Alabama Wingnut: Liberals Worse Than Al Qaeda

A group of Christian righters held a press conference on the steps of the Alabama state capitol on Monday to denounce the Supreme Court’s ruling on marriage equality. Chip Beeker, head of the Alabama Public Service Commission, was totally reasonable and rational about it:

Public Service Commissioner Chip Beeker told the crowd that “five unelected and unaccountable justices imposed their will on the people of Alabama and the United States.”

“This was not an interpretation of the Constitution. It was an assault on God, on Christian heritage and on our culture,” Beeker said.

“The runaway judiciary is a bigger threat to the United States than Isis. Liberal judges have done harm to our country and our constitution than Al Qaeda.”

Oh, did I say reasonable and rational? I meant hyperbolic and ridiculous.

Beeker said he expected bakeries and florists in Alabama to be ordered to provide services for “so-called same-sex weddings.”

Nope. Alabama doesn’t have any anti-discrimination laws that cover sexual orientation. It’s perfectly legal in Alabama to discriminate against gay people, mostly because of bigots like you.

Joe Godfrey, executive director of the Alabama Citizens Action Program, which lobbies the Legislature on behalf of churches, said people who attend churches that oppose same-sex marriage could be threatened with losing their jobs.

“I predict it’s going to happen when big corporations, CEOs, tell people that work as their employees, ”You know, if you keep going to that church that teaches against homosexuality, teaches what the Bible says, we’re going to have to let you go.’

“So they’re going to be forced to make a choice between a church that they attend and have been attending for years, and their job.”

Now see, that would be illegal in Alabama, and everywhere else too. Companies cannot discriminate on the basis of religion. Religious people, ironically, get “special rights” in this regard that they then seek to deny to others.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    It’s weird seeing former actors in politics. I mean, what happened to the Dr Bunsen Honeydew’s nice assistant that I remember?

  • dingojack

    “Chip Beeker, head of the Alabama Public Service Commission, was totally reasonable and rational about it:”

    MEEEP!!!

    Dingo

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    Honestly, the Muppet is more coherent than this guy. Perhaps the Alabaman is Beeker’s dumber cousin?

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    Honestly at this point I’m just waiting to read what Eignor has to say in the comments.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    I should note that he is right on one point. The runaway judiciary is a bigger threat to the United States than Isis. ISIS only wants to kill people, while judges want people to share in the Civil Rights that were our exclusive domain.

  • Loqi

    I was hit by a runaway judiciary once. Totalled my car. Fortunately there were no major injuries. Someone should put up a judiciary crossing sign on that road so we know to look for them before someone gets hurt.

  • zoboz

    I actually agree with him: This ruling, and the continued acceptance of gays, actually is a bigger threat to America than ISIS. Not the actual America, mind you – the one you and I live in – but the imagined America that he thinks he’s living in. You know, that mythical place that he believes has a Christian foundation with its laws based on the bible. In that sense, ISIS can only do limited damage with terrorist attacks here and there – that doesn’t change what we are as a nation. But gay marriage? Hell, that really does tear at the foundations of his fantasy nation. He ought to be mourning for his lost country – he’s never getting it back.

  • longship

    @theschwa and @DukeDog wouldn’t dare post in this thread. They’d be torn to shreds.

    HA!

  • Synfandel

    …what happened to the Dr Bunsen Honeydew’s nice assistant that I remember?

    Hm, wha?

  • cptdoom

    …what happened to the Dr Bunsen Honeydew’s nice assistant that I remember?

    Hm, wha?

    Beaker was the lab assistant on the Muppet Show

    “I predict it’s going to happen when big corporations, CEOs, tell people that work as their employees, ”You know, if you keep going to that church that teaches against homosexuality, teaches what the Bible says, we’re going to have to let you go.’

    Once again we see the powers of projection. It seems to me that the only major employer that I’ve seen threatening to fire people, and actually firing some of them, are the various Roman Catholic diocese, some of which have told their employees that something as simple as “liking” a friends post about their same-sex nuptials can be grounds for dismissal.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Synfandel, the problem with you kids these days is that you don’t know anything about the classics.

  • Knight in Sour Armor

    Well hopefully we get to add queer people to the protected class list federally soon and then said wedding service providers will face legal consequences. Until then, Alabama is a blight upon the fly over states.

  • Synfandel

    @10, @11, is my avatar just not showing up?

  • abb3w

    Oh, dear me, no. The muppet’s name is spelled with an “ea” rather than “ee”. It’s much like that great source of embarrassment for Morticia and Gomez Addams from people thinking there might be some relationship to New England’s John and John Quincy Adams; while both families have some roots in Massachusetts, the additional “d” makes a world of difference.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Synfandel “@10, @11, is my avatar just not showing up?”

    The firewall in my wing of the prison blocks pictures, as they angry up the blood ’round here something fierce.

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    “The runaway judiciary is a bigger threat to the United States than Isis. Liberal judges have done harm to our country and our constitution than Al Qaeda.”

    He is absolutely right! Isis has been too busy flooding the Nile and resurrecting Osiris to bother the U.S. As for Mr. Qaeda, I used to live next door to him, and other than him blowing his lawn clippings into my yard, Al was pretty harmless. He only ONCE tried to come into my yard and harm the Constitution.

  • Chiroptera

    “…Liberal judges have done harm to our country and our constitution than Al Qaeda.”

    I can understand why US conservatives say this. They can at least understand Al Qaeda — they are kindred spirits as far as totalitarian thinking goes. But people who want to allow people to live their own lives and make their own decisions? That’s a concept they totally can’t get their heads around.

  • grumpyoldfart

    The runaway judiciary is a bigger threat to the United States than Isis.

    You silly, silly, bastards.

  • GenghisFaun

    If I never hear the word, “unelected,” again, it be too soon. Boy, how these a-holes have latched on to it since Scalia’s rant. What do they think the judiciary branch is for? It’s almost seems as if none of them ever read or studied the Constitution, but that can’t be. Right?

  • sugarfrosted

    @12 Go drink draino.

  • thebookofdave

    This was not an interpretation of the Constitution. It was an assault on God

    No charges were filed. God declined to respond to requests for an interview.

    Someone should put up a judiciary crossing sign on that road

    It’s been tried, Loqi #6. The runaway judiciary simply crosses the road whereever they feel like it. It’s like they don’t even bother to read signs.