Wingnut: ‘Blow Up’ Disney Channel Over ‘Illuminati Propaganda’

A.J. Castellitto, a freelance wingnut who has been published in some of the dark, sad corners of the right wing blogosphere, has a column at BarbWire demanding that the Disney Channel be “killed” and “burned down” because it’s destroying our children through “Illuminati propaganda.”

Kill the Disney Channel.

Blow up the Illuminati Propaganda being fed to the young and impressionable. Mind seducing cartoons like Gravity Falls, which provides a light-hearted portrayal of “summoning” and is loaded with a plethora of Illuminati-style symbolism: owls, floating eye balls, pyramids, masonic stained glass and Fez hats, is seemingly all the rage these days.

What on earth is happening? This is some sick repugnant ‘you know what’ being produced and mass distributed by a network devoted to children’s programming. Is there anything we will we not tolerate in our day?

The minds, hearts and souls of our children are on the line. When is enough… enough?!?

Wait, I have an answer: When you turn the channel. Voila, the demons can’t get you anymore!

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  • colnago80

    This fixation with the Illuminati by the whackjobs is mind boggling. don’t they realize that the real dangerous conspirators are members of Skull and Bones?

  • wreck

    “a light-hearted portrayal of “summoning” and is loaded with a plethora of Illuminati-style symbolism: owls, floating eye balls, pyramids, masonic stained glass and Fez hats”

    Right on! Why can’t they show good wholesome stuff like turning a cracker into human flesh and then eating it? With funny hats too.

  • dingojack

    “Illuminati-style symbolism: owls, floating eye balls, pyramids, masonic stained glass and Fez hats…”

    What no special “illuminati edition” tin-foil hats? Direct from South Africa, Chad, Chile or some other far-flung place, exclusively just for you, as long as you give us enough personal details to steal your identity and drain your bank accounts.

    Well no doubt some bots will be along soon to fill in this glaring error…

    Dingo

    ———

    OBTW – Fezes are cool!

  • Kengi

    But turning the channel doesn’t get rid of the demons. They’re still in there, accumulating. Eventually they will over-flow, bursting out of the television.

    Sure, it’s all fun and games to talk about the number of angels that can dance on the head of a pin, but who’s doing the serious research into how many demons can squat inside of a television?

    And the television manufacturer’s are in on the conspiracy! Every year televisions get thinner and thinner. Why? So you have to trow your old demon-filled set out and buy a new one every couple of years! I used to be able to keep my old televisions for decades before they filled up with demons!

  • John Pieret

    When you turn the channel.

    Even better, cable systems now give you “parental controls” where you can lock out whole channels so your special snowflakes can’t be sucked into international conspiracies disguised as cartoons.

    Of course, you might have to get your kids to show you how to use them …

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Fez hats

    That takes me back. Back in ’63 I saw Fez Hats open for Red Buttons in the Catskills.

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    I was actually with this this guy on this…at first. (I hate Disney. I hate Goofy with a fiery passion; he is not funny and is the most annoying character in the history of everything (and this includes Steve Urkel).)

    …Until he mentioned Gravity Falls, the ONE SHOW on the whole channel that my kids watch that does not make me want to cut my head off with a rusty spoon.

  • Mr Ed

    I’ve been saying basically the same thing since they cancelled Kim Possible.

  • MikeMa

    @theschwa,

    I think Jar Jar Binks is way worse than Goofy.

    As for changing the channel, I am sure this nutball can imagine demons everywhere on every channel. He needs to have no teevee at all and read books. Maybe the book they were trying to ban in Texas about the girl having two mommies.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    “Eye ell ell

    “You em eye

    “Eye en ae

    “Tee eyyyyyyeyyye!

    “Can you see us hold our banners high-high-high!”

  • bryanfeir

    I think someone has failed to notice that Bill Cipher, the main summoned source of Illuminati references… is generally portrayed as one of the bad guys, and that making a deal with him is not a good idea.

  • busterggi

    Hah! Wait until the Boy Sprouts finish forcing all gay men to be counsellors so they can turn them straight!

  • whheydt

    Hmmm…. Last time I watched Disney TV shows was when The Mickey Mouse Club had Annette Funicello as one of the Mouseketeers….

  • moarscienceplz

    Whew! It’s a darn good thing this fine fellow hasn’t seen Golan the Insatiable. Now, just what is the channel that shows this cartoon about a little girl who worships a nearly naked demon? Oh, that’s right, FOX TV!

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    I wonder if violent rhetoric bothers him when it’s muslims aimed at christians.

  • Big Boppa
  • Big Boppa

    whheydt @13

    Hmmm…. Last time I watched Disney TV shows was when The Mickey Mouse Club had Annette Funicello as one of the Mouseketeers….

    Same here. Only shows to go ya that they’ve been in the indoctrination business for ages.

    Shit, that damned Disney turned me into a guy who gets the hots for cute, large breasted Italian girls, I tells ya!

    http://www.rick.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/annette-funicello.jpg

  • dingojack

    bryanfeir – Bill Cypher? Louis‘ goofy* brother perhaps?

    Dingo

    ———

    * no pun intended…

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    Wow, that was like reading a John Birch Society tract from the 1950s.

  • freehand

    Illuninati? How square, how 20th century! All the hip paranoid goofballs patriots are worried about Agenda 21, chemtrails, and HAARP.

  • http://sidhe3141.blogspot.com jy3, Social Justice Beguiler

    Dingojack (3): I don’t know about tinfoil hats, but I once got one from a guy who claimed to be recruiting for the Illuminati.

  • http://www.twitter.com/jablair51 Ouabache

    A.J. is too dumb to realize that the point of Bill Cipher is to make fun of idiot conspiracy theorists like him.

  • magistramarla

    Fez hats? Really? This guy would really have a problem with Dr. Who.

    And to think, we encourage our grandkids to watch Dr. Who.

    BTW, I’ve seen many, many shows on The Disney Channel over the years.

    The oldest grandson always spends part of his summer with me, and he loves their programming, even now that he’s in high school. The wingnuts would probably have a heart attack if they saw The Wizards of Waverly Place or Dog with a Blog.

    My grandkids are Disney kids and always will be.

  • mithrandir

    I first heard about the Illuminati from the Steve Jackson game of that name. It remains baffling to learn that there are still people who actually believe in that particular conspiracy theory.

    I’ve occasionally toyed with the idea of concocting my own conspiracy theory to troll people with, but I eventually abandoned the idea as I came to realize that there was always the danger that I might succeed – and I’d be powerless to pull it back, as the devotees would simply claim that They had “gotten” to me or some such.

  • gregoryweagle

    ” Kill the Disney Channel. Blow up the Illuminati Propaganda being fed to the young and impressionable. Mind seducing cartoons like Gravity Falls, which provides a light-hearted portrayal of “summoning” and is loaded with a plethora of Illuminati-style symbolism: owls, floating eye balls, pyramids, masonic stained glass and Fez hats, is seemingly all the rage these days. “

    I wonder if A.J. is a real life version of Matt Bluestone from Gargoyles? Only much, much more paranoid. I have seen six episodes of Gravity Falls (and hope to see more at a later date.) and there is a lot of Eye Of Providences and pentacles with giant eyes in them, but this is supposed to be a mystery show. Why not have some Illuminati references? Oh; and there was a hexagram at the end of the pilot episode by the way.

    What on earth is happening? This is some sick repugnant ‘you know what’ being produced and mass distributed by a network devoted to children’s programming. Is there anything we will we not tolerate in our day?

    Ummm…bullet shooting guns perchance? I haven’t seen a new Disney show with those types of firearms since about 1994. Probably for the best too.

    The minds, hearts and souls of our children are on the line. When is enough… enough?!?

    When Disney Channel has a show that is as disgusting as Love Loaf from Breadwinners. These symbols are really child’s play.

    You know; Illuminati might stand for “Exposing with light” which might explain A.J. Bluestone’s incredible projection of himself as a dark figure. I wonder.

    @24: I once wrote a conspiracy theory as to why Disney created Jungle Cubs; and while the conspiracy was silly, at least mine didn’t involve people getting killed or any nightmare ending to the planet. It involved a CEO just being dumb.

  • blf

    Fez hats? Really? This guy would really have a problem with Dr. Who.

    Even without the Fez, this nutter would be challenged by the furrin accents and the idea “Exterminate!” has never worked. Although I suspect she/he wants to be the Cybercontroller…