The Day Irony Died

The Des Moines Register, the biggest newspaper in Iowa, wrote an editorial column absolutely blasting Donald Trump’s ridiculous presidential campaign and Trump is firing back with his usual empty responses and staggering lack of self-awareness. More on that later. Here’s what the Register had to say, in part:

If he were merely a self-absorbed, B-list celebrity, his unchecked ego could be tolerated as a source of mild amusement. But he now wants to become president, which means that he aspires to be the leader of the free world and the keeper of our nuclear launch codes.

That is problematic, because Trump, by every indication, seems wholly unqualified to sit in the White House. If he had not already disqualified himself through his attempts to demonize immigrants as rapists and drug dealers, he certainly did so by questioning the war record of John McCain, the Republican senator from Arizona…

He has become “the distraction with traction” — a feckless blowhard who can generate headlines, name recognition and polling numbers not by provoking thought, but by provoking outrage.

Hard to argue with any of that, so Trump doesn’t even bother. Instead, he offers one of the most ironic claims ever uttered:

“As one of the most liberal newspapers in the United States, the poll results were just too much for them to bear,” he wrote. “The Des Moines Register has lost much circulation, advertising, and power over the last number of years. They will do anything for a headline, and this poorly written “non-endorsement” got them some desperately needed ink.”

Yes, Donald Trump just accused someone else of doing “anything for a headline.” Irony is now dead, folks. It can’t possibly recover from that.

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  • John Pieret

    Donald Trump just accused someone else of doing “anything for a headline.”

    But what he does is to generate the world’s greatest headlines!

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Trump doesn’t do anything for headlines. Headlines do anything for him. Yakov Smirnoff will do routines about him after he de-emigrates back to Soviet Russia.

  • colnago80

    There are a lot of people out there who think that this sort of attack on what they consider to be the pointy heads who run the news media to be just fine and dandy and will love him even more.

  • Irreverend Bastard

    “the leader of the free world”

    Free world? You claim that the US is the only place where there is freedom? Or that the US is the leader of all countries with freedom? Or that there actually is freedom in the US?

    Fuck off!

  • macallan

    There goes the irony meter on the New Horizons probe.

  • Holms

    Free world? You claim that the US is the only place where there is freedom? Or that the US is the leader of all countries with freedom? Or that there actually is freedom in the US?

    Fuck off!

    Say rather that America is the defacto leader of the planet, due having by far the largest military. They simply style themselves as being champions of freedom… again, due to having the largest military. I think this song sums it up quite well.

  • corwyn

    got them some desperately needed ink.”

    He does realize that newspapers buy ink by the barrel, right? Newspapers don’t need media coverage, they ARE media coverage.

  • sugarfrosted

    @4 @6 That’s an idiom from during the cold war. I don’t see what it’s really supposed to mean anymore or why it still exists. (You could still quibble with the phrase “free world”, but still.)

  • zbeeblebrox

    “Free world? You claim that the US is the only place where there is freedom? Or that the US is the leader of all countries with freedom? Or that there actually is freedom in the US?

    Fuck off!”

    It looks like somebody needs a hug…

  • blondeintokyo

    The Register isn’t a liberal paper. I’m from Des Moines and have been reading The Register for years. The paper is well centered and has both liberal and conservative readers. Iowa is an interesting mix of conservatives and liberals, with most people being pretty centrist. We were 7th to allow same sex marriage, have Tom Harkin on one side and Steve King on the other. Trump doesn’t know what he’s talking about….which is nothing new.