Toledo Mayoral Candidate: God Will Destroy City if I’m Not Elected

A woman running for mayor of Toledo for the 5th time says that she won the vote last time and that if she doesn't get what she has earned -- the seat -- this time around, God is going to visit great destruction upon the city. Oh, and she said this while speaking in tongues, aka babbling like an idiot. Oh, and she's a self-declared "prophetess" as well. … [Read more...]

Oh Good, More Signs of Witchcraft

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The hilariously goofy Jennifer LeClaire, editor of Charisma News, is back with three more "sure signs" that you're being attacked by witchcraft. And just like the first five, they're just ordinary, mundane, everyday things like feeling frustrated, or getting sick, or feeling tired. Because we can't possibly explain those things in any other way, it simply must be witchcraft. … [Read more...]

LeClaire: Witchcraft Causes You to Lose Your Keys

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Jennifer LeClaire, the editor of Charisma News, never fails to crack me up, especially when she starts babbling about witchcraft and demons and such. She gets especially fired up every October because she actually believes that real witchcraft centers around Halloween and that witches unleash spells and curses on Christians. But have no fear, she has all the warning signs that you might be under the attack of witches: … [Read more...]

Bakker and Wiles: Satanic Temples Hidden in Planned Parenthood Clinics!


The deranged Rick Wiles was once again on Jim Bakker's television show and they had quite a conversation about the evils of abortion. Wiles, Bakker and Bakker's wife Lori all claimed that abortion is linked to Satanic baby-killing rituals. In fact, there are Satanic temples hidden inside Planned Parenthood clinics -- and their activities increase around Halloween! … [Read more...]

Joyner Prayed for California Drought


Usually, preachers pray for an end to bad things and encourage their followers to do the same. Not Rick Joyner. He says he's been praying for the drought in California to continue. Why? Because he thinks that will encourage people to leave the state before God destroys it with a massive earthquake, as the big guy allegedly told him he was going to do. Because that's a totally reasonable thing to do. … [Read more...]

Today is the End of the World. Yes, Again.

Having only narrowly averted the predicted cataclysms that were supposed to hit us on Sept. 13th, 23rd or 24th (depending on which wingnut was making the prediction), we are faced once again with a prophecied end of the world. The date: Today! According to a group of Christian end-times theology types, October 7 is the date on which "the world will pass away" and be "annihilated." … [Read more...]

God Told Bakker to Wear Black Underwear


Disgraced con man and televangelist Jim Bakker claims to talk to God every day, which would explain why all those predictions he made for September about a financial collapse and lots of natural disasters hitting America turned out to be false. But God doesn't just warn him about such things, he tells him what clothes to wear. And those clothes prove that God is really talking to him. … [Read more...]

End Times ‘Prophet’ Cahn: Wrong Again

Jonathan Cahn, the end-times preacher rabbi behind all that shemitah year nonsense, has whiffed completely on his prediction that horrible things would happen to the United States last month, so he's now extended it a whole year so that if anything bad happens in that time, he can claim to have been accurate. But over the weekend, he predicted that Hurricane Joaquin might hit Washington, DC as God's punishment for The Gay. … [Read more...]

Land: Obama the Result of God’s Judgment


I wish the Christian right would figure out whether President Obama's presidency is going to lead to God's judgment on the United States or whether it actually is God's judgment on us. Some claim the former, some claim the latter. Add former Southern Baptist Convention leader Richard Land to the list of those who think God put Obama in power as a judgment for all the terrible things we've done. … [Read more...]

The Worldnetdaily’s Problem With Cause and Effect


A couple weeks ago, a weather system formed in the Atlantic ocean that was named Tropical Storm Joaquin, which has since gained strength and become a hurricane. On Wednesday, a Palestinian leader spoke at the United Nations and the Palestinian flag was flown over the UN headquarters, as is customary. The Worldnetdaily thinks the second thing caused the first thing and they quote "experts in Biblical prophecy" talking about it. … [Read more...]

Piper: Sex is for Christians

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I'm sure this will come as quite a shock for my non-Christian readers, which is to say, I'm sure, almost all of them: Sex is not for you. I know you think it is, but John Piper, chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary and pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, says sex is not for us, it's only for Christians. I imagine that Josh Duggar would agree with him on this one. … [Read more...]

Congressman Steals Pope’s Water Glass. And Then It Gets Weird.

After Pope Francis spoke before a joint session of Congress on Thursday, one member of Congress snuck up to the podium and stole his water glass. Now that's weird enough. But it gets even weirder. Then he and others drank from it, invited still others to dip their water in it, and now the congressman plans to anoint his grandchildren because he thinks it's "holy water" and will do...well, something. … [Read more...]