God Saves Inanimate Objects Over People

And here we have yet another story where some terrible, deadly event happens but everyone is inspired to praise the lord because some inanimate Christian objects survived. In this case, a storm system killed seven people but three wooden crosses were left standing so IT'S A MIRACLE! PRAISE GOD! … [Read more...]

LeClaire: Christians are Putting Demonic Curses on Me!

Jennifer LeClaire, editor of Charisma News, is what we might call "reality-challenged." Her connection to the real world is tenuous if it exists at all. Instead, she lives in a world of goblins and witches and demons, with whom she courageously battles every day. And even her fellow Christians are cursing her with sickness now! … [Read more...]

The Limitlessness of Supernatural Explanations

The Christian right loves to claim a supernatural cause to entirely mundane, natural events. Hurricanes and earthquakes are obviously the result of sin, God is punishing us for (fill in the blank). And so Rick Wiles informs us that the Zika virus is a result of Mexicans "worshiping death." … [Read more...]

Pope Sends Out ‘Super Confessors’ to Hear Super Sins

Pope Francis has dispatched hundreds of "super confessors" around the world to take confession of really super serious sins. Apparently there are some sins that can only be absolved by like level three clerics with extra strong powers of absolution because a normal priest would be killed merely by hearing them. … [Read more...]

Donald Trump is Demonic!

Our old friend Gordon Klingenschmitt has a guest column on his website from a guy named Andre Traversa, who seems a good match for him. He's a big Ted Cruz fan and he's decided that Donald Trump's attacks on Cruz are proof that he's possessed by demons. I'm sure he and Gordon have names for them. … [Read more...]

Harvey on Abortion and Noah’s Ark

I am always amused when Christians invoke the utterly ridiculous Noah's Ark story from the Bible as if it were a real thing. Extreme anti-gay bigot Linda Harvey's latest Worldnetdaily column, which is about abortion instead of The Gay, makes the argument that the "march for life" really began way back at Noah's Ark when Noah obeyed God and was spared. … [Read more...]

Swanson: Hillary Clinton Will Turn a Majority of Kids Gay!

Kevin Swanson, the deranged bigot who wants gay people put to death, not only thinks that Girl Scout cookies and the movie Frozen turn kids gay, but that if Hillary Clinton is elected president, she'll turn the vast majority of American kids gay. Because apparently that's all it takes to make someone gay. The mere act of being elected will instantaneously turn kids gay. … [Read more...]

Woman Prays Tornado Away to Kill Other People

Pat Robertson once claimed to have prayed away a hurricane from Virginia Beach and made it turn north, where it hit New Jersey and New York instead and did billions of dollars in damage. Now a woman in Rowlett, Texas claims that she used the power of God to command the tornado that hit there Christmas day to hit somewhere else instead. Eight people were killed. … [Read more...]

Manning Taunts Protesters With Bigoted Slurs

I'm sure you all remember James David Manning, the utterly deranged pastor from Harlem who thinks, among other bizarre things, that Starbucks puts gay semen into their lattes. A group of people protested outside his church and he responded to them in the kind, thoughtful manner to which we are accustomed. Just kidding. He screamed bigoted slurs at them, including, bizarrely, calling them "niggers." … [Read more...]

Fischer Prays to Stop Obama from Listening to Satan

Bryan Fischer thinks that Satan is whispering naughty thoughts to President Obama, giving him an agenda. Unlike Gordon Klingenschmitt, he doesn't think Obama is possessed by demons, but he's quite concerned about the president being unduly influenced by the Evil One. So what does he do about it? Well, he prays of course. Because praying has worked so well so far. … [Read more...]

The Worldnetdaily’s Weird New Bible

Longtime Friend of Dispatches Richard Bartholomew points out that the Worldnetdaily is now selling a Bible that most orthodox Christians would consider to be highly heretical. It isn't just a new translation, it contains a bunch of other non-canonical books and an additional chapter at the end of Acts, a known forgery created by weirdos who think the British are the "lost tribes of Israel." … [Read more...]

The Feuerstein/Starbucks Cups Story Gets Even Dumber

I know, I know, it hardly seems possible that Josh Feuerstein's anti-boycott of Starbucks over their plain red holiday cups, which apparently show how much they hate Christianity, could get any weirder or more stupid. But it has. After encouraging people not to boycott Starbucks but to go to Starbucks, order coffee and tell them your name is Merry Christmas, his website now has an article about the evil things you support by going to Starbucks. … [Read more...]