Nearly Half of Texans Believe Jade Helm Conspiracy Theories

This week is the start of the much-discussed Jade Helm 15 military exercises, which are scheduled from July 15-September 15. A recent poll of Texas residents found that almost half of them actually believe the bizarre conspiracy theories about this entirely mundane event.

Abbott sent the Texas State Guard to monitor the so-called Jade Helm 15 military exercises in Central Texas earlier this year, after particularly vocal activists expressed fears that what was being billed as an exercise was actually something far more sinister.

“During the training operation, it is important that Texans know their safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed,” the governor wrote in his letter to the Guard’s commander at the time.

While a third of the registered voters in the poll had no opinion about the governor’s action, 39 percent agreed with it and 28 percent opposed it, the poll found.

More to the point, it was popular with a particular group — Tea Party Republicans who were paying attention to the issue, 85 percent of whom agreed with Abbott…

Asked whether federal military intervention is likely in certain circumstances, large numbers said yes. A majority said military intervention is “very” or “somewhat” likely to arrest political protesters, and 50 percent said it is likely that the feds would send the military to violate citizens’ property rights. Smaller but significant numbers said the military would likely be used to impose martial law (44 percent) and to confiscate firearms from citizens (43 percent).

Almost half of all Texans believe that the federal government is going to take over their state, which they already control. How is it possible to have a functioning democracy under such circumstances? One could be forgiven for believing that we haven’t actually had such a thing for a long time anyway, I suppose.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Alverant

    And, of course, when nothing happens they’ll take credit for preventing the take over the same way my cats protects me from rampaging wildebeests.

  • llewelly

    welp. It’s a victory for the Alex Jones theology. It’s a victory for the neo confederates.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Wrong. It’s a victory for Freedom [from facts].

  • Synfandel

    One early casualty of the exercise is this young woman whose name is Jade Helm.

  • busterggi

    If the feds really wanted to fuck over Texas they’d remove all federal agencies and the jobs that they create from the state.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Wait until they discover that American troops have also sneaked away to Australia where they are right now fraternizing with soldiers of the Japanese army!

    http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/may/26/japan-joins-us-australian-military-exercise-in-july-for-first-time

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    How is it possible to have a functioning democracy under such circumstances?

    I think I see your mistake, there… Your question presupposes that we do have a functioning democracy.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    How is it possible to have a functioning democracy under such circumstances?

    I think I see your mistake, there… Your question presupposes that we do have a functioning democracy.

  • lofgren

    I absolutely believe the federal government would do all of those things “in certain circumstances” because they’ve all happened before. I’m kinda shocked anybody would actually doubt it.

  • lofgren

    I absolutely believe the federal government would do all of those things “in certain circumstances” because they’ve all happened before. I’m kinda shocked anybody would actually doubt it.

  • scott

    Like usual with these polls, I have to ask whether the respondents really mean the crazy shit they say, or if it’s just waving the tribal banner. I think in many cases they’re just hearing “buzzz buzzz Obama- threat or menace? herp derp” and reflexively reply “Yes! Obama am bad man!” whatever the context is.

  • LightningRose

    You have to keep in mind that the average person is not very bright, and fully half the population are worse than that, and most of them live in the South.

    The proof of Texas Teabagger stupidity is that Texas was “invaded” long ago:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_military_installations_in_Texas

  • LightningRose

    You have to keep in mind that the average person is not very bright, and fully half the population are worse than that, and most of them live in the South.

    The proof of Texas Teabagger stupidity is that Texas was “invaded” long ago:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_military_installations_in_Texas

  • Synfandel

    @10 LightningRose wrote: “…Texas was invaded long ago”

    Three times:

    1. By the American Indians.

    2. By the Spanish.

    3. By the Texans.

  • Synfandel

    @10 LightningRose wrote: “…Texas was invaded long ago”

    Three times:

    1. By the American Indians.

    2. By the Spanish.

    3. By the Texans.

  • LightningRose

    @11 Synfandel

    Perhaps I should have specified, “invaded by the US Military”

  • LightningRose

    @11 Synfandel

    Perhaps I should have specified, “invaded by the US Military”

  • bahrfeldt

    Close Fort Hood, close Fort Bliss, close Fort Sam Houston, close Fort Stanley, close Fort Swift, close Fort Bowie, close Fort Bullis, close all Navy, Marine and Coast Guard facilities. Withdraw all military personnel stationed in Texas and the dollars they spend. Close all Federal civilian facilities, like NASA. Withdraw all movable Federal military and civilian equipment and assets. Lay off all Federal employees in Texas. Send no more money of any kind to Texas, including Federal pensions and social security. Fire all Federal Politicians in and from Texas. Blockade all access into and from Texas, forbid phone, email and snail mail. Do not allow the sports teams into America. Send Texas Donald Trump. That should keep them all happy. :).

  • howardhershey

    Given the Tea Party’s ability to stage mass 10 million person (aka, a few dozen) marches against Washington, I do think calling on the military is overkill. A few policemen can push the wheelchairs out of sight.

  • howardhershey

    Given the Tea Party’s ability to stage mass 10 million person (aka, a few dozen) marches against Washington, I do think calling on the military is overkill. A few policemen can push the wheelchairs out of sight.

  • coragyps

    “Send Texas Donald Trump.”

    Oh, shit!! Please nuke us into oblivion instead!

  • coragyps

    “Send Texas Donald Trump.”

    Oh, shit!! Please nuke us into oblivion instead!

  • David C Brayton

    Ya know, since moving to Fort Worth, I haven’t seen these crazy conservative types. Sure, things seem a bit more conservative. But it’s not like, you know, Grand Rapids. In all seriousness, Texas is a big place and I suspect that rural Texans make up for the liberal tendencies of the urban folks in Dallas/Fort Worth.

    .

  • David C Brayton

    Ya know, since moving to Fort Worth, I haven’t seen these crazy conservative types. Sure, things seem a bit more conservative. But it’s not like, you know, Grand Rapids. In all seriousness, Texas is a big place and I suspect that rural Texans make up for the liberal tendencies of the urban folks in Dallas/Fort Worth.

    .

  • magistramarla

    David C. Brayton,

    I live in suburban San Antonio and I run into this kind of derp all of the time.

    Bahrfeldt @ 13,

    Not very likely that all of those federal facilities would be closed, but I would love to see that happen.

    Then the hubbie’s office would be moved to another state and we could finally get out of Texas for good!

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Don’t laugh. Half the people of Texas are smart enough to realize that it’s only a matter of time before the United States is completely taken over and occupied by the United States.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Don’t laugh. Half the people of Texas are smart enough to realize that it’s only a matter of time before the United States is completely taken over and occupied by the United States.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    sigurd jorsalfar “Don’t laugh. Half the people of Texas are smart enough to realize that it’s only a matter of time before the United States is completely taken over and occupied by the United States.”

    And the other half are in on it!

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    sigurd jorsalfar “Don’t laugh. Half the people of Texas are smart enough to realize that it’s only a matter of time before the United States is completely taken over and occupied by the United States.”

    And the other half are in on it!

  • postwaste

    I’m actually pretty concerned about this. I can easily see a scenario where one of these self-appointed patriots takes upon himself to defend the homeland.

  • postwaste

    I’m actually pretty concerned about this. I can easily see a scenario where one of these self-appointed patriots takes upon himself to defend the homeland.

  • Knight in Sour Armor

    @20:

    Well at that point they find out that their 2nd amendment rights don’t sufficiently equip them to take on the might of our bloated out of control military budget.

  • Knight in Sour Armor

    @20:

    Well at that point they find out that their 2nd amendment rights don’t sufficiently equip them to take on the might of our bloated out of control military budget.

  • blf

    …the average person is not very bright, and fully half the population are worse than that…

    This seems to be making the common, but imnumerate, mistake of thinking half of a sample is larger than the average, and the other half smaller. Assuming average means mean (add up all the values and then divide by the number of values), that isn’t even close to the truth. (It is true if what is meant is median, by tautology — that is, in essence, the definition of median.)

    The canonical counterexample: There are a million people. One has an income of one million dollars. Another has an income of two dollars. The other 999,998 all have an income of one dollar.

    The average, or mean, income is two million dollars divided by one million people, or two dollars. It is clear far less than half (exactly one, in fact) have a larger income than that average, and far far more (999,998) have a smaller income. So much for the notion “half is larger, and half is smaller, than the average.”

    (This mistake really gets my goat, and this is about the third time I’ve seen it in the last two days, so I am now loosing a herd of the creatures…)

  • colnago80

    Re blf @ #22

    Technically blf is correct, the mean and the median are different. However, if the the distribution is symmetric, they are equal to each other. In particular, if the distribution of intelligence follows a Bell Curve, which seems to be the consensus of the experts and seems to be supported by the data, they are equal.

  • colnago80

    Re blf @ #22

    Technically blf is correct, the mean and the median are different. However, if the the distribution is symmetric, they are equal to each other. In particular, if the distribution of intelligence follows a Bell Curve, which seems to be the consensus of the experts and seems to be supported by the data, they are equal.