Congressman Steals Pope’s Water Glass. And Then It Gets Weird.

After Pope Francis spoke before a joint session of Congress on Thursday, one member of Congress snuck up to the podium and stole his water glass. Now that's weird enough. But it gets even weirder. Then he and others drank from it, invited still others to dip their water in it, and now the congressman plans to anoint his grandchildren because he thinks it's "holy water" and will do...well, something. … [Read more...]

Jones: Pope’s Climate Change Bill Would Kill a Billion People!


Terminal hysteric Alex Jones is none too happy about the pope's visit to the United States and he's frothing at the mouth as he rages against the pope's advocacy of taking action to arrest global climate change. Like most everything else he disagrees with, taking action on climate change is the Worst Thing Ever and it would kill a billion people. A billion, people! And he's going to vomit! … [Read more...]

American Catholics More Liberal Than Church, Most Americans


I've always found it fascinating that most of the people who attend Catholic churches don't actually believe a large portion of the church's official doctrines, from the perpetual virginity of Mary to literal transubstantiation to the evils of birth control. A new survey reveals that not only are most American Catholics out of step with the church, they're more liberal on most issues than the average American is. … [Read more...]

I Blame Gay Marriage for This

A Catholic school teacher from Ft. Wayne, Indiana has married Jesus in an elaborate ceremony during which she prostrated herself on the altar and swore to remain a virgin and never marry another for the rest of her life. She isn't becoming a nun or anything, but she will now be considered a "bride of Christ." … [Read more...]

Wingnut on Wingnut Crime: Abbott v Texas Protestants


Gov. Greg Abbott of Texas is Catholic, so this weekend he posted a picture of the Virgin Mary on his Facebook page to mark the day of Assumption, the day that Catholics believe Jesus' mother entered heaven. This did not amuse his Protestant fans, a huge number of whom undoubtedly voted him into office, and they unleashed holy hell on his Facebook page in the comments. … [Read more...]

Pope Replaces Far Right Chicago Archbishop With Liberal

For nearly 20 years, the leader of the Chicago diocese of the Catholic Church has been Archbishop Francis George, who is deeply ignorant and paranoid (this is a man who says allowing gay people to get married will be just like Sharia law -- never mind that he's agreeing with Sharia law in wanting it outlawed). Pope Francis I is now replacing him with a far more liberal leader. … [Read more...]

Pope Decries Religious Intolerance

Pope Francis I just made a visit to Albania and gave a speech decrying religious intolerance around the world. I agree with most of what he said, of course, including the need for interfaith community service, but it does raise questions about Catholic history that I'm sure he would rather avoid. … [Read more...]

Wisconsin Bishop’s Inane Screed Against Marriage Equality

Last week a federal judge overturned Wisconsin's ban on same-sex marriage, following the lead of every other judge to consider such a ban since the Supreme Court ruled on DOMA last year. Bishop Robert C. Morlino of the Madison, Wisconsin diocese released this absurd statement about the ruling: … [Read more...]

Catholic Church Wants to Sue Over Jesus Commercial

Just in case you had the idea that the Catholic Church couldn't get any more ridiculous than it already is, think again. The Archdiocese of Rio, Brazil, is threatening to sue the Italian soccer team because they made a commercial that included a Jesus statue in a soccer uniform. … [Read more...]

Archbishop Wasn’t Sure Child Molestation Was Illegal

The Archbishop of St. Louis, Robert Carlson, was deposed in a lawsuit over child molesting priests that he helped cover up, said during that deposition that he wasn't sure that a priest molesting a child was illegal and can't remember when he found out that it was. … [Read more...]

Pope: Pray for Peace in the Middle East

Pope Francis has a brilliant new idea for how to bring peace to the middle east. No one in the entire history of the world has ever thought of this idea that is sure to change the world completely and bring the two sides together once and for all. The answer? Prayer. … [Read more...]

Another Horrifying Story About the Catholic Church

The first part of this story is old, but the full understanding of what happened is new. Decades ago the bodies of nearly 800 babies were found in a septic tank at a place called The Home, a facility for unwed mothers and their babies, near Galway, Ireland. … [Read more...]