The Sexually Pregnant Mind

I see the curves of my breast and they please. I see the round of my rump and it entices. I see the button of my belly & giggle at its cuteness.I rub the bulging bump that sustains my daughter it is tight but lovely.My legs are thick pillars supporting the whole of us, two beating hearts.My areolas expand into flying saucers while my nipples take on an unyielding demeanor pushing past 3 sturdy layers to embarrass me fully. My breasts have plumped to the next cup overflowing with milk & honey.My face has smoothed itself into a summery glow while my feet have spread into an ogre-like aura.My hair curls tighter while my sense of smell betrays.I lose a few meals now and then but this does not betray my overall impressionI am a voluptuous, baby-making goddess.My mind is on sex to desire and be desired... Join me for the rest on the Mudroom blog? (Where we are exploring sex & sexuality for the month of March). … [Read more...]

Without Self Pity: Ruthless

Yesterday, I posted on my public FB page about life being impossible and awful and how I had no hope and therefore must die. Or...something like that.A bit ago, the company I was working for folded & all of sudden *poof* I'm unemployed. As it turns out, they were straight up swindlers. They owe a lot of us a good chunk of change & made it impossible for any of us to collect unemployment in the midst of this abrupt change. No notice, just goodbye and right before the holidays.A few weeks ago the stress of this situation started folding in on me like a backpack of stress getting heavier by the day. But last week, I got THEE MOST unexpected news that I could be suffering from a serious non-pregnancy related medical condition and we're still waiting on test results. What in the actual? I've been healthy as a horse. I'm significantly jarred.When life is unpredictable like this, particularly because I'm pregnant & suffering through hella morning sickness straight … [Read more...]

In Which I Pare Things Down

When my ex & I separated, I took so few things. I didn't want a lot from that house, honestly. Over the years, I'd become completely overwhelmed with more than a decade of pat-rack accumulation. There was so much.So much stuff. The mess of that house was the face of our despair. I took my books & my clothes and not much else but a fake plant. Not a coffee table, not a sheet set. Not a couch.  Not a fork, not a cup, not a pot to piss or cook in. I started my life post-separation in a mostly empty apartment of which I was incredibly grateful. The emptiness, a reminder of the freedom from all sorts of messes I'd been eager to escape.It became very apparent, very quickly the one thing I had too much of, the one thing that could make even a mostly empty apartment seem downright filled to capacity was the ridiculous amount of clothes in my closet. And on the floor of the closet. And next to the bed. And on the floor of the laundry room. And everywhere.Still. I couldn't … [Read more...]

Lost

October is pregnancy & infant loss awareness month. Today, I'm sharing over at RaisingMothers.com about the ones I've lost.:::::When I was younger, I was a big ball of happy, jumbled emotions when my ex & I decided to try for our first child. This unknown, unmade hypothetical baby was something I’d wanted since forever. We were married for 4 years and I begged him to start trying from the morning after the wedding. I had deeply & desperately longed for a baby since I was 14 when my completely obnoxious & raging maternal instinct kicked in. In fact, so strong were my desires for motherhood that I’d actually convinced my high school boyfriend that we should try for a baby.  And we did! At 15! Lord Jesus & Father in Heaven thank you that that didn’t happen.Many years later, my ex & I married young. At 23, I was a new wife. Now that I felt the security of a stable home and an adoring, gainfully employed husband I was ready to procreate. My ex, however, was no … [Read more...]

Don’t Hate on Miranda Kerr, y’all: On post-baby weight loss.

Ladies, we need to stop hating on celebs who bounce back at the expected 6-12 weeks postpartum. … [Read more...]

Exactly one year ago today…

...Dave & I were in the hospital...I was pushing.After 20 minutes......My beautiful bouncing baby boy, Rhys bound into the world.......and I was tired but very happy......so we took him home......and introduced him to his big brother...Over the next year, he quadrupled his weight to 22 pounds!He signs "more," "all done," "bye-bye & "please."He calls his Daddy & his little kitty friend (Little Jerri Seinfeld our cat) "Daahh-Deeee."He walks -and runs- all over our house and yard.He sleeps 12 hours a night straight through!He's a happy, delightful baby who has made this Mama so blessed!Happy Birthday Rhys King Biskie ~ you are one of the greatest treasures of my life!Mama LOVES you, baby bear!*You can read his whole birth story here..  Or see the rest of the birth pictures here.* … [Read more...]

Unbridled Generosity Pt. 2

This post is part 2 of a a blog I wrote a couple weeks ago about how so many people lately have been blessing us.  Here's a few more...A few weeks ago I wrote this tweet: "man, I'm really jonesing for some orange pop & powdered doughnuts."  A few minutes later there was a knock on my door.  My neighbors saw my tweet & dropped off the tasty treats.Last weekend my friend "J" came over.  Not only did we get her to stay an extra night, stick a q-tip up my son's behind, but she also willingly did the 5:30am shift with Rhys so I could catch a little extra shut-eye.  J bought Ran a Lego set for his 4th birthday that happens to be the only thing he's played with since.  I'm not even kidding.My mother'n'law Sara was also over & she stayed back to watch Rhys so J, Ransom & I could go out to lunch.My friend April stopped by with a bag full of diapers & a sweet gift for little Reesey-Bear.Some old friends we haven't connected with an awhile sent us an ex … [Read more...]

Rhys’ Labor and Birth Story

On Monday, October 19,  I went in for what would hopefully be my last pregnancy check-up.  It was the day before his October 20th due date.  In the two weeks previous, I had dilated to 1cm.  Over the course of the next week I doubled my efforts by getting to 2 cm!  Based on my size and an eerie suspicion I knew full well when I went in I was going to be dilated to at least 5 cm.You can imagine my shock when my Doc told me "it was the oddest thing," but not only could she barely feel his head anymore but I may be only dilated to 1cm!  How on earth does one un-dilate?  Only me.  She suggested I schedule an ultra-sound either that day or within the next 2 days to see why his head was no longer in the pelvis area.As it turned out I was in labor but didn't know it.  Thankfully, I was scheduled for a 12:45pm ultra-sound that very day.  Even the though the evidence pointed to the contrary, when I got home I had this weird feeling that I should just get everything together & leave i … [Read more...]

Unbridled Generosity

If you haven't read it, there's an awesome book, The Five Love Languages which helps you identify what makes you feel the most loved.  In turn, you identify how to better speak the "love language" of those you love.  It could be words of affirmation, quality time, shared time, receiving gifts, acts of service or physical touch.For example, since my top "love language" is receiving gifts, I'm always quick to give my husband gifts but it's just about last on his list.  In short, he could care less for most of my gifts.  I have to work hard at speaking his language of shared time.  Yep, even if it's tossing a football.  yeck.I've mentioned in some previous blogs that we've hit a bit of harder time financially yet we have seen God provide in so many cool ways.  In the past few months a lot of folks have been speaking my love language and I've been blown away by the gifts of love and acts of service.May this list inspire you to love others well as it has for me...One of our … [Read more...]

A weekend of Nesting & Family

Another weekend, another project.  I have been in heavy nesting mode (and I think I like it).  Actually, I hope it never goes away!  I have accomplished so much with this endless desire to clean, organize, toss out & rethink our entire homes awful storage use.Last weekend, a friend helped us go through & reorganize all of our kitchen cupboards.  The sweet thing even went through & cleaned every surface.  Yesterday, my glorious mother'n'law spent all day defrosting the freezer in our basement which we hadn't done since... okay fine, we'd never done it... ever.  And then today, I took great delight in cleaning all of the stainless steel appliances, canisters, etc. on our kitchen counter & doing a complete revamp of our spice jars which were a big atrocious eye-sore & mess.My favorite part of this past weekend was getting to spend a little extra time with my boo.  Dave & I stole away for a 2 hour date to Big Boys... where we split evenly a plate of fries &am … [Read more...]