The Sexually Pregnant Mind

I see the curves of my breast and they please. I see the round of my rump and it entices. I see the button of my belly & giggle at its cuteness.I rub the bulging bump that sustains my daughter it is tight but lovely.My legs are thick pillars supporting the whole of us, two beating hearts.My areolas expand into flying saucers while my nipples take on an unyielding demeanor pushing past 3 sturdy layers to embarrass me fully. My breasts have plumped to the next cup overflowing with milk & honey.My face has smoothed itself into a summery glow while my feet have spread into an ogre-like aura.My hair curls tighter while my sense of smell betrays.I lose a few meals now and then but this does not betray my overall impressionI am a voluptuous, baby-making goddess.My mind is on sex to desire and be desired... Join me for the rest on the Mudroom blog? (Where we are exploring sex & sexuality for the month of March). … [Read more...]

I Switched Husbands

I got off the plane and in the car with 6 other women, perfect strangers. I was in Nebraska, a state I’d never been before nor expected to ever go. I was there as the keynote speaker for the women’s retreat, Jumping Tandem. Given the nature of my previous three years, keynoting was also unexpected. Quite. My heart contained all the feels. Wait, let me clarify: my heart contained all the wrong feels……I am divorced, therefore horrible.…I am dating someone new, very seriously, and I am So Incredibly Happy, therefore horrible.…I am the only woman who’s ever been divorced & moved on quickly, therefore alone…and horrible to boot.The 6 of us chatted for awhile and I calmed a bit. We stopped for lunch and I sat across a genuinely sweet woman. I asked why she and her husband waited so long in between her oldest teen and the youngest kiddos all under 5.  “Oh,” she said with a lighthearted smile, “I switched husbands.”  I squirmed a little, knowing I too, was in the process of swit … [Read more...]

I Am Deeply Disturbed

For the past few days, I have been deeply, deeply disturbed by the media coverage surrounding the murder of two Manhattan children by their trusted Nanny.I have been unable to stop thinking about the suffering of the kiddo's Mom, Marina Krim.  She's been heavy, heavy on my heart and I have whispered "Lord, hold her, " "God, keep her," "Father, give her peace somehow" many times in the last few days.When Marina came home from a swimming class with her 3-year-old she found her two-year old son, Leo & her six year old daughter, Lucia "LuLu" lying in their own blood in the bathtub.  From news reports she apparently started screaming "help me, help me!"  And then even as her Nanny was bleeding out from slitting her own throat, Marina asks her in disbelief, "you slit her throat?!" while she put a towel to the neck of the Nanny.That my friends, as a Mama, is just an incomprehensible moment.  Yesterday, I saw a video that showed Marina carrying her 3 yr. old out of the apar … [Read more...]

On Losing a Child

Last night I had a nightmare that my little Rhysie-Bear got Cancer and died within three weeks. … [Read more...]