler finds the concubine dead outside the door. He takes her body home, cuts it into 12 pieces, and FedExes one to each of the Hebrew tribes; for unstated reasons the tribe of Benjamin sides with Gibeah and all the others go to war against Gibeah, with express approval of “the Lord™”. The G & B team wins the first two days’ battles, the 11-pack slaughters them all on the third day. After much lamenting about the Hebrew-on-Hebrew violence, all is patched up with a joint attack on Jabeshgilead, whence 400 virgins are captured to give to the surviving Benjaminites; that not being enough, they set up a raid to kidnap more women from Shiloh, which finally works out, and so they all live happily ever after. (No mention of the fates of the old man from Gibeah or his daughter.)

    A fine uplifting moral tale indeed!

  • sharonb

    I mean it’s obvious the ‘Sons of Belial’ [band name] were totally homos. That’s why they had sex with the daughter and the concubine, amirite?

  • eric13

    “This is coming and it’s coming like a tidal wave.”

    – Tom Delay – quoted by John Pieret @9

    They really can’t help themselves with the inappropriate metaphors, can they?

  • John Pieret

    There is nothing stupid that Mat Staver cannot top:

    The Department of Education, he predicted, will soon be ordering schools to tell kindergartners, “‘Hey, you need to experiment as a kindergarten with whether you’re male or female. You need to, like, have some experiments and go out and have same-sex relationships.”

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/mat-staver-kindergartners-will-be-forced-same-sex-relationships-following-supreme-court-marr

  • Juniper

    Brooks went on to cite a similar story from Judges 19 to warn that it becomes “unsafe when the homosexual agenda takes over a city.

    Yes. “Bitches ain’t shit” has always been the core principle of the “homosexual agenda”.

    Most of the wingnut meltdown over people getting one of their civil rights has been comedy gold, though.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Most of the wingnut meltdown over people getting one of their civil rights has been comedy gold, though.

    http://whatever.scalzi.com/2006/09/26/how-to-make-a-schadenfreude-pie/

    Enjoy — in moderation, of course.

  • thebookofdave

    @scienceavenger #5

    So Lot instead sent his daughters out to be gang raped

    That’s what convinces me that grifters like Tim Brooks aren’t drinking their own Kool-Aid. If they were serious about their paranoid hype, they would be packing their bags right now for a one-way trip to stay one step ahead of Gawd’s Righteous Judgment, and throwing their daughters out the door as decoys (who would be escorted from fundieland to reality by the Underground Railroad).

    @sharonb #28

    Of course. Perversion and evil are fungible. That’s how male homogays can have sex with women today, and be converted to socialists or commiefascist Muslims tomorrow. Also, let me know if your band has room for a horn section.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    thebookofdave, I was a roadie for Fungible Perversion. Odd name for a honky-tonk band, though.

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com WMDKitty — Survivor

    So they’re afraid that gay men will treat them the way they’ve been treating women?

  • anubisprime

    ‘ New perversions’….Sounds like a perfume from Dior !

    The fucktoids are really in meltdown…but let them rant on they will do far more damage to their own and their cause then any atheist backed tactic.

    Because their claims are even more ludicrous then the average jeebus sunbeam of little brain could ever process.

    It feels right and gell’s with their innate paranoid bigotry but it sounds fuckin’ stupid out aloud!

    They are rapidly making fools and clowns out of themselves that will never wash out.

    Folk will get bored and wander away to other concerns, it would be doubtful if they ever could be bothered to wander back again!

  • dingojack

    anubisprime (#36) – ’12 New Perversions Before Breakfast’ – the new eau de boudoir from MO Industries PTY. LTD.

    :) Dingo

  • dingojack

    ’12 New Perversions’: perhaps it’s a new movie collaboration between David Lynch and Terry Gilliam, from a script by E. L. James…

    😉 Dingo

  • freehand

    WMDKitty — Survivor says: So they’re afraid that gay men will treat them the way they’ve been treating women?

    .

    Yes. Projection explains much about these folks. Also, remember that their internal map of reality is a large bag of unrelated non sequitors. Given that, these claims actually make sense in light of what they’ve been taught all their lives:

    1. Morality is a list of arbitrary commands from Gawd.

    2. People are perverse and will do the nastiest things conceivable given freedom from a moral code (rules).

    3. Consent has nothing to do with any of this. (There are still US Christians who think that a man can’t rape his wife, because isn’t she his wife? Try to explain to him why he’s wrong without using a synonym for “consent”.)

    4. Most Fundamentalists cannot wrap their head around the Golden Rule, but a list of commandments is easy to grasp.)

    .

    The government, in claiming that Good Christians® can no longer make other people follow the rules, must be on the side of breaking rules. (There are always two sides. No more, no less.) Therefore, breaking all the other rules is obviously the next step.

  • Juniper

    D.C. Sessions @32 Thanks. :)

  • caseloweraz

    Right-wing evangelicals fear being forced to share sex with gay men — so they try to force everyone to share sects with evangelicals.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001345954729 Gwynnyd

    Sodomy – not what the wingnut pastor thinks it is – Ezekeiel 16:50: Although the preceding verse describes Sodom’s sins as pride, laziness, insensitivity to the needs of the poor, and haughtiness, verse 50 refers to the citizens of Sodom as having “committed abomination.” The Hebrew word “to’ebah,” translated here as “abomination,” was used throughout the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament) to refer to various ritually impure acts, such as Hebrews and Egyptians eating together, Hebrews eating lobster, shrimp, or snakes, sacrificing an animal in the temple that contained a blemish, women wearing men’s clothing (e.g. pants), a man remarrying his former wife, etc.

    http://www.religioustolerance.org/hombibg193.htm