Cindy Jacobs Has a Story For Us

Cindy Jacobs, the undisputed queen of the bottomless spaghetti bowl, has a story to tell us. During that meeting of “prophets” at the Trump hotel in DC, she “convened the court of heaven” by banging a cheap gavel she bought at the Supreme Court gift shop and weaved a magical tale.

So father, in the name of Jesus, we do convene the court of heaven. … So Father, in the name of Jesus, Lord, we decree, and we say, Father God, great judge of the universe, see these injustices that are done against your people, people that are hiding in the CIA and the FBI, different ones in Congress, anyone surrounding the Supreme Court, anyone that might write an opinion, anyone that are clerks, anything, Father, Lord we pray over the executive branch, everyone who works there, everyone at every state level, all the judicial system, the Ninth Circuit, Father and these others, Lord, we decree Father, you are the great judge of the universe and we declare the court is in session…

So this morning, as I was seeking the Lord, [OK, I got that], the worship team started to sing, ‘the heavens are roaring.’ [Yelp. Oh, yeah.] And I heard a sound. It was the sound of heavy footsteps. And I heard it begin to leave this place and walk towards the Supreme Court. [Yow!] And I knew that the great advocate, the judge of all the Earth was engaging with us. He said, ‘I’m going to give you the authority to do what you need to do.’ Because I saw Him sit down on His throne in front of the Supreme Court. He is the King. He is the King of all Kings. I saw the angel of the Lord over America, and I want to tell you something, he’s here. So we are going to turn something around, and I want to tell you what it is the Lord spoke to me to turn around. Called by different names, but the name it’s most commonly known as, is the Deep State. [Excited cheering from the crowd] It’s time! It’s time! I said, it’s time!…

The enemy is mocking us to our face. Every time we turn on the news, it seems as if there’s a mocking spirit saying how impotent we have been. But I want to say to you, there’s a new marshal in town, there’s a new sheriff in town, the people of Christ understand our authority. Can you feel it? Amen. This is the turnaround season.

The only thing she got right in that screed is that we are indeed mocking them to their face. Because they deserve mockery. They are buffoons and con artists preying on the ignorant and the credulous. I mean, come on. Only in religion could someone claim to have been blessed with a bottomless bowl of spaghetti and not lose a bit of credibility in the eyes of their audience. In any other setting, no one would ever take you seriously again.

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