If you’re reading this, we should be well into a second civil war by now. That’s according to Alex Jones, who told his credulous followers that Democrats plan to launch a second civil war on the 4th of July. It was his usual unhinged rant, presented with no evidence whatsoever, and the folks on Twitter have been having a ball with the hashtag #SecondCivilWarLetters, mimicking letters sent home during the real Civil War. Here’s the video of Jones:
And some examples of the letters on Twitter, many of which are absolutely hilarious.
Dear Paw,
Today I came upon a most gruesome scene. Two men in MAGA hats lay on the ground bleeding to death as they shot each other thinking the other was the bad guy with a gun. Their general stood by and offered them his thoughts and prayers. #SecondCivilWarLetters— Julie Brown (@jujub41482) July 3, 2018
Oh Mama, do not worry, we are well hidden in the Barnes & Noble as we await our orders from General Obama – The MAGA brigade is unaware of the bookstore’s existence. We sit and slurp our coffee behind a section of dictionaries, our second line of defense. #SecondCivilWarLetters
— Shannon H. Smith (@shaystuff1) July 4, 2018
Dear Ma,
This war shall end soon. The medics of the MAGA army are unable to treat the soldiers because bullet wounds are considered a pre-existing condition.
— Jared Butler (@ZodiacMan423) July 3, 2018
My love,
The war has only just begun, and Commander Cheeto has already fired a dozen generals and replaced them with hosts from Fox News. This is a good sign that the war won't last. I'll see you soon#secondcivilwarletters— Liberal Pizza (@PizzaLiberal) July 3, 2018
Dear Ma,
In preparing for tomorrow's battle, we spent the day using Hillary's emails to build our fortress. There is no doubt now that we will be victorious as no one can seem to get over them. Now we covfefe till morning.
Happy Second Civil War Eve!#secondcivilwarletters
— Be Best Bowling Green Victim (@TeamGulley) July 4, 2018
Dearest,
We took Mar-A-Lago today. I got a bad tiki torch burn on my arm, but good news: the RedHats left behind a batch of Covfefe as they fled. Tonight, we feast on the cakes they refused to bake for gay people. All my love.#secondcivilwarletters— Haegtessa (@HalseyKallinen) July 3, 2018
Dearest Mother,
Rejoice! The tides have turned as we have managed to shut down their lines of communications by sending in a wave of black people doing ordinary things that they feel compelled to report. Chaos has ensued. The red hats are floundering. #secondcivilwarletters— TeriSaysWhat (@IamTeriC) July 3, 2018
