WND Columnist Offers Most Ridiculous Christian Persecution Argument Ever

Worldnetdaily columnist Myra Adams is dutifully spouting the right-wing party line that now that gay people can get married, Christianity will soon be outlaws and Christians horribly persecuted. Along the way, she manages to offer the dumbest “evidence” ever for that claim. But first:

This is why I pray frequently for the safety and well-being of our nation. For inspiration I turn to the Bible, the best-selling and most influential book of all time.

Unfortunately, due to the recent Supreme Court decision legalizing gay marriage, it is only a matter of time before the Bible, which speaks contrary to this ruling, will be officially declared “hate speech” and relegated to a museum.

In fact, on May 26, weeks before the Supreme Court decision, GOP presidential hopeful Marco Rubio was ridiculed by those on the left after he said:

“After they are done going after individuals, the next step is to argue that the teachings of mainstream Christianity, the catechism of the Catholic Church, is hate speech and there’s a real and present danger.”

Yes, he was. And you should be too. Because this is bullshit on roller skates. There are no hate speech laws in this country and it’s very unlikely that there ever will be. It’s in that First Amendment thing. And the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality explicitly says that opposition to same-sex marriage is entirely protected speech, as it should be and so obviously is (that statement would have been completely unnecessary if not for hysterical paranoiacs like this). Now for the breathtaking inane piece of “evidence” for this ridiculous claim:

In the meantime, my husband has been asked to read a Bible passage for an upcoming family wedding. This prompted a disturbing conversation between us about what passages would be “acceptable” to the bride, groom and their many guests, all of whom have been actively applauding the gay marriage decision.

I suggested a Scripture passage from the book of Genesis, which for hundreds of years has been a wedding favorite:

“The man said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man leave his father and his mother, and be united to his wife, and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:23-24)

Even though this passage is the biblical basis for marriage, we doubt that it would be acceptable to the bride and groom, confirming Rubio’s words and our own fears about where the Bible and its teachings are headed.

Uh, yeah. Because obviously if the bride and groom might prefer that you not read a particular verse at their own fucking wedding, the next step is clearly that the government is going to declare reading the Bible to be illegal. I mean, what else could it possibly mean? How do people this stupid manage to function on a daily basis?

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  • colnago80

    Sounds like this clown is hearing the footsteps of Michael Savage and has to come up with something totally off the wall to compete with him.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    IT IS HAPPENING ED BRATYON!!! I TRIED TO READ FROM THE BIBLE AT A WEDDING AND THE JACKBOOTED GOVERNMENT THUGS RUSHED IN AND KICKED ME OUT!!!

    OKAY IT WAS THE BRIDES FAMILY!!! AND ALSO THE GROOMS!!! AND ALSO I HADNT BEEN INVITED!!! AND I READ SONG OF SOLOMON 5 BUT STILL!!!

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Not totally on topic, but I read that, following the SCOTUS ruling, the owner of a flower shop that specialised in weddings was so busy and spent so little time at home that his wife divorced him.

    True story…

    Or maybe it was a cartoon.

  • Onamission5

    it is only a matter of time before the Bible, which speaks contrary to this ruling, will be officially declared “hate speech” and relegated to a museum.

    Wait, did she just infer that she equates the bible with the confederate flag, and blame the push to have the traitor’s battle flag removed from public spaces on equal marriage? Did anyone else catch that?

  • noahsarkive

    @modusoperadi : YOU’RE MISSING SOME APOSTROPHES!!!!!!

  • marcus

    Personally, I think that if these people choose to read this passage, they should be immediately frog-marched from the ceremony, put up against the wall, and put down like mad dogs… and no wedding cake!

  • John Pieret

    They might be criticized by their own family, which is totally like the government making it a crime …

    Reading the Bible is damaging to the ability to detect reality.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jason.criley jason the cripple

    If we had hate speech laws, wouldn’t the Bible already be banned because of what is says about black people, or women, or slavery?

  • dugglebogey

    You really wonder how they tie their shoes and arrive at work safely every day.

    Velcro and Uber?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    dugglebogey “Velcro and Uber?”

    The Ukranian comic duo?

  • wreck

    I humbly submit an alternative reading which will shouldn’t get them thrown in jail, and in my opinion is far superior to anything you’ll find in the Holey Babble:

    She’s a brick house, she’s mighty mighty

    And just lettin’ it all hang out and she’s a brick house

    And like lady’s stacked and that’s the fact

    Ain’t holding nothing back, she’s a brick house

    We’re here together everybody knows

    This is how the story goes

    She knows she’s got everything

    That a woman needs to get a man

    How can she lose with the sex she use

    36-24-36, what a winning hand

    She’s a brick house, she’s mighty mighty

    And she’s lettin’ it all hang out and she’s a brick house

    And like lady’s stacked and that’s the fact

    Ain’t holding nothing back she’s a brick house

    Yeah she’s the one, the only one built like an Amazon

    The clothes she wears, her sexy ways

    Make a old man wish for younger days

    She knows she’s built and knows how to please

    Sure enough to knock a strong man to his knees

    ‘Cause she’s a brick house yeah she’s mighty mighty

    Just lettin’ it all hang out a brick house

    And like lady’s stacked and that’s the fact

    Ain’t holding nothing back

    Brick house yeah she’s mighty mighty

    And just lettin’ it all hang out

    Brick house yeah she’s the one the only one

    Built like a Amazon yeah

    Shake it down, shake it down, shake it down

  • cptdoom

    Even though this passage is the biblical basis for marriage, we doubt that it would be acceptable to the bride and groom, confirming Rubio’s words and our own fears about where the Bible and its teachings are headed.

    I don’t know, maybe you could ask the bride and groom which passage they want you to read. Wouldn’t that end this horrible dilemma?

    Not totally on topic, but I read that, following the SCOTUS ruling, the owner of a flower shop that specialised in weddings was so busy and spent so little time at home that his wife divorced him.

    True story…

    Or maybe it was a cartoon.

    Sure, you think it’s funny. But we’ve already seen the first example of the power of gay marriage and how it can destroy straight marriages. Do you really think Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner would be breaking up right now if it weren’t for Big Gay?

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    OMG cptdoom!!

    You’re right!!!!!

    And now I feel SO bad!!!!111!!

  • Nemo

    Notice that she didn’t actually check with the bride and groom, just assumed. So even by her own pathetic standard, she’s only being “oppressed” by herself.

  • caseloweraz

    @wreck:

    Yes, that would certainly be free of any taint of “teh ghey” and thus an ideal fit for a wedding held in the shadow of the suddenly looming tower of the SSM citadel.

    A possible alternative would be “Bust a Move.”

  • shadow

    Wasn’t there a couple in Australia who said they would divorce if SSM was approved? Or did they mean approved in Australia?

  • John Hinkle

    …it is only a matter of time before the Bible, which speaks contrary to this ruling, will be officially declared “hate speech” and relegated to a museum.

    So much for pulp Bibles. <Taps playing softly in the background> What about online Bibles?

  • thebookofdave

    After they are done going after individuals, the next step is to argue that the teachings of mainstream Christianity, the catechism of the Catholic Church, is hate speech and there’s a real and present danger.

    To be fair to Marco Rubio, he’s correct about one thing. Catechism is pretty hateful: too many taboos against consensual adult relationships, and none whatsoever against child rape.

    In the meantime, my husband has been asked to read a Bible passage for an upcoming family wedding. This prompted a disturbing conversation between us about what passages would be “acceptable” to the bride, groom and their many guests

    Dear Myra Adams: here are a few bible passages for you to meditate on before your next disturbing family conversation. You can thank me later.

    Proverbs 11:29

    Whoever brings ruin on their family will inherit only wind

    Proverbs 17:28

    Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.

    Ecclesiastes 7:8

    The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.

  • Nomad

    Am I the only one who thinks that the verse probably wouldn’t be objected to?

    Sure, it’s a heteronormative verse from a heteronormative book. But if the Christians attending it are supportive of gay marriage then they’re already accustomed to interpreting the bible in a way that let’s them ignore that stuff. And it is a hetero ceremony, so it’s still largely appropriate there.

    On the other hand, I might expect feminists to be a bit unnerved at this talk of a woman being a man’s flesh and a man’s bones.

  • moarscienceplz

    I READ SONG OF SOLOMON 5 BUT STILL!!!

    And here’s the best part:

    5:4 My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him.

    Who’s up for a little Biblical copraphilia?

  • Michael Heath

    moarsciencplz,

    I can’t find what you quote as 5:4. Neither by googling or using BibleStudyTools.com, which contains all the most popular version translations. A cite would be appreciated.

    Here’s the RSV version of Song of Solomon 5:4:

    My beloved put his hand to the latch, and my heart was thrilled within me.

  • Lofty
  • Ichthyic

    Christianity will soon be outlaws

    soon be? they’ve been outlaws since inception.

  • jnorris

    With all due respect to Ms Adams and Sen Rubio, but Christians are supposed to be joyful in their persecution. If they are not persecuted then how will they know they really love Jesus?

    Now I am not talking about American Persecution where you can’t get a cake or a good table at the fancy restaurant. Actual persecution has mostly stopped in America when the Real Christians ™ stopped killing Jews, Quakers, Catholics, and Others. (Except for the occasional queer or unarmed black male teenager or Mexican.)

    Yes, I am bitter because Ms Adams dares compare herself to actual victims of persecution, the bitch.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Michael Heath “Here’s the RSV version…”

    The what? That might be fine for mainline Protestants and other pagans, but everybody knows Jesus wrote the KJV.

  • dan4

    I always laugh when Catholics quote Genesis 2:23-24, since it’s as much an argument against priests being forbidden to wed as it is against gay marriage (when they quote it, it’s always an argument against the latter, of course.).

  • peterh

    @ #17:

    There’s ‘e-Sword,’ a (somewhat bulky) free download that will give you several common translations of the OT & NT as well as several adjunct materials from early Church “fathers, ” Roman Period historians, and later [rather dated] biblical “scholars” which will provide much fodder with which to puncture many self-righteous, often self-serving fallacious, fatuous fundie fulminations. On the bright side, these various translations can be e-searched (by word, phrase or verse) individually or side-by-side depending on the slant your inquiry might be taking.

  • Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence

    I found it interesting to read all of Chapter Five of Song of Solomon. A peek at Chapter Six put me off my feed.

    Ahem. Make of it what you will. Christians do. That is, if they ever get around to, you know, actually reading it!

    http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/book.php?book=Song+of+Solomon&chapter=5&verse=3&t=1

  • dingojack

    Or Michael H. if you prefer:-

    “dilectus meus misit manum suam per foramen et venter meus intremuit ad tactum eius” (Biblia Sacra Vulgata)

    OR

    “דּוֹדִ֗י שָׁלַ֤ח יָדוֹ֙ מִן־הַחֹ֔ר וּמֵעַ֖י הָמ֥וּ עָלָֽיו׃” (Westminster Leningrad Codex)

    😉 Dingo

  • llyris

    @16 shadow

    That couple said they would get a legal advice if gay marriage is legalised in Australia. Because apparently that somehow changes the contract they signed to each other. Anyway since they intend to continue living together and wish to stay “Christian married” they don’t fit the criteria for a legal divorce and will be denied one if they should happen to apply.

  • llyris

    Damn. Legal DIVORCE.