October is pregnancy & infant loss awareness month. Today, I’m sharing over at RaisingMothers.com about the ones I’ve lost. ::::: When I was younger, I was a big ball of happy, jumbled emotions when my ex & I decided to try for our first child. This unknown, unmade hypothetical baby was something I’d wanted since forever. We were married for 4 years and I begged him to start trying from the morning after the wedding. I had deeply & desperately longed... Read more
The other night, one of the great loves of my life came over for a “sleepover.” The last sleepover we had was in the late 90’s so this isn’t our regular practice. We’ve both had a busy 15 yrs. or so. Stef & I became fast friends in junior high and we’ve been “besties until 3004” –our signature slogan– ever since. Our mid 20’s/early 30’s did us in a bit: she went hard into her studies, medical school, residency &... Read more
A few days ago, my new husband released his 2nd collection of poetry, essays & articles called The Science of Discontent. I bought his first offering, Like Hitchhiking in Space within days of first meeting him over the phone. What better way to get to know a dating partner than to read their deepest pontifications? Seriously. It was like the equivalent of 10 date conversations. Dating a published author is pure jackpot. That first book was several hundred pieces he’d been working... Read more
I realized how much more I desired for each day than I'd previously imagined possible. With so much to live for, why not get busy? Read more
This morning I dropped my youngest son off at Kindergarten for his first day. Like me, a lot of parents were huddled around doting on their little munchkins off to face this new transition. As we waited in line, I knelt down to rest and he burrowed up on my back, playing with dangly earrings. From this low vantage point, I noticed a little African-American girl in another line, alone, crying. I peeled my son off me & went over... Read more
Yesterday, I was wildly on top of the world. And as a result I felt optimistic and empowered about addressing everything life throws at me from debt to death and everything in between. I even cleaned out my car, a feat which only happens when hope is present. But today is different. The fears of the unknown and the pain of the past has me emotionally haggard. Read more
Yet, don't cry for me, Argentina. I'm alive to myself. I'm alive to hope. I'm alive to reinvention. I'm alive to awareness. I'm alive to joy. I'm alive to perspective. I'm alive to love. I'm alive to belonging. I'm alive to my sisterhood. I'm alive to my daughterhood. Read more
As a very little girl I knew my people were beautiful, special…mistreated & hated. I knew I actively wanted to be a part of our restoration, no matter what form that took on. (And dare I say, I knew at 16 yrs old it was my calling). What my youth could never tell me was just how much I myself needed to survive to even begin to have a meaningful impact. Early in my career, I was able to make... Read more
Your necessary air is restricted. You take short breaths. You wait for relief. One day, it hurt so bad you took a viability assessment. Will you live? Verdict’s out. There’s a gatdamn boot on your neck. One day, it will come off, you reason. You wait. One day, you’ll take a long, deep breath. Until then, short, quick breaths are gold. Just survive. It’s been so long, this boot made its home. You’ve readjusted. You will live, boot-in-neck. You will... Read more
So there’s a new fella in my life. At first, I was finna be all coy & secretive. But on New Years Eve I quietly put up a picture of us and the next day my ex told me he knew I had a new boyfriend. “One of my Facebook friends told you, eh?” I said. “No, like 8 of your Facebook friends told me,” he said. So. Not so quiet. Oops. Since then, I’ve went on a virtual bender... Read more
Everyday Black Matters
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