Manning: Beware the ‘Sodomite Demons’

James David Manning, who previously told the world that Starbucks puts gay semen in your coffee (no really, a Hobbit told him and you know that Hobbits never lie), is warning once again about the dangers of turning gay by eating at the same restaurant as someone and getting infected with “sodomite demons.”

Just as various diseases are spread through sexual intercourse and saliva, Manning explained, so too is the “sodomite demon.” If you have had sex with or even kissed or been at the same restaurant as someone who has such “demons in their blood,” he warned, you may have been “introduced to these demons in your life, sodomy, when you had no defense.”

So do you get it from the toilet seat? From the silverware, even after being washed? Inquiring minds want to know.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • busterggi

    customer – “Waiter, what is this Sodomite Demon doing in my soup?”

    waiter – “Why, it’s the backstroke sir.”

  • tbp1

    This guy is a grown up? Who presumably can vote? We really are doomed.

  • Jared James

    “This message sponsored by Chick-Fil-A, where homosexualists never spread gay demon cooties, and poultry fear to tread.”

  • scienceavenger

    James David Manning, who previously told the world that Starbucks puts gay semen in your coffee…

    Great, another cup of coffee ruined. Surely you can find a different bit of insanity from this guy to lead off with.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001548104064 jimatkins

    Busterggi, I thought I had told some atrocious jokes in my time, but you, sir, are an artiste.

  • lldayo

    From the silverware, even after being washed?

    Only as long as the water has been blessed by a priest.

  • caseloweraz

    jimatkins: Busterggi, I thought I had told some atrocious jokes in my time, but you, sir, are an artiste.

    I can’t pass up a chance like that.

    Waiter: How did you find your steak, sir?

    Customer: Oh, I just moved a couple of peas and there it was.

  • John Pieret

    The toilet seat is a probable vector but just sitting in a seat that a person with a sodomite demon just vacated can also do it. You know how sodomite demons like to enter the bodies of believers!

  • John Pieret

    The toilet seat is a probable vector but just sitting in a seat that a person with a sodomite demon just vacated can also do it. You know how sodomite demons like to enter the bodies of believers!

  • wreck

    I hate to break the news to you, Manning, but you’ve already been infested with multiple sodomite demons, all of whom think you’re an asshole.

  • wreck

    I hate to break the news to you, Manning, but you’ve already been infested with multiple sodomite demons, all of whom think you’re an asshole.

  • caseloweraz

    What’s interesting about Manning’s latest “warning” is that he’s moving away from talking about physical interactions (like, absurd as it is, gay semen in coffee.) Now he claims that you only have to be in the same room as someone with “sodomite demons” to be “infected.”

    This of course raises the question of how you’re supposed to know such a person is in the room. Perhaps Manning has an amulet you can buy which glows in proximity to “demons” — pink in the case of “sodomite demons,” presumably.

  • caseloweraz

    What’s interesting about Manning’s latest “warning” is that he’s moving away from talking about physical interactions (like, absurd as it is, gay semen in coffee.) Now he claims that you only have to be in the same room as someone with “sodomite demons” to be “infected.”

    This of course raises the question of how you’re supposed to know such a person is in the room. Perhaps Manning has an amulet you can buy which glows in proximity to “demons” — pink in the case of “sodomite demons,” presumably.

  • colnago80

    Apparently, Reverend Manning, who is a convicted felon who did time in the slammer, is also a devote of the late and unlamented Rabbi Meir Kahane who called for the extermination of Arabs who refused to leave Israel, a man whose Kach party was banned from the Knesset. Birds of a feather flock together.

  • colnago80

    Re caseloweraz @ #10

    Maybe he has an advanced gaydar system.

  • colnago80

    Re caseloweraz @ #10

    Maybe he has an advanced gaydar system.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Yet so far Manning has said nothing about those sneaky catamite demons –

    without whom the sodomite ones can do nothing!

    Why does he collude in their (ahem!) spreading so far and wide?

    Inquiring minds need to know!!1!

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Yet so far Manning has said nothing about those sneaky catamite demons –

    without whom the sodomite ones can do nothing!

    Why does he collude in their (ahem!) spreading so far and wide?

    Inquiring minds need to know!!1!

  • Synfandel

    Hey, I got here ahead of Modusoperandi.

    Sodomite Demons… Dibs on jazz fusion band name.

  • carpenterman

    All right, now I’m sure: Manning is in the closet. He’s just setting it up so that when he inevitably gets caught having a homosexual affair, he’ll get to claim it’s not his fault, he’s a victim, that he’s “possessed”, so that hopefully his followers will rally round him, rather than denounce him for the lying, two-faced scumbag he is.

  • carpenterman

    All right, now I’m sure: Manning is in the closet. He’s just setting it up so that when he inevitably gets caught having a homosexual affair, he’ll get to claim it’s not his fault, he’s a victim, that he’s “possessed”, so that hopefully his followers will rally round him, rather than denounce him for the lying, two-faced scumbag he is.

  • lorn

    “Semen is the cream of the blood.”

    WTF?!?!

    On the up side I can now tell people that: I’m whipping my cream.

    After which we can all go down to Starbucks and have some of that Gay flavored coffee.

  • lorn

    “Semen is the cream of the blood.”

    WTF?!?!

    On the up side I can now tell people that: I’m whipping my cream.

    After which we can all go down to Starbucks and have some of that Gay flavored coffee.

  • Numenaster

    You can have my share, lorn.

  • Numenaster

    You can have my share, lorn.

  • Damien McLeod

    I don’t understand how people like him even get born, You’d think they would die in-utero from terminal insanity.

  • Nick Gotts

    So do you get it from the toilet seat? From the silverware, even after being washed?

    Yes, perhaps demons are like prions! Or maybe like thetans.

  • Nick Gotts

    So do you get it from the toilet seat? From the silverware, even after being washed?

    Yes, perhaps demons are like prions! Or maybe like thetans.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Apparently, Reverend Manning, who is a convicted felon who did time in the slammer, is also a devote of the late and unlamented Rabbi Meir Kahane who called for the extermination of Arabs who refused to leave Israel, a man whose Kach party was banned from the Knesset. Birds of a feather flock together.

    But wanting to drop serious megatonnage all over the middle east makes one a bird of a different feather, right?

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    Apparently, Reverend Manning, who is a convicted felon who did time in the slammer, is also a devote of the late and unlamented Rabbi Meir Kahane who called for the extermination of Arabs who refused to leave Israel, a man whose Kach party was banned from the Knesset. Birds of a feather flock together.

    But wanting to drop serious megatonnage all over the middle east makes one a bird of a different feather, right?

  • thebookofdave

    Only as long as the water has been blessed by a priest.

    Or what I like to call a mixed blessing, lldayo. Sure, it repels demons, but holy water is likely to violate health and sanitation codes.

  • thebookofdave

    Only as long as the water has been blessed by a priest.

    Or what I like to call a mixed blessing, lldayo. Sure, it repels demons, but holy water is likely to violate health and sanitation codes.