Reflections of Grace 126: Why Do We Hide Our True Selves?

Reflections of Grace 126: Why Do We Hide Our True Selves? July 21, 2016

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In the past, I was so good at covering the real me, and hiding my imperfections – and my clumsiness – in most any situation.  I had been through a time of great suffering and pain and was very good at hiding from my true self.

Have you ever struggled with the fear of showing your true self to the world?

Do you back off of things you are gifted in and you know it’s because of insecurity?

Would you be surprised to find that most everyone struggles to reveal their true self instead of a masked version of themselves that they feel is a bit more acceptable?

Why do we hide our true selves?  Are we afraid that no one will like us if they knew who we really are?  And, yet, most of us love it when someone reveals their real selves and all of their imperfections because we then start to feel more “normal.”

I had this recurring dream once.  

I would be rushing to get somewhere…didn’t matter where…shopping, school, parties…and I forgot to get dressed and my make up wasn’t on…fear would grip me in the dream and I would be terrified.  I would be putting on eyebrows, and mascara, and whatever, but it would never quite stay on me–it would just slip right off. And my clothes kept dropping off.  I would find myself in the midst of people totally undone and without makeup or proper attire, terrified and looking for a hiding place but none could ever be found.  People ignored me and everyone would just look at me as if I was not even there.  There was nothing about me that made a difference.  I was ugly.  I was unacceptable.  I had nothing to offer if I didn’t look the part, according to my own perceptions.

I would wake up from these dreams in a cold sweat.

These dreams revealed to me my deepest insecurities born out of being violated as a young child sexually, and for all my years after the violation I tried to paint a picture of a very together girl that had a perfect life.  But inside I knew I was ugly and unworthy and full of shame.

  • It took a lot of energy to keep my true self hidden and I was always drained.
  • It takes courage to step out into self-discovery and into the pain of facing yourself.

Many choose to walk this way for the rest of their lives rather than be courageous enough to face their hidden pain and let it go.

Image: Colter Reed
Image: Colter Reed
  • We fear failure and not being good enough or that we won’t fit in.
  • I believe, on our deepest levels, we are actually afraid of who we could be.  Who we know deep down that God has created us to be…so much more than we could imagine and we know it in our spirits!

You are a precious child of the most high God!  Keeping your light hidden only robs the world of what God has gifted you with.  As a Life Purpose Coach, I am convinced that He has a plan for each and every one of us.  But not all walk into that plan.  Some resist it because of fear.

You were born to shine forth His glory in this world.  That glory is on the inside of you.  As you let that glory shine, you give others permission to do the same.

Think about how you are one-of-a-kind.  You carry a voice…a resonance.  You have a message. The way you do things is totally you.

Focusing on this uniqueness will help you to succeed in life.  To grow to love your story.  To find joy in the freedom of being you.

  • It’s when you discover your uniqueness that you’ll be open to become who you were meant to be.
  • The real war is in becoming your truest self.
  • I know this struggle, too.  Many years I wandered, trying to find who I really was and where I fit in.

But through many years of self-discovery in my journey with Jesus, I have to say I am absolutely amazed at how much the struggle to reveal the real me has stopped and I am more comfortable and confident to be who I am called to be.

It is through transparency that my healing has come.  It is through this vulnerability that others have been able to relate to my story, and feel the courage to share theirs.

How exciting is that?

  • I am on a mission to proclaim the freedom into the world that deep relationship with Jesus provides for those who want to pursue it and to help them find their voice–the very thing He is calling them to.

I am passionate to help people uncover obstacles that have held them back and to walk with them in a new journey they never knew existed for them and one that they love.  I would love to work with you in Life Purpose Coaching in uncovering more of “you” and the uniqueness you have to offer the world.

My friends, you are made unique for a purpose.  Finding your voice starts by being fully alive, inviting people in and having relationship with them by being truly you.

It is letting go of the fear that holds you back once and for all and free falling into the arms of a King who adores you!

  • Give yourself permission to be free to love you and people wherever you go in life, in what you create and in your business.
  • Be who you were created to be, find your voice and go change the world!

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