I walk the line

Verbally abused in an unwarranted and shocking attack in my home this week by someone 4 years under my employ , I attempt to process what and why this happened.  I nearly called the police in fear for my personal safety and pray for this person’s well-being as I ask the resurrected ONE in my heart to reveal a path to peace in the midst of my hurt.  I look back and see the signs of months of resentment building.

A few years ago, I would have guilted myself to forgive and find a way to re-employ the person. A few years before that I might have thrown fuel on the fire and added my unhealed trauma’s drama.   I am grateful for clarity today and healthy, strong boundaries necessary for my and my family’s safety.

I even find myself reflecting on my own occasions of ‘snapping’  over the years.  I reflect on our interconnectedness and how often I speak and teach that ‘my liberation is all tied up in your liberation.’

I dwell in the mystery  and GRAY of it all.   I am in awe of our being drawn to one another to facilitate healing.  When I am at a loss to do much else, my thoughts form poetry-like verses and so I share my desire for us all to choose peace beyond our own understanding that can only stem from the heart space  in the midst of upset, anger, + trauma.

I walk the line

because i have tasted sweet, merciful freedom in being yours

and your air alone  as my sustenance

i walk the line
because i have trusted this tattered heart
to be true

i walk the line
because i have faced down the enemy within
and i can encounter + duel the enemy without

i walk the line
because i know our center
as love,
as peace
as a creative, quiet witness

i walk the line
because you re-arrange our crazy bits
into sane bits

and because these crazy bits somehow decipher
the language of God better
than the ‘normal’ bits

i walk the line
because i feel alive
and miraculously purposed
in my emotional
sobriety

i walk the line
so that i may serve
the prince of peace + reconciliation

I pray Luke 7:13
When the Lord saw her, He felt compassion for her, and said to her, “Do not weep.”

I bow to you (hurting one) because I have been there and you have been here. May we all look at the light in others and recognize it as our own. May we also see other’s darkness and ask ourselves how we too, can bravely face our ‘ugly bits’, asking God to transform a crown of thorns to a crown of glory .

There is only GOD and the need for GOD– this is what the darkness reveals:  A GIFT.