God is Punishing Us for Rebuilding the World Trade Center?


Wingnuts are forever reading their biblical tea leaves and telling us what God is punishing us for today (spoiler alert: he's punishing us for all the things wingnuts don't like), but this one seems particularly weird. Jonathan Cahn, the Worldnetdaily's favorite Messianic Jew (read: Christian preacher) told Jim Bakker (read: con man) that rebuilding at Ground Zero was the last straw that made God go all medieval on our asses. … [Read more...]

Pat Robertson’s God Works in Really Mysterious Ways


I've written many times about that segment on the 700 Club every day when Pat Robertson answers questions from viewers. When I see a clip from it, I have to make sure there's a towel on my desk lest I get a concussion from my head hitting it at a high rate of speed. On Monday, he decided to throw in a really bizarre story about how God spared a man from having to take care of a woman who became an invalid by deliberately ruining their relationship: … [Read more...]

Klingenschmitt is Discerning Demons Again

One of my favorite things to watch is our old friend Gordon Klingenschmitt when he starts "discerning" different demons who are possessing people he's never met. Pretty much anyone who disagrees with him on anything is, in his view, demon-possessed. And with his Secret Wingnut Demon Decoder Ring, he's able to identify them. Like now he says that gay people and pedophiles are possessed by totally different demons. … [Read more...]

Abortion and the New Satanic Panic


Okay, I admit to laughing when I read this article on an anti-abortion site about satanists performing abortions as rituals. It reminded me so much of Mike Warnke, author of the book Satan Seller, in which he claimed to have done all manner of horrible things, including taking part in ritual human sacrifice, when he was a "high priest" of satanism. Turns out it was all bullshit and he was exposed as a liar. … [Read more...]

Now Obama IS the Antichrist


I really wish the Christian right would get together and decide whether Barack Obama actually is the Antichrist, or the "false prophet," of some other identity that figures into their end-times fantasies. Last week the Worldnetdaily told us that Obama is not the Antichrist but is merely the false prophet. But their ideological sister site, BarbWire, now informs us that Obama actually is the Antichrist and was put in power by Satan himself. … [Read more...]

Markell: Pope Francis Might Be the ‘False Prophet’


End-times radio host Jan Markell fancies herself an expert on Biblical eschatology, a designation that always makes me chuckle. It's like claiming to be an oracle for the Greek pantheon of gods, you're claiming to be an "expert" in something that does not exist. But she's been studying up and she thinks Pope Francis is the "false prophet" in their weird interpretation of the Bible that supposedly presages the second coming of Christ. … [Read more...]

Priest Getting Text Messages From a Demon

Someone get Gordon Klingenschmitt on the phone, we've got a live one. A Polish priest tried to do an exorcism on a young women and apparently failed (well yeah; there's no such thing as demons) and now he thinks the demon is sending him text messages. … [Read more...]

Pastor: Gays Possessed by ‘Putrid Smelling Demons’

In one of the most deranged anti-gay columns you'll ever read, Pastor Bert Ferias of Holy Fires Ministries asks gay people to "please do not get upset with me" for speaking "very plainly and straightforward (sic) about homosexuality." And then he launches on a long screed that includes this: … [Read more...]

A Really Bad Reason to Ban Circumcision

There is a growing movement in this country and around the world to ban male circumcision, but a legislator in Zimbabwe has come up with the worst justification ever for doing so: Because the foreskin can be used in witchcraft to curse people. … [Read more...]

Jesus Took the Wheel; You’ll Totally Believe What Happened Next

A woman in Ft. Wayne is in jail after running over a motorcyclist because, she said, God told her out of the blue that he would take over the driving. I think she may be taking that "God is my co-pilot" bumper sticker just a little bit too literally. … [Read more...]

Jesus Found In an Apple

Jesus has apparently grown tired of appearing in vague images on tortillas, toast and bathroom mold. He's now appearing on the skin of an apple in New Mexico, though no one other than the why who claims it's there can see it. Here's the image: … [Read more...]

I Heart William Tapley

I find William Tapley endlessly entertaining. The self-declared "third eagle of the apocalypse" makes these bizarre Youtube videos pointing out symbolism that no one else sees and relates it all to the Bible and the "end times." In this video, he finds information about what the Illuminati has planned in, of all places, a Miracle Whip commercial. … [Read more...]