Rohrer: Criticism of Trump Brings On the Antichrist

Sam Rohrer, the incredibly far-right loon who leads the American Pastors Network, says that opposition to Donald Trump is sowing the seeds for the Antichrist to emerge. We'll add this to the near-infinite list of things that were leading to the Antichrist. … [Read more...]

The Battle of Silly Superstitions

I find this battle between "witches" seeking to "bind" Trump from doing bad things with their "spells" and the furious reaction from the Christian right to be endlessly amusing. The Worldnetdaily reacts with joy that a ritual got rained out at Trump Tower the other day. … [Read more...]

Wallnau: Let Them Eat Cake — and Stop Being Gay!

Self-declared prophet and con man Lance Wallnau, like many megapreachers, loves to invent tall tales without any documentation. In a video recently, he spun a story about a man who was saved from The Gay by eating a cake that Christians had prayed over. … [Read more...]

Wingnuts: Hey, Let’s Try 100 Days of Prayer This Time

The Bible tells Christians to "pray unceasingly," but a lot of self-declared "prophets" and charismatic Christian leaders love to hold shorter declarations of days of prayer. Seven is a popular number, as are 12 an 40, being Biblically significant. But now a group is shooting for an amazing 100 days of prayer. … [Read more...]

Noah’s Ark Replica Crashes in Norway

A giant replica of Noah's Ark, sans animals, crashed into a coast guard ship in Norway. The coast guard ship was docked at the time and the ark was being towed and things went boom. You'd think that Almighty God would protect such a powerful symbol of the truth of the Bible, wouldn't you? … [Read more...]

Temple Replica Could Open a Portal to Evil!

Okay, this is my favorite reaction to the totally unremarkable tour of a replica of the entrance to an ancient pagan temple that was destroyed by ISIS. A hysteric named Michael Snyder writes at Charisma News that this could actually open up a portal to...well, to something evil and Satanic. … [Read more...]

The Newest Superhero: Prayer Woman!

Charisma News should really market itself as a satirical magazine because it makes me laugh constantly. Pam Olsen, creator of a group called Bound4Life, has quite an amusing article about being an "intercessor" for the government and how she is "standing in the gap" (whatever that means) with her amazing powers of prayer. … [Read more...]

‘Prophets’ Invade Orlando, Florida

Last weekend was the "Awakenings" conference in Orlando, Florida, an event that featured speakers like James Dobson and Franklin Graham. But it also included some of Cindy Jacobs' self-declared "prophet" buddies, who were there to share the vision God gave her of Florida launching a new Great Awakening. … [Read more...]

Joyner: Math Proves These are the End Times

When Rick Joyner and Jim Bakker get together, you know there's going to be enough manure spread to fertilize the Sahara desert. They did not disappoint. Self-declared "prophet" Joyner proved that we are living in the end times using a simple mathematical calculation. … [Read more...]

Ted Cruz Gets an Exorcism!

Okay, this is absolutely hilarious. A couple guys in Texas interrupted one of Ted Cruz' campaign speeches to attempt to perform an exorcism on him because he's possessed by demons. What makes it all the funnier is that it's people like Cruz who believe in such utter nonsense in the first place. … [Read more...]

Cindy Jacobs Can Change the Weather!

Our old friend Cindy Jacobs is at it again. She of the bottomless spaghetti bowl also can command the weather and send the rain clouds away so they can do a videotaping for the 700 Club. It may take a half an hour to do it, but she's just sure it was her praying that made the rain go away. Because obviously, clouds don't move with the winds or anything. Hemant has the story: … [Read more...]

Robertson: Rock Music Can Summon Demons!

When I was growing up as a Christian in the early 80s, the preachers were continually ranting about the evils of "demonic" rock music. This was the height of the "backward masking" hysteria, when these dumbasses convinced themselves that rock bands were recording secret satanic messages backwards on their albums. Pat Robertson is still stuck in the 80s, it seems: … [Read more...]