Congratulations America. You’ve shown that the middle class white blue collar voter still has a voice in this country. We had no idea.
Congratulations Democrats. Your corruption and deception led to the election of an unelectable hated candidate in bed with corporate America who voters don’t trust.
Congratulations Misogynists. The most powerful leader in the free world will fight for your freedom to brag about sexual assault, and will never hinder your civil liberties to grab what you want. You’re safe here.
Congratulations Racists. Your candidate was endorsed by the KKK, and called Mexicans rapists, and has proved once again that your privilege to hate and demean others will continue thrive in the Great Land of America. Thank White Jesus.
Congratulations Republicans. Despite turning your back on the human embodiment of all your bad ideas, you still won. You trained a fighting dog, pretended he wasn’t yours when he got out and bit people, but now you get to accept the prize he won at the dog show. Well played.
Congratulations Bullies. You can now make fun of people with disabilities, ban people based on their religious beliefs, and make broad generalizations about races and creeds without the fear of your bullying being infringed upon.
Congratulations Gun Owners. Now anyone can buy a gun for any reason. No extensive background check will be necessary. No testing, and no training will be required. No high-power guns will be banned. You’re really much safer now. You shouldn’t worry with all those statistics that say the complete opposite.
Congratulations 3rd Party Voters. You really made your statement. You held your breath until you passed out like a good little brat, and now no one gets to go outside.Congratulations Christians. The most religious parts of this country just elected a man who Jesus would be really proud of.
My apologies to everyone else.
I’m sorry to the women of this country. Your decisions about your body should always be yours. And you should never be punished for that.
I’m sorry to the LGBT couples who now have to worry about their rights being stripped away.
I’m sorry to the troops and their families who will be deployed to deal with the new fights our president causes.
I’m sorry to the Muslims of this country who now live in fear of being placed in internment camps, or withheld from seeing their families.
I’m sorry to the Hispanics of this country who feel like our new president isn’t their president.
I’m sorry to the African Americans of this country who heard our new president say “All Lives Matter” and realized he still doesn’t get it and never will.
I’m sorry to the 20 million Americans with preexisting conditions who will soon be denied coverage, again.
I’m sorry to Bernie Sanders. You should have been in Hillary’s place. Cheaters never win; and she didn’t.
And most of all, I’m sorry to my children. I’ll continue to fight for you in every way I can. This isn’t your fault. It’s ours.
I promise to fight for equality, and to fight for all of you, through educating the public, to make sure this never happens again.