Ted Cruz Gets an Exorcism!

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Okay, this is absolutely hilarious. A couple guys in Texas interrupted one of Ted Cruz' campaign speeches to attempt to perform an exorcism on him because he's possessed by demons. What makes it all the funnier is that it's people like Cruz who believe in such utter nonsense in the first place. … [Read more...]


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Cindy Jacobs Can Change the Weather!

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Our old friend Cindy Jacobs is at it again. She of the bottomless spaghetti bowl also can command the weather and send the rain clouds away so they can do a videotaping for the 700 Club. It may take a half an hour to do it, but she's just sure it was her praying that made the rain go away. Because obviously, clouds don't move with the winds or anything. Hemant has the story: … [Read more...]


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Robertson: Rock Music Can Summon Demons!

PatRobertson

When I was growing up as a Christian in the early 80s, the preachers were continually ranting about the evils of "demonic" rock music. This was the height of the "backward masking" hysteria, when these dumbasses convinced themselves that rock bands were recording secret satanic messages backwards on their albums. Pat Robertson is still stuck in the 80s, it seems: … [Read more...]


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Pat Robertson Predicts Fall of Saudi Arabia

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At the end of every year, Pat Robertson goes to a mountaintop retreat and communes with God, who gives him predictions for the next year (apparently, you get better reception up there). The fact that his predictions almost never come true unless they're incredibly obvious should probably make you doubt this latest prophecy, that the Saudi government is going to be overthrown. … [Read more...]


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Oh Good, More Signs of Witchcraft

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The hilariously goofy Jennifer LeClaire, editor of Charisma News, is back with three more "sure signs" that you're being attacked by witchcraft. And just like the first five, they're just ordinary, mundane, everyday things like feeling frustrated, or getting sick, or feeling tired. Because we can't possibly explain those things in any other way, it simply must be witchcraft. … [Read more...]


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Piper: Sex is for Christians

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I'm sure this will come as quite a shock for my non-Christian readers, which is to say, I'm sure, almost all of them: Sex is not for you. I know you think it is, but John Piper, chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary and pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, says sex is not for us, it's only for Christians. I imagine that Josh Duggar would agree with him on this one. … [Read more...]


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Huckabee Bravely Offers What He Knows Can’t Happen

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Mike Huckabee is an incredibly courageous man. During a rally for Kim Davis when she was released from jail on Tuesday, he bravely offered to take Davis' place if Judge Bunning decides to send her back to jail for continuing to refuse to comply with his order to allow marriage licenses to be issued to same-sex couples. He did so while safe in the knowledge that this can't actually happen, of course. … [Read more...]


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Mikey Weinstein Gets an Offer He CAN Refuse

I often publish emails that are sent to Mikey Weinstein by various cranks, kooks and haters, always of the Christian variety and nearly always incredibly anti-Semitic too. But he got one on Friday and forwarded it to me that takes a whole new approach. They're offering him a million dollars (!) to either shut down the Military Religious Freedom Foundation or undergo a 3-month Christian training program to cure him of his evil ways. I'm not even joking. … [Read more...]


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God Hates Scott Lively

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It's endlessly ridiculous, and thus endlessly amusing, when the Christian right confidently declares that each and every natural disaster or bad weather event is proof that God is angry with us, coincidentally for whatever they themselves are angry about (usually gay people, of course). So what happens when a tornado interrupts a fundraiser for one of the most vile bigots in existence, Scott Lively? JoeMyGod gives us the answer: … [Read more...]


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Markell: Pope Francis Might Be the ‘False Prophet’

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End-times radio host Jan Markell fancies herself an expert on Biblical eschatology, a designation that always makes me chuckle. It's like claiming to be an oracle for the Greek pantheon of gods, you're claiming to be an "expert" in something that does not exist. But she's been studying up and she thinks Pope Francis is the "false prophet" in their weird interpretation of the Bible that supposedly presages the second coming of Christ. … [Read more...]


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Josh Duggar Had an Ashley Madison Account!

I know this is the atheist channel and all, but sometimes I come across something that makes me think there may be a god and that she loves me very much. Like when Donald Trump decided to run for president, supplying me with an endless string of dumb statements to make fun of. Well now she's at it again with the news that Josh Duggar, formerly of the Family Research Council, had an account at Ashley Madison seeking women who were not his wife to do ungodly things to one another. … [Read more...]


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Ladies and Gentlemen, Christian Rap

I grew up listening to a lot of Christian rock, most of which, in retrospect, really sucked. But nothing could have prepared me for the horrors of Christian rap. Here are a couple videos that will probably leave your jaw on the floor as they did mine. This is spectacularly bad. … [Read more...]


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