More Trumpbabble About the Wall

I’ve been away all weekend, so I’m just getting to this absolutely bizarre statement from Donald Trump to reporters about how the proposed wall on the Mexican border has to be transparent so people don’t get hit on the head with huge bags of drugs thrown over it.

WTF

One of the things with the wall is you need transparency. You have to be able to see through it. In other words, if you can’t see through that wall — so it could be a steel wall with openings, but you have to have openings because you have to see what’s on the other side of the wall.

And I’ll give you an example. As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them — they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over. As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall.

Wait, what? Yes, it sounds crazy, because it’s just nonsense. No one is throwing 60 pound bags of drugs over a wall. This just isn’t a thing. For some weird reason, Trump thinks he’s really good at this kind of thing. He thinks he’s a bloody genius when it comes to answering questions and speaking off the cuff, but he’s terrible at it. He starts sentences with no idea where he’s going, then just talks in circles for a minute before stopping.

What he ends up with is a textbook word salad — lies, half-truths, barely remembered things he might have overheard in a conversation once that he’ll just throw in there as if they were verified information. Then he’ll throw in a bunch of generic superlatives (beautiful! amazing! stupendous!) that don’t belong in that context at all, and a bunch of parenthetical verbal tics (I hate to tell you, believe me). It’s just gibberish. “I have the best words!” No, you don’t. And you wouldn’t know what to do with them if you did.

About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.