I Hate Thanksgiving

The day after Thanksgiving, I sat & cried with my husband about how much I hate Thanksgiving. This year, I find myself emotionally gutted over Drumpf's politics of course. Who isn't?  Even bigger than that my heart remained heavy at the treatment of the Standing Rock protesters. On Thanksgiving. With frigid water. In frigid temperatures. Why can't the United States keep it's treaties with Native Americans?  Why are we incapable of treating Native Americans fairly? Why God why? My heart hurts for them. They fight to protect sacred land & get nearly killed for doing so.So. There's that. Sigh.Without fail, every year I tend to dread Thanksgiving & Christmas. Has anyone else noticed this incredible expectation attached to these days? YOU AND YOUR BIG, BEAUTIFUL FAMILY MUST ALL BE HAPPY! THANKFUL! FULL! *Insert eye-roll emoji* This expectation was something I read loud & clear long before social media gave us clues about not only what we should feel on these holidays … [Read more...]

In my light skin with my mostly white babies

What it is like to identify as one race in one ethnic background and give birth to another?  That's what I'm attempting to tackle in a healthy way from now until, let's see....the end of my life.In the meantime, I'm sharing over on Deidra Riggs' Jumping Tandem blog.  Deidre has been doing a fascinating 31 day journey called "In My Brown Skin," where she's shared what it's like to be in her brown skin.  If you have the time to go back and read some of her posts, they are beautifully written & worth the time.As a part of "In My Brown Skin" I'm sharing a bit of my journey as a biracial chick identifying as African-American who gave birth to kids who look mostly white, slightly ethnic and not much black.~Growing up in my light skin, which is practically as light as Wonder Bread, I fielded a lot of questions:“What are you?”“Yo.  What color is you?”“So. Like, what’s your -like- race or whatever?”I hoped – secretly wished- my future children would bear far mor … [Read more...]

September 11 from a black, angry & racist perspective…

On 9/11, I have a vivid image of my husband bounding into our bedroom, swinging open the door and yelling, "Gracee, wake up!  We are at war!"  My 1st thought, of course was nuclear war.  I thought we had days, hours, perhaps even minutes to live.  (I know I'm such a drama queen, but seriously who says 'we're at war'?)My experience that day was unlike most.  In short, my reaction was extremely complex.  At length, I was confused, angry, bitter, racist & immature.  I hope I can explain that here.In the midst of the 9/11, 9th year anniversary, my thoughts today are meant to look at how events like 9/11 contribute to the complexity of race and racial issues. I hold just one perspective of a black American who felt completely divided about the attacks.Even more, as a biracial woman I felt split down the middle of my very identity; taking sides with myself and such.  It's been a long journey for me that is rife with struggle and tears yet ultimately led me to face the anger a … [Read more...]

My Problem with Barack Obama

I'm in the middle of Obama's fascinating memoir, Dreams from my Father: A Story of Race & Inheritance.    Of all the memoirs I've ever read, Obama's by far is the most complex.  Sometimes I find myself rereading a few sentences over & over again, thinking "what on earth did he just say?"Last year, Joe Biden got in trouble for calling Barack Obama an "articulate" black man.  98% of black America (and most whites as well) know that it is bad news for a white man to call a black man "articulate."  Yes, it sounds like a nice compliment ~ at first.  But in the end the underlying message is: "this one black man is articulate and exceptional not like the rest of you idiots," etc. etc.  This is why, after all, the story made national news.  And why so many of us were shocked when he got chosen as a running mate.Poor Joe Biden.  He was exactly right.  Obama is extremely articulate ~not just as a black man, or an American, but as compared to all humanity.  This is one reason why, … [Read more...]

Will you help me name this baby?

This baby needs a name.My first wordpress blog name was : "This is Interesting."Yesterday I changed it to "we could all use a little grace."Now I'm thinking of these options:1.  "black.white.grace"2. black, white & grace all over3. black + white = graceor something with the name grace in it.  Got any ideas?Whatever I chose I want it to be the NEW domain name.... as I'm still trying to weed "gracee" out of my life... so this new blog name will be quite permanent.I want to communicate something about the idea of grace.  I also wanted to do something that had black and white in it and that's because I am black & white.  It's inconvenient not to be able to categorize myself in a more simple way, but that is how God made me.  In addition to that, the book I hope to put out first will be about racial issues, my racial memoir if you will, so I was hoping maybe the blog title could coincide.  Is that a lame idea??Lastly, I thought maybe it could h … [Read more...]