Once again, I am joined by my great friend, David Pendleton aboard the Carnival Dream Cruise Ship!
Aboard the Carnival Dream, they have a huge and wonderful video game arcade! I can’t believe how many games they have and how spoiled today’s kids are. When I was a boy, I was a video game pioneer. We had different games than they have today.
Our pixels were HUGE! Our games all looked like bad Lego accidents. Is it a pyramid? Darth Vader? Either way, you didn’t want to mess with it/him! Our games didn’t have soundtracks. No sweeping, symphonic masterpieces. We had beeps, blurps, and explosion thud sounds.
When things got advanced beyond the likes of Pong, Asteroids and Space Invaders, we graduated to Dig Dug!
It was pure genius. The plot was a spaceman digging through various levels of soil underground… as spacemen tend to do. He was constantly chased by fire-breathing toys, as any self-respecting spaceman would expect. To defeat the fire-breathing toys, he would take a bicycle pump, stick the end into the naval of the approaching dragon and inflate them until they explode!
Then, upon completion, the screen would offer this message: “Winners Don’t Do Drugs”.
The game designers were obviously not winners.
Next, my friend Dave Beals joins the show. Unlike many comedians, Dave is in a great mood most of the time. This could be because of his innate cheery disposition, or due to the “You Must Be This Tall Before Getting Angry” restriction signs. Standing at a whopping 60-inches in height, Dave doesn’t have to worry about lacerations from ceiling fans, but he does get a lot of bruising on his head from other people’s elbows.
He naturally stands at five-feet, but he tells people that he is 5’1”, because he “identifies” as being tall.
The real embarrassing moments come when he gets asked for his driver’s license and under “height”, it reads “Shown In Actual Size”.
Dave’s wife is much taller than him – she is 5’8” (5’10” in heels… which aren’t allowed). But, after 18-years of marriage, Dave recently realized that he can’t allow anything to ever tragically happen to his bride… otherwise he will lose the ability to reach anything in the “upper half” of their house! Forget the ice cream. All he’ll be able to reach is the dog food!
In other words, she completes him.
Now, Dave is often asked his secret to a strong, happy marriage. He attributes it to their Biblical foundation. Ephesians 5:22, in particular has a high priority in their household. It reads:
“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands”
Oddly enough, he had to introduce her to this passage, as she had never read it before. In response, she revealed to him Judges 15:15, which most people haven’t committed to memory, but the key is that it involves the jawbone of a donkey and a thousand dead Philistines. Her point of firm justice, as held in the hands of the stronger and taller person (Sampson or his wife) was easy to remember.
Finally, David DiMuzio calls in to discuss his climb from a struggling juggler to a global phenomenon. David started juggling when he was only eleven-years-old, and became obsessively good at it right away. This may have been as an escape from a rough household with an alcoholic father, but regardless of the psychological origin, his skills quickly became quite lucrative. By the time he was only sixteen, he had won the World Championships of Juggling in Las Vegas (which most people don’t even know exists)
He may have peaked too soon, but he was able to parlay his teenage obsession into a career of performing on cruise ships all over the world!
It was while cruising the globe that he began to turn his attentions more seriously toward music.
Even as a boy, he had high musical aspirations. He was big Billy Joel fan, so he figured if he simply learned to sing, play and write music just like Billy Joel, then he would be able to actually meet Billy Joel and his life would be made complete.
So he started writing.
The first song David penned was dedicated to a girl he met at camp. He wrote the song, played it for her, and asked her to the camp dance where he received his first kiss. (again, peaking too early)
Years later, he made his way to the Philippines and met a girl. In need of a back-up career that he could fall back on when he visited her in the Philippines (in case the juggling thing suddenly fell apart), he again turned to music. He sent out his demo reel to all the producers and artists he could think of and earned the attention of the hottest Filipino musical sensations of that era, and offered David his big break!
Since then, he has enjoyed huge success in the Filipino music scene… all while keeping his songs clean and avoiding the “booty-licious” lyrics that sweep American pop today. Luckily for David, the audiences of the Philippines still enjoy a good 80’s rock ballad, which is right in his sweet spot (all thanks to Bon Jovi, Richard Marx and Air Supply).
To hear David’s stuff, simply go to daviddimuzio.com or (believe it or not) Google “Pretty Russian Girl”.