The Jesus I Need — An Easter Reflection

Painting of Cross over Church

In the Passion narratives I’ve never been that interested in what comes after the crucifixion.  I know that some say the whole ball of wax hinges on the stories of Jesus as the resurrected Christ.They say it’s all one thing, the suffering, shaming, crucifixion, resurrection, and later appearances.  You can’t lose the end parts without changing the meaning of the whole thing.And that’s my point.When I look at it, all I see is a beautifully complicated presentation of how to accomplish … [Read more...]

No Guru, No Method, No Teacher


Returning to the place where my very first poem formed in my Spirit. I gaze at the trees' reflection and the words return: Look up stretching, never touching, the spindly treetops reach for the clouds Glance down In the rippling water, the treetops dive below the surface brushing the clouds and in the movement of the river, the branches sway slightly Look up tranquil, majestic, at peace in their stillness Penned over 7 years ago, the message of the cross has slowly revealed itself. The … [Read more...]

The Real Emergence

Bed of Coals

 It happened during a difficult time. My life had been dismantled; the pieces were strewn all over the place. I was spending a lot of time alone, trying to figure out what had happened and how to begin to reassemble myself.On this night, I was in my room watching the movie Hotel Rwanda.The movie aptly illustrates humanity’s potential for depravity by telling a story from the Rwandan genocide of the mid 1990s. On this night, I sat on my bed and stared at the TV, becoming more … [Read more...]

It was the Best of Times…It was the Worst of Times


An ordinary Tuesday that began and ended in tears. But what happened in between is where the magic happens. It's 6:30 a.m. Making breakfasts and packing lunches for the teens. Telling myself to bring joy & gratitude to the activity-- totally faking it. Before I descend the basement steps for my daily meditation, I take a peek at the twitter feed and read "90 year old sisters still making each other laugh".  The thing about awareness-raising is that … [Read more...]

Once You are Real, You can’t be UGLY


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of … [Read more...]

The Wall of Love at the Gay Christian Network Conference

"God Loves Figs" sign from the GCN "wall of love"

For the last few days I’ve been in Portland, Oregon attending the Gay Christian Network Conference.I took a small shuttle bus from my hotel to the convention center Saturday morning.  I’d been walking those few blocks every day; but it was raining, and the driver was standing right there when I came outside. “Hey, wanna ride over there this morning?” he asked.Four of us climbed in. Said hello to each other as we pulled away.It was only a short ride to the convention center, a minute o … [Read more...]

Could it be so easy to digest?

light to dark to light

I always wondered what people meant when they said they are spiritual but not religious. Sixteen years as a fundamentalist missionary then another ten years questioning my faith and now here I am… a wandering christian. I went from a strict diet (thinking I was in the light and holding an absolute truth yet suppressing my intuition) to an exuberant buffet of various foods (a place where I only have my intuition to follow as to when to stop and when to return for more).I went from a sinful w … [Read more...]

Living Life on the Inhale


So which one are you?An I N H A L E R or an E X H A L E RI am an inhaler. I often desire what is not meant for me. I did not always know this about myself. It's the journey of a lifetime to really and truly know yourself fully isn't it? I had plenty of negative words bouncing around in my head to describe being an INHALER.Self-absorbed Selfish Stingy/frugal/cheap EgotisticalThese are ugly, horrid words that no one in their right mind would readily admit to. But here I am … [Read more...]

God Chooses the unexpected

She turned out not to be one of the bookies favourites, indeed no-one had heard of her. She wasn’t someone glamourous or famous from the capital city who was chosen, but a very ordinary woman from an obscure northern town. Well I’m talking about Mary the mother of Jesus who turned out to be the mother of the long awaited Messiah, but I could have also been talking about the Revd Libby Lane, the person who is about to become the first female Bishop in the Church of Eng … [Read more...]

Christmas Eve, Incarnation, and Knowing Mary

"Church in the Moonlight" - Photo by Lisa DeWeese

The setting was perfection.  Large gothic sanctuary, slate floor, wooden pews with iron candle holders, a hundred soft flames gently illuminating the space. Christmas Eve and Maundy Thursday were the only services conducted by candlelight. The stunning chancel window glowed, Jesus with angels surrounding him, the Ascension. Hundreds of organ pipes framed the rose window in the back.  Timpani, brass, and the choir looked out high above the congregation.I used to wait the entire year for it.  T … [Read more...]