How Janet Porter Gave Us the 2nd Bush Presidency


I'm always highly amused when I hear Christians talk about how their prayers changed things and got them what they want. Never mind that in many circumstances, there were people praying for the opposite result as well and one group or the other was bound to have their prayers "answered." Janet Porter, for instance, says that it was her prayers that ensured a victory in Florida for George W. Bush. … [Read more...]

Cruz’ Demagoguery on Display at ‘I Stand With God’ Rally


There are few cheaper and easier ways for a politician to pander to ignorant rubes than by declaring themselves to be on the side of God. Ted Cruz held an entire rally just for that purpose at the South Carolina state capitol, appropriately called the I Stand With God rally. And he put his full powers of demagoguery on display, telling the gathered throng that Christians will soon be thrown in prison in this country like they are in Iran. … [Read more...]

Trump: Women Can’t Be Trusted With Secrets


Having already infuriated women everywhere with his blatant misogyny, Donald Trump just keeps on upping the ante and digging the hole deeper. He just gets to talking and stupid shit comes out of his mouth, like in a recent speech when he started attacking Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin and ended up saying that women who love their husbands can't be trusted with secrets because they'll tell them all about it. … [Read more...]

Staver and Barber: Ben Carson Just Like Nazi Doctors


After it came out that Ben Carson did medical research using aborted fetuses, he came out with a totally incoherent but kinda sorta defense of fetal tissue research, which has been very important in a great many medical advances. That's enough to make him public enemy #1 to Mat Staver, the dumbest lawyer in America not named Larry Klayman, and Matt Barber, who have decided that this makes him just like Dr. Mengele. … [Read more...]

Ann Coulter Says Namaste to Donald Trump


Professional right-wing troll Ann Coulter has become Donald Trump's most prominent supporter, even introducing him at a campaign event in Iowa and showering him with praise. She's too old to become Mrs. Donald Trump #4, so she isn't gonna get her hands on any of his money, so what explains her loud advocacy for his candidacy? I think I can tell you exactly what it is. … [Read more...]

Liz and Dick Cheney’s Fantasy Echo Chamber


Dick Cheney and his daughter Liz seem to live in a different world than the rest of us do. In the world they live in, Dick Cheney is "courageous and dedicated and honorable” and the American people show tremendous "gratitude" to him. In the real world, Cheney was the astonishingly dishonest advocate of a war that killed hundreds of thousands of people and he's only slightly more popular than Lyme disease. … [Read more...]

Won’t the Real Dim Shady Please Stand Up


I thought Mitt Romney was the most incoherent politician I'd ever seen, having taken pretty much every possible side on every possible issue at some point, but Donald Trump may actually have him beaten in that respect. Some conservative news outlets, like the Daily Caller, are seeing beyond the fact that he pisses liberals off and pointing out that it's nearly impossible to figure out what he actually believes about anything. … [Read more...]

Hulk Hogan Wants to Be Trump’s Running Mate


Hulk Hogan says he wants to be Donald Trump's vice presidential running mate, which I think would bring exactly the appropriate atmosphere to the campaign. Donald Trump is essentially the pro wrestler of politics at this point and Hulk Hogan would at least fit in with his blatant racism, so it seems to me like a match made in heaven. … [Read more...]

Fiorina Fudges on Fossil Fuels and the Environment


Carly Fiorina did an interview with Katie Couric about her energy plan, which can be summed up in this statement: Meet the new fossil fuel regime, same as the old fossil fuel regime. It was just a rehash of dishonest talking points against wind and solar energy and nonsensical talk about "clean coal" (which simply does not exist; it is by far the worst polluting form of energy production). The Star-Ledger did some fact-checking: … [Read more...]

The Classiest Political Ad Ever Made

Donald Trump has yet to put out a campaign commercial, so Jimmy Kimmel created one for him. And it's the biggest, classiest, most amazing political ad ever made. It reveals Trump's secret plan to do something incredible to fix every problem there is, unlike all those other loser candidates who are just stupid. Trump is the best thing that ever happened to campaign commercials. … [Read more...]

Rafael Cruz, Still Lying for Jesus


Rafael Cruz, father of Ted, is still telling the same ridiculous lie he's been telling all along about imminent Christian persecution, but now he's attempting to add in a bit of constitutional law analysis to make it even more ridiculous. He claims, absurdly, that since the same-sex marriage ruling was based on the 14th Amendment (and it really wasn't), churches will now be forced to hire gay ministers. Oh, and the devil too. … [Read more...]

The Bible, King Donald Trump Version


Here's a great reason to love Twitter. Since Donald Trump is professing his undying love of the Bible but thinks it's too personal to share his favorite verse -- because he doesn't have one, because he doesn't give two shits about the Bible -- Twitter users have created the hashtag #TrumpBible and they're coming up with some truly hilarious verses as Donald Trump would write them. Some of my favorites: … [Read more...]