Mat Staver, Being His Usual Reasonable Self

Mat Staver, the dumbest lawyer in America not named Larry Klayman, went on quite an unhinged rant about the same-sex marriage ruling on a radio show. It’s the usual stuff — We’re just like Rosa Parks! We’re just like the Jews in Nazi Germany! Oh, and they’re going to be teaching kindergartners to have gay relationships!

Staver urged conservative Christians to engage in “peaceful resistance” to the Supreme Court’s ruling. Likening the fight against marriage equality to the fight for racial equality, Staver said, “This is the Rosa Parks on the bus. If they tell you to go to the back of the bus because your skin color doesn’t match what they want, don’t go to the back of the bus. This is the time for peaceful resistance, and this is the time to stand with people who are engaged in peaceful resistance.”

Yeah, it’s just like that. I mean, other than the fact that you’re not being told to go to the back of the bus. And you’ve been the ones sending gay people to the back of the bus all this time. And you’re the one who have been oppressing people for centuries just for being gay, while Rosa Parks was the victim of such oppression. And you can peacefully resist gay marriage by not getting gay married. No one is forcing you to do so, or ever will. Other than that, it’s just like Rosa Parks.

“This is the time like of the Nazi Germany when they’d knock on your door,” Staver continued. “‘Is there a Jew in your house?’ Well, if you say ‘yes,’ than the Jew is dead; if you say ‘no,’ then you’re dead. What are you gonna do? You gonna protect the person? Or are you gonna save your own skin?”

Yep, it’s just like that. Other than the fact that you aren’t hiding any Jews and there’s no possible analogy to be had here between those who hid Jews and those who don’t like gay people getting married. And no one’s skin is at stake here whatsoever, nor is anyone going to be dead. But year, other than that, it’s just like those who hid Jews from the Nazis. Who are you going to hide, people who clutch their pearls at the thought of a gay couple getting married?

Responding to Schneider’s fears about the future of public education, Staver argued that we will now witness “the marching of the kids through the public schools and the indoctrination. This is the, this is going to be an assault on them of unprecedented proportions as well.” The Department of Education, he predicted, will soon be ordering schools to tell kindergartners, “‘Hey, you need to experiment as a kindergarten with whether you’re male or female. You need to, like, have some experiments and go out and have same-sex relationships.”

Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly what will happen. We’ll just add this to the giant pile of ridiculous predictions you’ve made that have never come true so it won’t feel lonely.

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  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    And you’ve been the ones sending gay people to the back of the bus all this time.

    Wrong. Us Moral Americans did our best to keep them off the bus entirely.

     

    “This is the time like of the Nazi Germany when they’d knock on your door,” Staver continued. “‘Is there a Jew in your house?’ Well, if you say ‘yes,’ than the Jew is dead; if you say ‘no,’ then you’re dead. What are you gonna do? You gonna protect the person? Or are you gonna save your own skin?”

    This is the time like of the Nazi Germany when they’d knock on your door. “Is there a cake in your house?” Well, if you say “Yes”, then they want to purchase that cake…

  • colnago80

    Mat Staver, the dumbest lawyer in America not named Larry Klayman

    Well, Barry Arrington of the Dishonesty Institute is pushing hard to join this fraternity.

  • John Pieret

    I actually hunted around and found out the source of the kindergartner claim.

    It seems that the Fairfax, Virginia school board (not the Department of Education) approved expanding the school system’s sex education curriculum to include teaching teenagers in grades 7 through 10 about gender identity and transgender issues … in the “Family Life Education” courses, which are optional.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/school-board-approves-adding-transgender-issues-to-the-classroom/2015/06/26/d484c7c2-1c14-11e5-93b7-5eddc056ad8a_story.html

    The wingnuts were, of course, up in arms, not to mention paranoia:

    Opponents also expressed concern that some of the revisions would move certain sensitive lessons out of the Family Life Education curriculum and into health class, which would remove parents’ ability to opt-out their children from learning the material. The health class is a required course; Family Life Education is not.

    Andrea Lafferty, a Fairfax resident who is president of the Traditional Values Coalition, a conservative lobbying group, described the lesson changes as overreach by the School Board.

    “Parents: Do you want your children in kindergarten to hear about same-sex marriage under the guise of families?” Lafferty asked.

    So, all Staver had to do was take an action by a local school board concerning an optional course, make it the evil Federal government mandating it, sprinkle on some local paranoia that the course would somehow morph from an optional into a mandatory one that would then leak down from 7th grade to kindergarten and … wah la … you have a perfect example of how the wingnut mind and fever swamps work!

  • whheydt

    Re: John Pieret @ #3…

    “wah la”? I guess that makes sense. the legal professions use a lot of Latin, but I guess they aren’t taught French.

  • dingojack

    And here was I thinking the approximately 7% of German population killed during WW2 were due bombings, gas-chambers, military action and the like! I wasn’t aware the Nazi figured it was more efficient simply to kill their own people door-to-door!

    Dingo

    ———

    How the Second World War really ended [by Matt Staver, IQ 7&½]:

    [Nazi Official knocks on a steel door and waits for an answer. After some time a little man opens the door a crack and peers around it]

    Official: Got a Jew in there?

    Adolf Hitler: I’m Der Fuhrer, and this is the German High Command Bunker in Berlin, what do you think?

    Official: Wrong answer! [Shoots him through the forehead]

  • theDukedog7 .

    What’s going on in America is not at all like Nazi Germany.

    The Nazis never fined people hundreds of thousands of dollars and destroyed their livelihood for not baking a cake.

    They may have been Nazis, but they weren’t crazy.

  • Synfandel

    No, officer. They gay couple next door is lying. There is no Christian bigot family hiding in my attic.

  • John Pieret

    “wah la”? I guess that makes sense. the legal professions use a lot of Latin, but I guess they aren’t taught French.

    Yeah, but it seemed appropriate for the level of what was going on here.

  • Die Anyway

    OP > “Oh, and they’re going to be teaching kindergartners to have gay relationships!”

    Some of those kids will be learning about gay relationships because their mainstream church has decided to accept such relationships, some will learn of them through seeing gay family members, friends and neighbors, some may even be ring bearers or flower petal strewers at SSMs, and a few will be children of gay couples (married or not). And young children love to share their knowledge of the world with their playmates. Sorry fundies, your kindergarteners are going to learn about it whether you block the school from explaining it or not. The world has moved on.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    I’m with theDukedog7. What’s happening here is not what happened there. Here is worse. The government there only killed people. The government here is fining them, for the “crime” of running a public business that isn’t open to the public.

  • zenlike

    Seeing the absolute obsession theDukedog7 seems to have about this topic, it seems that he thinks the absolute worst that can happen to a person is being forced to bake a cake… when you are a fucking baker. Don’t come out much, do you, Dukie?

  • Michael Heath

    zenlike writes:

    . . . the absolute worst that can happen to a person is being forced to bake a cake… when you are a fucking baker.

    So we win. Then the bigots who lost then react by repeatedly punching themselves in the face (rhetorically); so extra creamy icing on our victory cake.

  • dingojack

    Lil Dookie – well, perhaps you’d have to spend less time baking if Nazi Officials didn’t keep going door-to-door and shooting random bakers through the head when they’re found not to have had the foresight to hide a Jew or two in their houses.

    Dingo

  • theguy

    If I, as a non-believer, were a licensed baker, and I refused to bake a cake for a Christian couple, but I’d bake cakes for all manner of non-Christian couples, I’d face the same fines. You’re insane, ShitDog. Get lost.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    [Scene: Checkpoint on road in what used to be the Land of the Free. A Christian drives up. One of The Leader’s Department of Homoland Security officers crushes cigarette under boot hell, goose steps over to driver’s side window]

     

    Obama DoJ/ATF Enforcer: “Do you hef your bay-kurz?” [Looks at bakers. Pauses] “Your bay-kurz are not in order!”

     

    {Crosswipe to}

     

    [Scene: Rail yard. Christians are loaded in to cattlecar with ‘FEMA Camp’ stencilled on the side. Train pulls away. “Just so-called ‘Married'” is painted on the back.]

  • http://www.facebook.com/kitwalker1990 chriswalker

    “What’s going on in America is not at all like Nazi Germany.

    The Nazis never fined people hundreds of thousands of dollars and destroyed their livelihood for not baking a cake.

    They may have been Nazis, but they weren’t crazy.”

    I think the *actual* thing they were charged with is violating the state anti-discrimination statute. Your version is rather like saying someone was fined thousands of dollars and had their life seriously upended for driving home after a night out (y’know, driving while intoxicated).

  • StevoR

    Mat Staver, Being His Usual Reasonable Self

    He’s taking it that badly then huh?

    Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly what will happen. We’ll just add this to the giant pile of ridiculous predictions you’ve made that have never come true so it won’t feel lonely.

    Oh there’s no danger of that! No danger whatsoever.

    Just like there’s no danger whatsoever posed by equal marriage.

    (Aside maybe from the hateful homophobic reactions of the haters towards it which is a separate thing entirely.)

  • Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence

    I baked a cake yesterday. I looked around and there was no one to sell it to. So I ate it myself.

    Try that, Egnoramus. Just eat it. I hope you don’t choke on it. And that’s as nice as I’m going to get when it comes to you.

  • thebookofdave

    You don’t have to take a back seat to marriage equality, DukeDog. Just look the Gaystapo driver in the eye, dare him to check your cellar, and if necessary, go down with the cake.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    I have a christian baker hiding in my attic right now. As I type he’s baking a cake for an illicit straight marriage. The hard part is getting it from my attic to the secret straight wedding. The trick is he decorates it “Congratulations Adam and Steve” so that if I’m stopped in the street by the Gaystapo they won’t notice anything is up. Then when I get it to secret hidden now-illegal christian church we scrape off the S and the t and voila “Congratulations Adam and eve” just like God intended.

  • Nick Gotts

    When someone advertises their moral and intellectual bankruptcy as clearly as Michael Egnor a.k.a. theDukedog7 does @6, no epithets one might apply to them appear to have any point. I will therefore refer to him in future simply as “Michael Egnor”, since no alternative could possibly be more or even equally insulting.

  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @Ed:

    If they tell you to go to the back of the bus because your skin color doesn’t match what they want, don’t go to the back of the bus. This is the time for peaceful resistance, and this is the time to stand with people who are engaged in peaceful resistance.”

    Yeah, it’s just like that. I mean, other than the fact that you’re not being told to go to the back of the bus. And you’ve been the ones sending gay people to the back of the bus all this time. And you’re the one who have been oppressing people for centuries just for being gay, while Rosa Parks was the victim of such oppression.

    I think his point, Ed, is that there are only so many seats in the front of the bus. If you **don’t** send the black gays to the back of the Las Vegas Elvis Wedding Chapel & Bar Crawl Bus, then there won’t be any room at the front for the decent, god-fearing, straight, white, Christian men.

    …unless they sit next to the gays, and that can’t happen because cooties.